Friday, December 31, 2010

Quote of the Day

The future isn't what it used to be.
- Yogi Berra

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Quote of the Day

Intellect is invisible to the man who has none.
- Artur Schopenhauer

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Quote of the Day

I never trust a man unless I’ve got his pecker in my pocket.
- Lyndon B. Johnson

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Quote of the Day

People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
- George Carlin

Monday, December 27, 2010

Quote of the Day

Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.
- Clive Barnes

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Quote of the Day

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
- Pearl Bailey

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Quote of the Day

I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.
- Isaac Asimov

Friday, December 24, 2010

Naples part II: How I almost died

No, dear reader, the title is not just fluff and exaggeration. I came closer to an early and untimely demise last night than ever before. Allow me to explain. The Lufthansa flight took off from Munich as scheduled, and was uneventful until we approached Naples. About 30 minutes out from Naples airport the plane went through some heavy turbulence but as we soon resumed smooth flying, I wasn't too worried. I am, after all, nothing if not a man of the world and I like to think I have seen my share of disturbances in the air. Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff is what I say.

However when we came even closer to Naples, things really started to heat up, metaphorically speaking. The plane really started to shake and rattle, and it soon felt like I was on a rollercoaster, not in an airplane. We were flying through thick fog so I saw fuck all to orientate myself, which probably added to the increasing panic I was feeling.

After what felt like an eternity of this terror the plane picked up speed and started to gain height again. I noticed we seemed to be turning around and soon got a sneaking suspicion. Were we going to land in Rome instead? Were they keeping us, so to speak, in the dark in order to minimize the complaning? Possibly. Anyway, after quite a while the captain came on the air and hesitantly explained that the weather in Naples was so awful he wasn't going to try to land us there and that we had, indeed already started our landing procedure in Rome.

It was probably a good thing that we were still in the air, because a howl arose from all the greaseballs on the plane. Cries of "impossibile" and "incredibile" and the likes could be heard all around. Personally I thanked the powers that be that the plane was flown by Germans, who could be trusted to put the lives of their passengers ahead of any need to be home with Mama for a hearty dinner of meatballs and spaghetti. If we had flown Alitalia or some such airline I have no doubt the pilots would have gone in on a wing and a prayer at the risk of smashing us all against Vesuvius like a glass of spicy tomato sauce, if you pardon the mental image. As it was we landed smoothly and safe in Rome an hour late.

Things started to deteriorate rapidly once we got to Rome. First of all, as soon as the plane started to slow down, the Italians exploded into the midway, opening overhead compartments and taking out clothes, bags, little children and whatever else they had stowed away up there - long before the plane had "come to a complete halt and the captain had switched off the fasten seatbelt sign". They kept standing in the aisle for one hour straight, talking loudly on their cell phones and effectively blocking out the messages the captain was trying to convey over the loudspeakers.

Also, as soon as the plane landed we were under Italian "jurisdiction", and what I laughingly refer to as Italian organizing began. First we spent almost an hour waiting in the plane, on the tarmac. Then we were taken to the terminal, where about half of us got our luggage and the rest had to wait for two fuckin' hours before the greaseballs got their collective asses in gear. It never occurred to them that half a load of luggage wasn't going to do anyone any good, since we were all ultimately going to the same place and had to wait till the last person got his last measly bag of dirty underwear.

The scenery in the arrival hall was a classic study of different cultures. Being Norwegian, I was naturally stoic about things. I grumbled and smouldered, but heaven forbid I actually DID anything, such as complaining to an official. There was a Canadian couple who also seemed to take things in good spirit - joking and grumbling but mostly joking. There were a couple of yanks on the plane and they were talking loudly about how someone should call the local media and create some pressure on the authorities to get SOMETHING done. This would probably work in a civilized nation, such as the US of A, but not in Italy. The Krauts were talking quietly and orderly to the plane's crew and, like yours truly, seemed to take it all in stride. Most of the Italians were running around like headless chicken (probably a step up on the intellectual scale) and waving their arms and hands at each other while talking on their cell phones.

Finally, around thirty minutes after midnight we were told to "follow the lady in blue" and soon we were led out of the building and on to two waiting buses. It still took almost 45 mins before we were on our way. It was well after 4 am when we arrived at the airport in Naples. I grabbed my luggage and rapidly negotiated my way to the nearest taxi. I arrived at my hotel at appx 4:45 am - dirty, sweaty, hungry and thirsty - but alive!

