Quick movie reviews

Yes, I need a life. Badly.

Saw two movies Thursday and four yesterday. Quick take:

A lot like love - thirteen-to-the-dozen "romantic comedy" starring eternal teenagey moron Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet of the devil's-spawn-eyebrows. No surprises what-so-fuckin-ever in this movie about two people who put themselves through seven years of idiotic misery before finally understanding they were meant for each other. Yawn.

Batman begins - Really, really liked this one. Ok plot, well told, good effects, right combination of humor and darkness... and very, very good acting. I don't normally like Christian Bale, but he's ok here. We see blissfully little of that ugly, stupid cow Katie Holmes (I hated her even before she shacked up with über-idiot Tom Cruise), but are treated to some great acting by the likes of Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman and Tom Wilkinson. Class acts, all.

Fantastic Four - They've made some changes from the original comics story here. For example, they have turned these virulently anti-communist, all-American heroes of the 60s into partially altruistic wimps or brainless poseurs. Of course they're fighting a mean industrial entrepreneur. Sign of the times I guess, Hollywood being one of few remaining communist regimes in the world. Not a great movie, but fair entertainment. Also, there's Jessica Alba in her underwear.

The hithchiker's guide to the galaxy - Argh. Arrrrgh. Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhh. A highly mediocre movie version of the legendary books. It's probably a bit better for those who haven't read them (What the fuck are you waiting for? Run out and buy them! Now! I'll still be here when you come back!). Still no great movie. The jokes are far between and often fall flat. There are moments and jokes that make little sense if you don't already know the full story from before, and so many scenes seem truncated and pointless without the full context. Fuck. Fuckety-fuck-FUCK, I had been looking forward to this one.

The Island - Good plot, good acting. Difficult to describe without giving away the story, so just take my word for it, will you. Scarlett Johansson is not sufficiently undressed though.

Land of the dead - Zombie movie from the hand of George Romer, who also made the original Dawn of the dead and Night of the living dead. Sufficiently unpretentious to be good, gory fun. Dennis Hopper is the only actor here you're likely to have heard of.

Inflation

Seems inflation is reaching outrageous levels in Africa. How else to explain why a Kenyan guy was willing to give 20 cows and 40 goats to marry Chelsea Clinton?

(Note: I could make up some unusually tasteless jokes about CC's physical appearance and various livestock, but I'm just too polite. You're welcome to have at it in the comments though.)

Pre-historic porn

Go here and see for yourselves, you dirty buggers.

Good news

Ambrose Bierce once wrote:
"There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy."

I think bashing in the skull of a spammer falls into the last category, don't you?

Back

Ok, folks... I'm back in old Norway again... a travel story will be posted as soon as I get around to writing it... Meanwhile, suffice it to say that I had a blast and you didn't, nananananana...

Still alive

Yes, fans! I am alive and well in Italy, blogging from a cafe in a small town called Chiusi, in Tuscany. It's sunny, around 25-30C (77-86F) and life is GOOD. Tomorrow I'm driving up to Pisa to see the leaning tower, next week I'm doing Florence, Rome, Naples and Milan.

Did I mention life is good?

Melting...

... too hot... brain frying...

I'm off to Italy Tuesday 12th. I'll give ya'll a travel story when I get back, but don't expect anything till I'm back on the 26th...