*giggle*
Friday, January 21, 2005
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Condie kicks butt
The Senate Foreign Affairs committee today voted 16-2 in favor of approving Condoleezza Rice for the post of Secretary of State. I could wax lyrical about the political and historical implications of this, but after seeing some of the images from the confirmation hearings I decided to take the low road instead (no surprise there):
"Senator Kennedy... how many fingers am I holding up?"
(Yes, yes, I know he's not on the committee, but this pic was just too damn good to pass up)
"This is your brain, Senator Kerry"
"And this is your brain, Senator Boxer"
"Please don't make me hurt you, I just got a manicure..."
"Noooo! Don't hurt us! We'll confirm you!"
"Damn, she's even scarier than Teresa..."
"You're my bitches! Yeah!"
In conclusion: Condi for prez in '08!
"Senator Kennedy... how many fingers am I holding up?"
(Yes, yes, I know he's not on the committee, but this pic was just too damn good to pass up)
"This is your brain, Senator Kerry"
"And this is your brain, Senator Boxer"
"Please don't make me hurt you, I just got a manicure..."
"Noooo! Don't hurt us! We'll confirm you!"
"Damn, she's even scarier than Teresa..."
"You're my bitches! Yeah!"
In conclusion: Condi for prez in '08!
More news you can't make up
A country singer named "Kinky" Friedman is running for governor of Texas.
Feel free to come up with your own jokes, I can't be bothered *L*.
Feel free to come up with your own jokes, I can't be bothered *L*.
A jury of their peers
This article tells of "the jury pool from hell" - apparently several of the people who were chosen for jury duty in a case in Tennessee were pretty shady characters themselves (read the whole thing, it's hilarious).
Now, I realize that the Constitution guarantees a trial by jury (article 3, section 2), but people... that document, however much I respect and admire it, was written in a very different time. The distance between the rulers and the ruled was greater, and this particular point was written against the historical background of American colonists being hounded by British judges. The jury was an understandable defense mechanism for that sociey, at that time. In addition, most people back then had a notion of responsibility and civic pride - being on a jury was something honorable.
Today, most people seem to dread the prospect of jury duty (unless we're talking high profile cases, in which jurors may get their ugly mugs on tv, get paid for interviews, etc). Cases are usually more complex and more technical, and they go on for longer. So I guess America needs to consider if it's really such a smart idea to let questions of guilt vs innocence or life vs death be decided by people too stupid to avoid jury duty.
Personally, I don't think so. I just know that if I were innocent, I would MUCH rather take my case to a trained judge with years of advanced law studies behind him than some schmuck off the street who would decide my fate on heaven knows what basis...
Now, I realize that the Constitution guarantees a trial by jury (article 3, section 2), but people... that document, however much I respect and admire it, was written in a very different time. The distance between the rulers and the ruled was greater, and this particular point was written against the historical background of American colonists being hounded by British judges. The jury was an understandable defense mechanism for that sociey, at that time. In addition, most people back then had a notion of responsibility and civic pride - being on a jury was something honorable.
Today, most people seem to dread the prospect of jury duty (unless we're talking high profile cases, in which jurors may get their ugly mugs on tv, get paid for interviews, etc). Cases are usually more complex and more technical, and they go on for longer. So I guess America needs to consider if it's really such a smart idea to let questions of guilt vs innocence or life vs death be decided by people too stupid to avoid jury duty.
Personally, I don't think so. I just know that if I were innocent, I would MUCH rather take my case to a trained judge with years of advanced law studies behind him than some schmuck off the street who would decide my fate on heaven knows what basis...
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
One down...
THIS sounds like an obvious candidate for the Darwin Awards.
I hope the woman didn't have any kids - people this stupid ... simply ... should ... not ... breed ...
I hope the woman didn't have any kids - people this stupid ... simply ... should ... not ... breed ...
Sunday, January 16, 2005
One more for the road
Since it's Sunday and you've all been so good (meaning BAD), I'll give you a bonus picture.
Anti-globalist thugs
There was a story in The Times of India Tuesday about employees in call centers being subjected to racist phone calls from Americans. Apparently, there's something of a movement among certain people with sloping foreheads and its aim is to harass workers in call centers located outside the US sufficiently to make them quit their jobs, so these jobs can go back to the US again.