Naples part I: Germany

I got to my stopover airport in Munich alright yesterday. There was a short but extremely slow line at the transfer check in, since Lufthansa had seen fit to man just one of the numerous counters there. (My bag was checked through in Oslo, but my person was not...)

I had over nine hours to kill, so feeling brave I took the advice of the good people at Lonely Planet's Forum and went to Freising, a smallish town outside Munich. I didn't have much in the way of expectations except to waste some time in a slightly more cozy locale than the airport.

Well, I was mighty surprised by Freising. The city itself is quite clean, it's as if the buildings are all scrubbed regularly (this being Bavaria, nothing would surprise me). There are multicolored bears on every corner and even some used instead of reindeer as replacement in a Christmas tableau. The (saddled) bear is the city symbol, after a legend that a bear once killed the packhorse of bishop Arbeo, whereupon he saddled it and commanded it to carry his bishopy stuff over the Alps. Yeah right.

Bavaria is the richest part, not only of Germany but also of the whole fuckin' European Union, and Freising must be one of the most prosperous parts of Bavaria. The city touts the lowest unemployment figures in Germany and like I said, its buildings are so clean they GLEAM in the sun. Everything about it just exudes prosperity, but not in the usual brash and brazen manner of Germans. It's a quiet, pleasant prosperity, and a kind of small-town peace of mind that soon gets to you when you walk the streets of Freising.

The inhabitants, in a most un-German fashion, are very friendly. Some actually smiled at me even though I wasn't in the process of forking over vast amounts of money to them. Most strange, and almost creepy, considering my previous encounters with Krauts. The proprietor at a local Indian eatery spoke good English and even gave me a bowl of steaming hot tomato soup free of charge, before feeding me some very strong and tasty chicken tikka masala. Afterwards I perused the modest collections of the city museum and just walked and walked and gawped at the city. Pure bliss!

All Freising pictures here.


Gleaming, I tell you:
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A memorial to the dead of WWII. Yes, THAT war.
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On the other hand, there was this touching memorial to a Jewish family who had lived in town. These small brass plates are set in the pavement outside where they lived.
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This was either a tacky tableau with a bear as Santa and another bear as reindeer... or bears are more kinky than I thought.
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Buildings in many colors. I quite liked it.
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One of many nice buildings along the little stream that runs through town.
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A sight that warms the heart. Just like in Norway, if you find a glove or something on the street, you take it up and put it somewhere visible, so if someone comes back to look for it, it is easily found. In Oslo, in winter you can see whole fences decorated with gloves and mittens.
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Quote of the Day

Whatever a man prays for, he prays for a miracle. Every prayer reduces itself to this: "Great God, grant that twice two be not four".
- Ivan Turgenev

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Quote of the Day

A consultant is someone who takes your watch away to tell you what time it is.
- Ed Finkelstein

Happy Festivus!

'tis the day of Festivus, and once again let me air some grievances before leaving for Naples.

- Despise my best efforts I am still fat. I blame all you readers (yes, both of you!) for not doing your job of harassing me into exercising.

- Israel. Last year I complained about the utter lack of deadly toys you should have sent me, and this year is no exception. But what has really disappointed me is that you still haven't bombed the fuckin Iranians to smithereens. A computer virus impresses no one! Bah!

- The CIA. Ditto for toys and money and such, but this all pales compared to Wikileaks. Honestly, not one fuckin assassin to put a bullet in that Assange cunt? Not one??? Gaaaaaah!

- Wikileaks. It's early days yet, but so far not ONE mention of yours truly nor this blog. I swear and shake my fist at everything and nothing and to no avail. Meh!

- My family. Still alive, still poor. Not even worth killing. Sigh...

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Quote of the Day

The gallery in which the press sit has become a fourth estate of the realm.
- Thomas Babington Macaulay

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Roundup

Ugh. I know it's been a long time since the last proper post, but I've been busy, busy, busy with work and stuff. As ya'll know I left my old job in mid November, but since then I've started substitute teaching at the other high school in town (the one where the pupils generally have triple digit IQs) and I have even been given the chance to teach HISTORY! Sweet, sweet history... mmmm...

Additionally I've started working weekends at a youth institution a few miles north of here. Long - very long - watches but good money. I've got some stories and stuff that are quite incredible, suffice it to say that my belief in the death penalty and in compulsory castration is strengthened.

