Ask away! I dare ya!

I already have my first question! And answer! So go ahead, I dare ya!

I got a shiny, new blog!

For those of you who have lived a benighted life of ignorance about Norway and Norwegians, here is your chance to be enlightened: http://askanorwegian.blogspot.com/

My newestest blog is devoted to all things Norwegian, and I shall attempt to answer your questions in a serious way (except for the occasional snide remark about the Swedes).

Also, if you don't start asking questions soon, I'm gonna have to start making stuff up. Trust me, none of us want THAT.

Captions - Oscar edition

Last night saw (reputedly, as I wouldn't be caught dead watching it) the worst Academy Awards show in the history of the world. So at least you can have a lil' fun with it NOW.

The people in this picture are:

a) Apologizing to the audience for fucking up their night
b) Surrendering to the fashion police
c) Doing their own version of the famous "gallic shrug"
d) Who gives a fuck?

Quote of the Day

Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.
- Bellamy Brooks

Vive la Republique!

The person in the middle of this photo looks like...:

a) a living indictment of public dental care
b) he's drunk out of his mind
c) king Harald V of Norway
d) all of the above

Quote of the Day

On the dogmas of religion, as distinguished from moral principles, all mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another for abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

Quote of the Day

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
- Woody Allen

Quote of the Day

I sometimes think of what future historians will say of us. A single sentence will suffice for modern man: he fornicated and read the papers.
- Albert Camus

Lindsay Lohan captions!

The pics just keep poppin up... this time it's Lindsay Lohan, here portrayed in a court of law in Los Angeles. Suggested captions:



"Why Yes, your Honor! I am a thieving slut with a drug problem!"
"Watch me now, as I use this microphone for a penis substitute..."
"A little more cleavage? Certainly, Sir!"
"Man, I'm so stoned, EVERYTHING is funny..."

And of course:
"I just called to say... I loooove youuuuu"

Quote of the Day

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son and another woman twenty minutes to turn him into an idiot.
- Helen Rowland

Quote of the Day

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
- Samuel Goldwyn

Khadafi captions

The pictures just keep on coming - or maybe I'm just more evil minded. Anyway, some suggested captions for this picture:



"...and tell the tailor to adjust the sleeves on this uniform..."
"The future's so bright I gotta wear shades"
"And the prize for best male supporting actor goes to..."
"Simon says... stand up!"
"I hereby declare the Tripoli Walmart opened"

And you just KNOW this is going to be a regular from now on...
"I just caaaalled to saaaaay... I loooove youuuuuu..."

Oh yes!

Finally, JUSTICE: "Man shot dead for eating popcorn too loudly during Black Swan". For further reading, I refer to my previous post Movie Theatre Etiquette.

Quote of the Day

You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do.
- Henry Ford

Quote of the Day

No mockery in the world ever sounds to me as hollow as that of being told to cultivate happiness. Happiness is not a potato, to be planted in mould, and tilled with manure.
- Charlotte Bronte

Captions! Italian version!

One might argue that modesty forbids one to venture guesses as to what Mr Berlusconi is saying (and, more importantly DOING) in this picture, but modesty was never my strong suit. So here goes!



"But I wanna be prime ministeeeeeeeeeer! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"I farted!
"Angela Merkel naked! My eyes! I'm blind!"
"Why does it hurt when I peeeeeee!
"If I close my eyes and pretend to sleep, maybe the sex scandal will go away!"


And just for the hell of it:
"I just called to saaaaayyyyy I loooove youuuuuu"

Quote of the Day

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Quote of the Day

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
- Jack Handy

Quote of the Day

My husband and I have found a great system for housekeeping: None of us do it.
- Dottie Archibald

More caption contests!

Ya'll know how to play this by now...

This person bears a striking resemblance to:

a) A deer in headlights
b) The straight-A student you always wanted to punch in the teeth back in high school
c) President Obama's new press secretary, Jay Carney
d) All of the above

Last Boehner captions

My two last posts (for now!)...

Quote of the Day

It's the good girls who keep diaries. The others never have the time.
- Tallulah Bankhead

Yet more Boehner captions

More Mubarak captions!

"I see dead people!"
"Who farted?"


And two Norwegian ones... apologies to my foreign readers, but this won't make sense except in a Norwegian context:
"Pompel?" "Piiilt!"
"Dansar som robotar"

More Boehner captions!

Quote of the Day

A man is usually more careful of his money than he is of his principles.
- Edgar Watson Howe

More captions

Wheeeee!

Captions! New picture! Wheeee!

Without further ado...



"Is that an Israeli nuke coming towards us?"
"Cool Ray-bans!"
"I can see Paris"
"...I just called to sayyyy... I love youuuuuuu"

Quote of the Day

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic.
- Winston Churchill

Quote of the Day

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's relations.
- Oscar Wilde

Captions! Ish phunneeeeeeeeeee!

Ok, it's been WAY too long since I last had fun with serious journalism, so here goes. This time I've found a picture and given one of the people in it some amusing(?) "thoughts"; in this case the person in question is the newly minted Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner (R) of Ohio. The person in front should need no introduction. I've got ten of these at the moment, so cast your critical sense aside and let's have us some fun!

Quote of the Day

The Lord is NOT my shepherd, because I am not a sheep.
- John Arthur Larson

Quote of the Day

Moderation has been called a virtue to limit the ambition of great men, and to console undistinguished people for their want of fortune and their lack of merit.
- La Rochefoucauld

Quote of the Day

Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.
- Flannery O’Connor

Quote of the Day

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.
- Lane Olinghouse

Quote of the Day

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Thomas Alva Edison

Quote of the Day

Convent: A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
- Ambrose Bierce

Quote of the Day

We can be knowledgeable with other men's knowledge, but we cannot be wise with other men's wisdom.
- Michel De Montaigne

Quote of the Day

"Between air conditioning and the Pope, I chose air conditioning."
- Woody Allen in "Deconstructing Harry"

Quote of the Day

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called "Everybody" and they meet at the bar.
- Drew Carey

Quote of the Day

"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get"
- Tom Hanks, "Forrest Gump"

Quote of the Day

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
- Groucho Marx

Quote of the Day

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
- Robert Heinlein

Quote of the Day

"You're just jealous because I'm a real freak and you have to wear a mask."
- Danny DeVito in "Batman Returns"