There are several things one could say about this. First of all, it is symptomatic of the stupidity of these people that they think their verbal bullying could actually scare off the potentially millions of Indians who could perform these jobs.
Secondly, they are a shame to any civilized society, and certainly to America's. Myths and doomsayers aside, America is a giant success in terms of race relations - name any country with even remotely the same influence of minority groups in all aspects of public life - the cabinet, the legislature, the arts, entertainment, sports, business etc. While far from perfect, the US is generally miles ahead in terms of peaceful co-existence, co-operation and civil behavior in a society containing an enormous variety of ethnic, religious, racial and political groups. (Did you know that Swedes have a lower standard of living than African-Americans? Did you know that Germany is poorer than 46 of America's 50 states?)
Thirdly - and this is really my main point today - the story from India serves so well to illustrate the underlying thuggery inherent in all opponents of globalization and free trade. You see, the only way to actually stop people from trading freely, in a global market, is to use violence or the threat thereof. If person A in the United States wants to buy something from person B in India, this transaction will take place unless person C either bullies or forces one or both parties into submission.
This may take many different shapes. When politicians do it, it will be in the shape of quotas, tariffs and outright bans. They will use the means of violence at their disposal to enforce them - such as the military, the police, customs controls, taxation, imprisonment, etc.
When individuals (who lack the massive powers of oppression available to governments) do it, it will be in the forms of burning down immigrants' shops, blockading transport (the favorite of French farmers), firebombing and thrashing McDonalds restaurants (another French favorite) or bullying foreigners, such as in the case reported in the article above. Of all these immoral and hurtful acts, the verbal abuse quoted in the article is actually the least despicable, since words will hurt nothing but feelings, while the thuggery of politicians will actually destroy jobs.
The basic aim and the basic methods of criminals, racists and politicians are, however, the same: They wish to prevent human beings from voluntary, mutually beneficient interactions, and they are willing to use thuggery and harassment to succeed. There is no real difference between the Neanderthals calling up Indian workers to harass them and the pampered, pin-stripe-suited thugs in trade unions, lobby groups, political offices or, for that matter, in the horribly misguided (and horribly clothed) anti-globalization movements of the world.
They are all thugs, because the only way they can ever win is through bullying and violence.
There are several things one could say about this. First of all, it is symptomatic of the stupidity of these people that they think their verbal bullying could actually scare off the potentially millions of Indians who could perform these jobs.
Secondly, they are a shame to any civilized society, and certainly to America's. Myths and doomsayers aside, America is a giant success in terms of race relations - name any country with even remotely the same influence of minority groups in all aspects of public life - the cabinet, the legislature, the arts, entertainment, sports, business etc. While far from perfect, the US is generally miles ahead in terms of peaceful co-existence, co-operation and civil behavior in a society containing an enormous variety of ethnic, religious, racial and political groups. (Did you know that Swedes have a lower standard of living than African-Americans? Did you know that Germany is poorer than 46 of America's 50 states?)
Thirdly - and this is really my main point today - the story from India serves so well to illustrate the underlying thuggery inherent in all opponents of globalization and free trade. You see, the only way to actually stop people from trading freely, in a global market, is to use violence or the threat thereof. If person A in the United States wants to buy something from person B in India, this transaction will take place unless person C either bullies or forces one or both parties into submission.
This may take many different shapes. When politicians do it, it will be in the shape of quotas, tariffs and outright bans. They will use the means of violence at their disposal to enforce them - such as the military, the police, customs controls, taxation, imprisonment, etc.
When individuals (who lack the massive powers of oppression available to governments) do it, it will be in the forms of burning down immigrants' shops, blockading transport (the favorite of French farmers), firebombing and thrashing McDonalds restaurants (another French favorite) or bullying foreigners, such as in the case reported in the article above. Of all these immoral and hurtful acts, the verbal abuse quoted in the article is actually the least despicable, since words will hurt nothing but feelings, while the thuggery of politicians will actually destroy jobs.