Soooo. I am feeling increasingly upbeat about next year. I think I'll be able to survive financially until this house goes on the market in late spring/early summer and I can take the money and get the fuck outta here. Also inreasingly upbeat about the trip to Naples on Thursday (yes, only two days left, wheeeeee!) and spending New Year's in sweet, sweet Italy.

I prolly won't have a connection in Italy, so pics and stories from Pompeii and Capri must wait till January. I'll put in a good week's worth of quotes to be publicized throughout the rest of the year, so you won't feel abandoned and all alone.

Tata, and see ya'll next year!

Quote of the Day

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Monday, December 20, 2010

Quote of the Day

If you read a lot of books, you’re considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well-viewed.
- Lilly Tomlin

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Quote of the Day

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
- Scott Adams

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Quote of the Day

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry

Friday, December 17, 2010

Quote of the Day

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
- Mark Twain

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Quote of the Day

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
- George Carlin

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Quote of the Day

Foolproof systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools.
- Gene Brown

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Quote of the Day

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.
- John F. Kennedy

Monday, December 13, 2010

Quote of the Day

I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.
- Gore Vidal

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Quote of the Day

A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets.
- Arthur C. Clarke

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Quote of the Day

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld

Friday, December 10, 2010

Quote of the Day

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
- Lily Tomlin

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Quote of the Day

I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Quote of the Day

The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon.
- Douglas Jerrold

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Quote of the Day

You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.
- Tennessee Williams

Monday, December 6, 2010

Quote of the Day

Journalists say a thing that they know isn’t true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough, it will be true.
- Arnold Bennet

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Quote of the Day

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.
- Thomas Ybarra

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Quote of the Day

When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

Friday, December 3, 2010

Quote of the Day

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
- Burt Bacharach

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Quote of the Day

History never looks like History when you are living through it.
- John W. Gardner

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Quote of the Day

There are two kinds of stories, the ones you live and the ones you make up. And nobody knows the difference, and I don't ever tell which is which.
- Ernest Hemingway

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Quote of the Day

Hunger is the best sauce in the world.
- Miguel Cervantes

Monday, November 29, 2010

Quote of the Day

The pen is mightier than the sword.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Quote of the Day

Ok, this space has been dormant for over a week due to computer problems... so I am posting a batch of quotes to make up for the lost week. So, without further ado, here are the quotes from the period of Nov. 22-28:

Spouse, n.: Someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.
- Unknown
Support the police - steal!
- Unknown
The best helping hand you will ever find is at the end of your own arm.
- Unknown
The difference between theory and practice is bigger in practice than it is in theory.
- Unknown
The most common form of marriage proposal is: "You're WHAT?"
- Unknown
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
- Unknown
Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.
- Unknown

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Quote of the Day

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Quote of the Day

When work is a pleasure, life is a joy! When work is a duty, life is slavery.
- Maxim Gorky

Friday, November 19, 2010

Quote of the Day

Mind unemployed is mind unenjoyed.
- Christian Nestell Bovee

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Quote of the Day

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
- Charlie McCarthy

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Quote of the Day

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Quote of the Day

Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.
- Saul Alinsky

Monday, November 15, 2010

My last day

... of employment. Just sayin'.

Busy, busy day today. Teaching classes, talking to my replacements, being embarrased and harassed by colleagues. Gaaaaah.

Tomorrow I'll report to the unemployment office and if I still haven't gotten anything by then, the money will start rolling in 8 weeks from now.

Quote of the Day

Iacta alea est
[The dice is thrown]
- Julius Caesar

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Quote of the Day

Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.
- John Milton (from "Paradise Lost")

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Quote of the Day

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
- Logan Pearsall Smith

Friday, November 12, 2010

Quote of the Day

How true... sigh...

You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.
- Tennessee Williams

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Quote of the Day

"...and this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought."
- Alfred Tennyson, from "Ulysses"

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Quote of the Day

The great use of life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.
- James Truslow Adams

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Quote of the Day

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
- Philander Johnson

One week to go

I have now confirmed that my last day here at school will be next Monday, the 15th of November... wheeeeeeee! I am part elated, part scared shitless. Maybe I'll gravitate towards teaching again, maybe I'll do something completely different. It's too soon to tell.

On a related note, I have a slight problem. Back before the summer, I went ahead and booked a flight to Naples, Italy for the xmas holiday (Dec 23 - Jan 1), plus I paid a 100 Euro deposit on an apartment. I also booked a rental car at a cheap price. I would HATE not having the money to go. The apartment is to be rented from Dec 25 till Jan 1 and has two bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. It's south of Naples, not far from Sorrento and Amalfi and all those purdy little towns and also very close to Pompei.

