It's good to be the king

For those uncertain about the wisdom of an absolute monarchy, I present to you his royal highness, King Mswati III of Swaziland. This 37 year old ruler has been in the news before, chiefly in connection with expensive purchases of luxury cars, private jets and the likes. (Swaziland has an average PPP/GDP of about $5,100 - 126th in the world - and an average life expectancy of just 33 years - dead last, pardon my pun.)

This time the King is making headlines with his annual Reed Dance Ceremony, in which "more than 50,000 bare-breasted virgins vied to become the King of Swaziland's 13th wife". The age limit for participation? 13. The percentage of Swazis with HIV? 40 - the highest in the world. Sensitive guy, this.

One might think his highness had received a sufficient degree of punishment for his sins by having twelve wives (and presumably a few mother-in-laws), and an undisclosed number of children. However, he seems to have ways of preserving the family peace, as he apparently had his daughter (and several others) whipped for playing loud music (I am not wholly unsympathetic to the idea) at a party in connection with the Reed Dance. And they wonder why this continent is so fucked?

We'll have nun of that dancing, thank you very much!

This is yet another example of news you can't make up... CNN reports that a Belgian nun was reprimanded by her Mother Superior last week after engaging in "acrobatic and indecorous dancing with a missionary during the Catholic World Youth Day in Germany."

A local newspaper had printed pictures of the nun, Johanne Vertommen "being held up in the air by the missionary, and then clinging to him with her legs wrapped around his body."
I wonder if they were doing the Vatican rag?

Stories about nuns always make me think of Mother Mary Stigmata, the terrifying penguin from Blues Brothers - a classic movie turning 25 this year. Anyways, I'll end this post with a great quote from Frank Zappa (and a link to his song "Catholic Girls" - because I can):

"They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there."

How planes mate

I apologize to Boeing and Lockheed and all the other companies for disclosing their secrets, but now I know how we get new aeroplanes. Who woulda' thunk it?

Woe is me

Started work again Monday... three full days of seminars, courses and meetings before the little fuckers come in tomorrow and all hell breaks loose again.

I've spent these three days in the back rows, fists clenched, praying for death, but to no avail. I seriously need to win the lottery, so I can quit teaching before I stab myself (or the pupils) to death with a pencil.

I am my bike's bitch

In a desperate attempt to become healthier I've started using my ancient ergobike. Hauled the big old machine up from the basement today and did a 30 minute stint. Sweat was pouring and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but I made it, though at the end my ass was sorer than any straight man's ass has the right to be. We'll see what comes first - health or a heart attack.