I'll do my coughing in the rain

As if any more proof was needed that the Universe is conspiring against me, I've now come down with a cold - two days before leaving for the US. And according to weather forecasts, the whole of the eastern seaboard is pretty much set to drown in rain the first 3-4 days of my stay. Fuck-fuckety-FUCK!

Going home

Yup, I'm finally crossing the pond again. It's been over four years since I was overseas last, and I've really, really missed traveling in the US. So when I found a roundtrip deal with KLM for less than $600, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. I'm flying in to Newark Sunday 6/25 and flying out again Thursday 7/13. I'll probably drive up to New England the first few days, then I'm going down south for the last two weeks or so. If it's anything like the other times I've been over there, it'll be like coming home, I luvvvvv the place.

Suggested captions

Other suggestions welcome in the comments section...



"Is that an Arab flying that plane heading towards us?"

"Oh, I so love public hangings!"

"Harry! Remove that swastika from your uniform!"

"You're right, peasants DO bounce when dropped from 200 feet!"

"Well, we DID warn Charles about flapping his ears in the wind..."

Random giggles

Some stories I found worthy of comment, or at least passing on to you, "The Internet As A Whole", as Bucky would say:

A hands-on approach:
A Philadelphia man is recovering from an attack, allegedly at the hands of his wife. The assault on his private parts has become public knowledge. In an interview with Action News after his release from, the 52-year-old victim spoke of his terrifying ordeal [In a falsetto voice, no doubt - Ed.]. The 52-year-old Tioga-Nicetown man, who we are identifying only by his first name of Howard, arrived home late Wednesday, hours after his wife allegedly tore off two parts of his genitalia with her bare hands.

You're all sluts:
Erotic images elicit faster and stronger electrical responses in a woman's brain than do images of any other sort ... Previous research indicated men are more aroused by erotic images than women are, so Anokhin and his colleagues expected women to respond with lower levels of brain activity compared to men. [In general, that would be a safe assumption, yes.]

And no, this is NOT me.

Why people go postal

My wreck of a car died on me last Friday, and it's been in for repair for a week. So yesterday I went to pick it up, to the tune of NOK 3800 (appx $600). I had gone less than five minutes when the fucker started sputtering like a liberal faced with facts and shaking like Elvis with a ferret in his pants.

I promptly turned back to the garage, where a snottyfaced youngster claimed everything should be in order, 'cause he'd checked it himself the day before. Grudgingly he came with me on a test drive, and to my great pleasure the car almost died on him as soon as we started going uphill. He was quite apologetic when we got back. You'd think even in this shitty country, you'd get something for $600, even at a garage?

The passport of the beast

For those of you still not convinced... I got my spankin' new machine-readable passport this week. Date of issuance, proudly displayed in the document? 6-6-06.