Anyways, in order to secure the financing of the trip I hereby offer a bedroom & bathroom in my apartment for the week of Dec 25 - Jan 1, at the ridiculously low price of $300. In addition you'll get the bonus of my smug face at breakfast every morning, plus a free ride to various interesting places such as Herculaneum, Pompei and Capri to mention a few. What are you waiting for?

Monday, November 8, 2010

Quote of the Day

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
- Fran Lebowitz

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Quote of the Day

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Quote of the Day

I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money.
- Arthur Godfrey

Friday, November 5, 2010

Quote of the Day

I have learned to use the word 'impossible' with the greatest caution.
- Wernher von Braun

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Quote of the Day

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

1,000

This is blogpost number one thousand. Wow. You're all free to shower me with congratulations and expensive gifts.

Quote of the Day

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.
- Elwyn Brooks White

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Quote of the Day

In every age the vilest specimens of human nature are to be found among demagogues.
- Thomas Babington Macaulay

Monday, November 1, 2010

Quote of the Day

For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Quote of the Day

Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Quote of the Day

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
- Otto von Bismarck

Friday, October 29, 2010

Quote of the Day

He who knows others is clever; he who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Quote of the Day

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
- Niccolo Machiavelli

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Numbers

This morning I weighed in at 110,8 kg. I'll probably put on some weight in Portugal, but this is very, very good news.

Quote of the Day

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning.
- Theodor Adorno

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Quote of the Day

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard", I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"
- Sydney J. Harris

Monday, October 25, 2010

Quote of the Day

The triumph of justice is the only peace.
- Robert Ingersoll

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Quote of the Day

There is no sin except stupidity.
- Oscar Wilde

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Quote of the Day

Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.
- Leo Burnett

Friday, October 22, 2010

Applying for jobs

I'm sure this will be a recurring theme here over the next few weeks... regular readers (both of you) will know that I quit my teaching job at the end of september. So far I have applied for the grand total of TWO new jobs - one a couple of days BEFORE I quit, as a journalist in the local newspaper; and one yesterday, at Disneyworld's EPCOT Center, where the Norwegian pavillion is seeking some new meat to throw to the tourists. My guess is that I am several years too old, several kilos too heavy and several IQ points too smart to come into consideration for the latter job, but you never know. With my luck I'll probably be put to work washing Goofy's dirty socks.

Quote of the Day

Genius does what it must, and talent does what it can.
- Owen Meredith

Thursday, October 21, 2010

It's snowing...

...imma go hibernate now. Or just cry.

Crimea XI: The rest

The days I spent in Crimea after Wednesday weren't all that busy. I got up late, spent a lot of time just lying in my room reading or stuffing face at various restaurants. My legs were giving me hell every time I tried to do anything remotely demanding, so I just settled for a little driving around Yalta and its surroundings.

I went to a place called Valley of Ghosts just east of Alushta, at a place called Luchistoye. The name sounded very intriguing to yours truly, but again my Lonely Planet guide was misleading - either about its actual location or about how interesting it is, because I was hard pressed to find much beyond the ordinary, landscapewise.

I had also read about The Swallow's Nest, a small castle that had been turned into a restaruant. I tried, but couldn't get closer to the place than about a kilometer, and with my legs that was a distance I didn't want to attempt, especially since there was a difference in height of a couple of hundred meters.

One good thing was that I finally managed to track down a couple of decent eating places. One is the "Pint Pub", of which there are two in Yalta. Go to the one on Pushkin street, not the one in the very center, the food is as night and day. As with all Ukrainian places it takes a little time to get your food, but the Pint Pub in Pushkin street was worth it. I can highly recommend the goose breast!

Also recommendable is the Kozyrnaya restaurant just outside the actual town of Yalta, part of a national chain serving traditional Ukrainian fare. The restaurant lies on the ocean side of the road between Alushta and Yalta, and the interior is tastefully decorated (as tasteful as anything can be in a country where spray-on whipped cream is still the very height of culinary refinement as far as desserts go) and the views are quite good too. I recommend their borsch (soup) and their sashliky (shish kebab), which is almost delightfully untouched by western thoughts on vegetables as an integral part of a meal. Meat eaters of the world, unite! I also had my first taste of Russkie dark bread and a peculiar Ukrainian dish called Salo - which is essentially salted pork fat, which you then spread on the bread, sorta like butter, and eat. Lonely Planet "dares" you to eat it, but I thought it was quite tasty.

