Heh

No! Not the Vulcan death grip!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!

Back from hell

Ok, finally back from Krautland... I managed to survive the second day at Cebit by alternating between my "Inspector Rebus" novel and blasting Johnny Cash on my cd-player. Still, it was a close call. To calm my nerves I went on a shopping spree several times, I bought in excess of 40 DVDs during the trip. And if a certain someone doesn't play nice, she'll be getting a collection of Klaus Kinski films...

Holiday in hell

In a weak moment, I said yes to accompanying a class down to the CEBIT expo in Hannover, Germany. I don't know shit about computers, and I hate all the goddamn gadgets, thingamajigs and "neat" hi tech stuff that seems to be replacing actual brain use these days.

Anyway, it's a geek's paradise down here, and I'm bored out of my tiny, little mind. We arrived at the fair area around ten, and by noon I'd already lost all will to live. By 1PM, I could feel my brain trying to crawl out of my ears to escape, and if it wasn't for the considerable mass of ear wax I'd managed to build up listening to inane teenager chat all the way down here, it would have succeeded.

I finally managed to make it here, to the internet lounge, where I'm going to hunker down until it's time to drive back to the hotel. The prices for online access are outrageous, nay exorbitant - 12 Euro ($15) for one hour - but the alternative is worse than death... if not actual death. I'm going to chain myself to a computer and curl up in fetal position if they try to remove me. If you wish to see a grown man cry, this is the right place to be... bwwwaaaaah!

Cruel and unusual music

Who knew they sold weapons of mass destruction on the streets of Prague? Browsing through record shops or just walking along the streets, I came across recordings of music so vile, so cruel, so utterly without redeeming features, I had no choice but to buy one.

Nothing says "I hate you" like the gift of a CD with Smokie tunes played on pan flute. And I know just the right recipient for it... muahahahahahaaaaaaa! I also contemplated buying a CD with street organ music, but that would have involved me actually approaching said instrument of torture (playing full blast!), so I settled for Smokie instead.

What's Arabic for "Brokeback Mountain"?

I saw this pic of Osama and his right hand man (any and all seedy double meaning intended) Ayman al-Zawahri today, and my immediate thought was that it looked like a scene from an Arabic version of Brokeback Mountain. Then more witty captions came popping up:

"I dunno about you Al, but I feel kinda stupid, sitting here with a giant handkerchief on my head"

"Hey Al! Stop touching yourself in public!"

"Your cave or mine?"

"...so you see, sexual intercourse with camels isn't really against the Koran after all..."

"...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped..."

"... and you're SURE these Enron shares are a smart investment?"


Further suggestions welcome, have at it in the comments, kids!

I'm in love...

... with Prague.

Spent Sunday-Thursday there, and it's a brilliant place. Good, cheap food, beautiful buildings, good service, friendly people, informative museums, interesting sites - Prague has it all! Stayed at the friendly little hostel A & O just north of the city center - cheap and practical!

I'm already thinking about booking a trip for Fall Break in early October, Norwegian Air has roundtrip tickets at about $120 (less than €95) and A & O has double rooms at $280 (€220) per person. Wanna join me ;o) ???