The basic aim and the basic methods of criminals, racists and politicians are, however, the same: They wish to prevent human beings from voluntary, mutually beneficient interactions, and they are willing to use thuggery and harassment to succeed. There is no real difference between the Neanderthals calling up Indian workers to harass them and the pampered, pin-stripe-suited thugs in trade unions, lobby groups, political offices or, for that matter, in the horribly misguided (and horribly clothed) anti-globalization movements of the world.
They are all thugs, because the only way they can ever win is through bullying and violence.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
More news you can't make up
A company in Vermont has created a special Valentine's Day Teddy Bear...
...in a STRAITJACKET.
According to the article, "The $69.95 stuffed animal is called the "Crazy for You Bear" and comes with its own commitment papers."
What will they think of next? A children's psychologist bear, maybe?
I know this bear isn't meant for kids, but some of them are bound to end up in the rooms of smaller siblings of the original recipients. America: Prepare for a steep increase in school violence over the next few years...
Being a teacher, I naturally hate kids, and this product reminded me of one of the items featured in Dave Barry's 2004 gift guide. That one also made me laugh out loud...
...in a STRAITJACKET.
According to the article, "The $69.95 stuffed animal is called the "Crazy for You Bear" and comes with its own commitment papers."
What will they think of next? A children's psychologist bear, maybe?
I know this bear isn't meant for kids, but some of them are bound to end up in the rooms of smaller siblings of the original recipients. America: Prepare for a steep increase in school violence over the next few years...
Being a teacher, I naturally hate kids, and this product reminded me of one of the items featured in Dave Barry's 2004 gift guide. That one also made me laugh out loud...
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
*yawn*
Since I'm too lazy to post any stories or such today, I'll just give you some more random blasphemy...
Sunday, January 9, 2005
Saturday, January 8, 2005
Happy Birthday, Elvis!
Ohhhh YES... The King is still alive... but he's NOT flippin' burgers in Bumfuck, Idaho, if that's what you've been thinking...
One for the soccer fans
Note to the yanks out there: David Beckham is a famous soccer player. The pun is a play on the title of a British movie.
Soccer. Hmmm. I can feel a rant coming on.
FOOTBALL, we call it in the rest of the world...
You know, the game where the ball is played using your foot, not your hand - hence the name.
Clueless cowboys! *hrmph*
Wednesday, January 5, 2005
My name is N.N. and I have a buying problem
I should like to form a new organization, and call it BBA - Book Buyers Anonymous. I have this little problem, you see: I can't seem to enter a bookstore without buying something. Usually lots of something, if you get my drift.
Consider the evidence:
Yesterday I entered a relatively new store in Oslo that sells exclusively paperbacks. They have a fair selection of English-language books there, and these are all offered at a discount - buy four, get the cheapest one for free. The first time I was there, just before Christmas, I left with four books, yesterday I stopped at eight (total price ca $125). I'm almost afraid to go there again for fear I'll have to buy a wheelbarrow first.
In '96 I was on a study trip to London (this was back when I studied English in college). I had been to London before, but I'd never really had the time to do any serious shopping. On this trip however, I found a brilliant store, the store of my wet dreams. Its name has long since escaped my rapidly decaying memory, but it was located in Shaftesbury Avenue, not very far up from Piccadilly Circus. They mainly sold books they'd snapped up for next to nothing from failed bookshops or publishers, or secondhand stuff. They had lots of weird books that not even I would consider buying, but they also had lots of good stuff. There were thick, heavy paperback volumes of poetry, classics, biographies, history, etc in the £1-2 range. They also had some very interesting and very cheap hardbacks, some of them of considerable size. I got a huge, richly illustrated version of "The Anglo Saxon Chronicles" for £15, which was half price.
I had some fellow student help me place it all in my arms, and when I approached the checkout my knees were trembling, my fingers on the point of breaking and I could not see over the top of the pile. Quite possibly I'd soiled myself too. At the airport a few days later, I had to go around and beg those of my fellow students who had any room and weight left to take some of my books. My own suitcase and a whole bag - a rather large one - was already stuffed to breaking point. The bag did in fact break, the whole side was torn up when it arrived in Oslo. I've been to this shop once since, and I bought a fair amount then too, but the last time I was in London I couldn't find it, so I guess they had to close. Or maybe my last purchase there simply enabled them to retire.