Saturday I flew from Simferopol to Kiev, where I stayed the night at the highly forgettable airport hotel at Boryspil. Its only redeeming feature (besides the extremely purdy girls in the reception) is a 24-hour restaurant. Service was slow as always, but I actually got a heartfelt smile from the waitress when I asked for Salo...


Valley of Ghosts pics here, Swallow's Nest pics here and Kozyrnaya pics here.

All the pics from my October trip can be found here.

Valley of Ghosts. Looked like a pile of rubble to me.
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The Swallow's Nest.
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The Pint Pub on Pushkin street.
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A Danish beer poster in the Pint Pub.
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Kozyrnaya. This room, which I sat in both days I was there, was decorated in a charmingly haphazard way. You got the feeling you were in someone's home.
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The sashliki. Meat stuffed in a thin breadlike thingy with some onion on the side. Meeeeeat!
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Salo. Spread on dark, Russian bread it is quite tasty.
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The exterior is quite cozy too.
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There is a vaguely eastern Hansel & Gretel feeling to the whole place.
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The airport hotel at Boryspil is Russkie concrete architecture through and through.
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I think I know what they're trying to say here and I appreciate the sentiment.
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Crimea X: Yalta

The actual city of Yalta lies in beautiful surroundings, completely surrounded by tall mountains which seemed veiled in an almost perpetual cover of clouds. Around the city are forests, with thick, almost impenetrable greenery and of course the vast Black Sea to the south.

The city has remnants of former grandeur, and is a mix of crumbling communist era concrete blocks and old, stately pre WW1-buildings. A few modern buildings have also cropped up, mainly housing western brand stores. A walk around town is recommended, you'll find everything from casinos and restaurants to tiny stalls selling anything from guided tours to cigarettes.

One more thing you have to know before coming to Yalta: The mild climate here makes it quite easy for cats and dogs to survive through the winter, and there are lots of them. You cannot walk through the city center of any major, Crimean town without seeing packs of dogs or several "wild" cats, and Yalta is by far the worst. However this is not as dangerous as it may sound - the dogs are not as wild as in, say, Romania, and the cats are not as aggressive and untamed as in, say, Rome.

The first day we had breakfast at McDonalds I was sitting outside, stuffing face when this purdy lil German Shepherd-looking dog came up to me. I naturally assumed some other guests owned it, and ever happy to make a new acquaintance I shared some food with it, and petted it. It seemed quite happy to be touched and eventually it lay down behind my chair and went to sleep. Imagine my surprise when my Ukrainian friends told me it was homeless and ownerless.

I started to look around the square and saw several other dogs sleeping or playing or begging for food, none of them aggressive in any way, they were just there. All the time. I noticed the same thing in Sevastopol and Bakhchysaray, dogs and cats all over the place. It seems like the Crimean authorities tolerate them as long as they're not a menace, and they all seemed reasonably well fed.

All Yalta pics here.


My first pics from Yalta - mountains in the sun, with clouds creeping down the mountainside. Mighty purdy.
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I could wake up to this view for the rest of my life.
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The girls on the rocky beach of Yalta.
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Scenes from the harbor...
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Lenin is still standing in the square right up from the harbor.
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A wild dog. Doesn't exactly look ferocious, does it?
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These two were "behind bars" in a courtyard so they probably weren't ownerless... yet.
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Quote of the Day

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
- Dick Cavett

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Crimea IX: Bakhchysaray

On Wednesday, after the girls had gone home to Kiev, I went north to the town of Bakhchysaray, all on my own sweet self, to see the Khan's Palace. I first went over the Ay Petri mountain and then down on the other side, The ride was a very pleasant one, through leafy hillsides. The road wasn't too bad, but a bit narrow in places.

I passed several monuments related to WW2 and also some caves. There's an area not far from the Khan's Palace called Khufut-Cale, with lots of formerly inhabited caves, but I didn't go there. Also not visited was the Uspensky cave monastery. I blame my legs, which had begun to ache as soon as I looked at anything but level walking. Argh.

Bakhchysaray used to be the capital of Tatar Crimea, where the descendants of the Mongols who took the peninsula in 1239 held sway until til Katharina the Great kicked their asses in 1783. In the meantime they'd gone ahead and converted to muslims, making Islam their state religion as early as 1313. Ugh.

Anyway I spent a couple of interesting hours at the palace before having the second slowest service of my time in the Crimea by eating at the Pushkin restaurant, which my Lonely Planet guide mentions as the finest in town, to which I can only reply "poor fuckers". The food was so-so, it took ages to get served and the guy who took my order and then brought the food was a sweaty youngster, with greasy hair who spoke appalling English. I wish I'd had the guts to frequent one of the Tatar eating places instead. By the way - the Lonely Planet guide to Crimea is not a very good one, it is deliberately vague and unhelpful in places and not up to "usual standards".

All Bakhchysaray pics here
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One of the caves I saw along the way to Bakhchysaray.
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One of the numerous war memorials. These can be found just about anywhere in the Crimea.
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This little fella was snoring his heart out inside the palace. Not sure if he was one of the ownerless dogs that you can see all over the Crimea, but he had perfected the art of sleeping while people were making noises all round him.
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A minaret, looking for all the world like a huge dildo penetrating the sky. Sweet Jebus how I hate Islam. And Christianity. And Buddhism. And Hinduism. You get the point.
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The Fountain of Tears, with a bust of Alexander Pushkin beside it. His famous poem helped save the fountain. The story goes that the Khan fell in love with a harem girl and became inconsolable when she rejected him and then died (there are variations of the legend).
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There's always a white and a red rose at the fountain, the white for pain and the red for love. Awwwwww.
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The Grand Hall, where the Khan would receive visitors. It's good to be the king.
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Nice summer lounge.
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From the harem.
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Crimea VIII: Livadia

Tuesday we also stopped in at Yalta's main attraction, and for me the highlight of the trip: A visit to Livadia Palace. The place is steeped in history, and was the setting for the famous meeting between Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin in February of 1945. This is where the bastards more or less agreed how to redraw post-war Europe's borders and where the commieloving cunt Roosevelt in particular, gave away half of Europe to the Russians. Sweet Jeebus how I hate that man.

Still, one can feel history in the very walls here, and the second floor is mostly devoted to the Czar family as Livadia was a royal palace before the revolution. Nikolai II was as ineffective and incompetent a royal as has ever been on a throne, so no great loss there, but they didn't exactly have to go and shoot both him and his whole family just to create a republic, eh? Especially when you think about the tyrannical psychopaths that took over. Sigh. All pics from Livadia can be found here.


The views and surroundings are still stunning.
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The main hall, where they had parties and negotiated.
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Cunts. Fuckin cunts. The lot of 'em.
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FDR's room. He stayed at Livadia during the conference, while Churchill stayed at Vorontsov.
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One of the conference rooms. I noticed that they haven't gone through with complete historical authenticity, since the US flag they show has 50 stars, but Alaska & Hawaii weren't states yet in '45. Score one for the nerd.
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The Czar's office on the 2nd floor.
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The inbred eejit and his surprisingly lovely family. There were lots of mementos of their time at the palace, and even a hardened republican like me felt a pang of loss for the lives that could have been.
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I think this was used for keeping sheets of music in. Fancy schmancy design.
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Piano. I believe the empress played on occasion.
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When they didn't play piano they could always listen to the grammophone.
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Two eejits and a hemophiliac.
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Quote of the Day

It is unfortunate, considering that enthusiasm moves the world, that so few enthusiasts can be trusted to speak the truth.
- A. J. Balfour

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Crimea VII: The Nikitsky Botanical Garden

As time passes I get more and more insecure about whether we went to the Nikitsky Botanical Garden on Monday or Tuesday, but I do believe it was Tuesday. Either way, my hoytin' legs didn't allow me to enjoy the area to its full extent, I lasted about 15-20 minutes before going back to the car. However I managed to snap a few pics of the lovely surroundings and I can only wonder what it must look like in the full bloom of summer. Nikitsky holds over 50,000 different species.

All pics from the gardens can be viewed here.


A shallow pool. Ahhh, the urge to jump in was almost irresistible. Fond memories of the villa in Italy...
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This cunt is former foreign minister Molotov. I have no idea what he was doing in this lovely garden, but his presence is a timely reminder to all visitors that Crimea is a lot more Russian than Ukrainian in its politics and culture.
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And this cunt is Lenin. One of the most cuntin' cunts ever to live.
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One might be forgiven for thinking one is in Florida or California for a short moment.
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Lovely scenery, it must be gorgeous in spring/summer.
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And the soul of the rose went into my blood...
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