I also remember my first trip to the US, back in '97. I had never been to a Barnes & Noble before, and almost wet myself in the American History section. Tons of wonderful stuff you'd be hard pressed to find in Norway, or indeed continental Europe, filled every shelf. I don't remember how many books I got, but I think I forked over something in the vicinity of $5-600. I was panting, sweating, drooling, and mumbling incoherently to myself. My American friends watched me, at first somewhat bemused, then, in rapid succession, concerned, shocked and finally afraid of physical injury. I was, quite simply, a man possessed. Hauling my loot off in several plastic bags that looked about to burst at the slightest provocation, I decided I had to take some drastic measures.
So I bought a suitcase.
Yes, dear reader. I bought a new suitcase just to carry all the books. A cheap suitcase, yes - a discounted suitcase even. But a new suitcase, nonetheless. A couple of weeks later I had to pay British Airways something like $50 in overweight (for the baggage, not myself).
Of course, buying books is not strictly speaking an expense. Rather, I prefer to think of it as an investment.
At least that's what I'll claim until I've got this BBA thing up and running.
Consider the evidence:
Yesterday I entered a relatively new store in Oslo that sells exclusively paperbacks. They have a fair selection of English-language books there, and these are all offered at a discount - buy four, get the cheapest one for free. The first time I was there, just before Christmas, I left with four books, yesterday I stopped at eight (total price ca $125). I'm almost afraid to go there again for fear I'll have to buy a wheelbarrow first.
In '96 I was on a study trip to London (this was back when I studied English in college). I had been to London before, but I'd never really had the time to do any serious shopping. On this trip however, I found a brilliant store, the store of my wet dreams. Its name has long since escaped my rapidly decaying memory, but it was located in Shaftesbury Avenue, not very far up from Piccadilly Circus. They mainly sold books they'd snapped up for next to nothing from failed bookshops or publishers, or secondhand stuff. They had lots of weird books that not even I would consider buying, but they also had lots of good stuff. There were thick, heavy paperback volumes of poetry, classics, biographies, history, etc in the £1-2 range. They also had some very interesting and very cheap hardbacks, some of them of considerable size. I got a huge, richly illustrated version of "The Anglo Saxon Chronicles" for £15, which was half price.
I had some fellow student help me place it all in my arms, and when I approached the checkout my knees were trembling, my fingers on the point of breaking and I could not see over the top of the pile. Quite possibly I'd soiled myself too. At the airport a few days later, I had to go around and beg those of my fellow students who had any room and weight left to take some of my books. My own suitcase and a whole bag - a rather large one - was already stuffed to breaking point. The bag did in fact break, the whole side was torn up when it arrived in Oslo. I've been to this shop once since, and I bought a fair amount then too, but the last time I was in London I couldn't find it, so I guess they had to close. Or maybe my last purchase there simply enabled them to retire.
I also remember my first trip to the US, back in '97. I had never been to a Barnes & Noble before, and almost wet myself in the American History section. Tons of wonderful stuff you'd be hard pressed to find in Norway, or indeed continental Europe, filled every shelf. I don't remember how many books I got, but I think I forked over something in the vicinity of $5-600. I was panting, sweating, drooling, and mumbling incoherently to myself. My American friends watched me, at first somewhat bemused, then, in rapid succession, concerned, shocked and finally afraid of physical injury. I was, quite simply, a man possessed. Hauling my loot off in several plastic bags that looked about to burst at the slightest provocation, I decided I had to take some drastic measures.
So I bought a suitcase.
Yes, dear reader. I bought a new suitcase just to carry all the books. A cheap suitcase, yes - a discounted suitcase even. But a new suitcase, nonetheless. A couple of weeks later I had to pay British Airways something like $50 in overweight (for the baggage, not myself).
Of course, buying books is not strictly speaking an expense. Rather, I prefer to think of it as an investment.
At least that's what I'll claim until I've got this BBA thing up and running.
Monday, January 3, 2005
Priorities, people!
My sympathy for Thailand in the wake of the tsunami dropped considerably when I read that they're now using time and people on saving two goddamn DOLPHINS! Divers, rescue workers, airplanes, fishing nets... these things can't be put to better use than helping two of Flippers retarded cousins???
Hmmm... I wonder if dolphins taste like chicken?
Hmmm... I wonder if dolphins taste like chicken?
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