Quote of the Day

If winter comes, can spring be far behind?
- Percy B. Shelley

The Kelpies

The Kelpies are 30 meter high horse head sculptures situated just outside Falkirk. They are very visible from the main road between Glasgow and Edinburgh and are one of Scotland's main tourist attractions. Feast yer eyes!

A grand sight indeed.


A human being at the bottom for scale.


The visitor centre was small, but informative. Among the nicer stuff there was a small exhibit putting the sculptures into context with other famous monuments around the world, such as the Sphinx and the Statue of Liberty.


Naturally, I was skeptical of the Kelpies.

Falkirk Wheel

I have wanted to visit the Falkirk Wheel ever since I first read about it over ten years ago, but it was only this year that I finally got to see it. The wheel is a rotating boat lift connecting the Union canal with the Forth and Clyde canal and it is quite the ingenious little engineering masterpiece and the only one of its kind in the world. After I'd been there I felt a slight disappointment, probably because I'd built it up in my own head to be this huge adrenaline kick, when in reality it's all very slow and sedate. Still, it's definitely a "been there, done that"-experience to cross off the ole' bucket list.

The wheel is a grand view.


Close up.


On the ground level, as a boat should be.


Airborne, very much not as a boat should be. Still, there was no adrenaline, no sinking feeling in the stomach, no vertigo. The whole process is so slow and deliberate you really just sit there and twiddle your thumbs.


Once 24 meters up, you go through this tunnel, turn around on the other side of it and go back down again. Not much action, considering it takes more than half an hour.


The views are quite nice, though.


View down the Forth & Clyde canal.


Just outside the Visitor Centre they had these small copies of another famous, Scottish sight: The Kelpies.

Bannockburn

After Doune & Stirling I drove to the new Bannockburn Visitor's Center, which was literally just up the road from my lodgings. I'd been there in 2012, when the Trust for Scotland were still building the new place and I was interested in seeing what they'd done with the place. The new centre didn't have a fucking item of yore, not a display or an item of days gone by. What they DID have was timed entries where you would first enter a large room with all manner of high tech; big screens on the walls, copies of various weaponry, etc. It was supposed to give you an insight into battle techniques and such, but I found the whole thing mightily confusing and noisy. Also, if the poor guide has to fight for attention with the automated sound system, what's the fucking point?

We were then taken into a smaller room, where they had a topographical map of the battle area, including Stirling Castle a couple miles away. The guide assigned us historical names and titles, and gave us troops to command. There then followed a long battle sequence where little red and yellow figures raced across a pixeled battlefield. This too was quite confusing, but as I somehow won the battle for the English, I didn't much mind. Anyway, I'm sure it's all very entertaining and modern and grand for the young 'uns, but I prefer a good, sturdy, oldfashioned museum any day of the week. Also, you couldn't take pictures inside. Meh.

A short walk from the centre is a small memorial area for the battle.


There was a circular stone monument with a flag pole in the middle. Also, if the engraving is true, I own Scotland. Sweet Jebus, I love that little country.


The bottom engraving is from the end of the Declaration of Arbroath, adopted in 1320, which plead for Scottish independence from the accursed Sassenachs.


A somewhat famous equestrian statue of Robert the Bruce.

Quote of the Day

The politicians don’t just want your money. They want your soul. They want you to be worn down by taxes until you are dependent and helpless. When you subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both.
- James Dale Davidson

Stirling & Surroundings

These pictures are from my favoritestest place in Scotland: Stirling Castle and its surroundings - including the always entertaining and lovely Doune Castle, where I bought two overpriced coconut shells for my own amusement.

In addition to being the place where Monty Python filmed nearly all the castle scenes in the Holy Grail, Doune is also the location of "Castle Leoch" in the Outlander TV-series. It is also used for portraying Winterfell in Game of Thrones.


From the kitchen rooms. The lines cut into the soft sandstone are markings left by various staff who used the walls to sharpen their blades on.


"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place".


The small height on the other side of the road from Stirling Castle is a golf course today. When I'm ruler of the world, I will erase all tracks of there ever having been a golf course up there and use it for the entertainment of my guests (when we're not playing hide and seek up at Stirling Castle). Yes, I have the maturity of a 5 year old.


From the lovely, renovated James V's Palace at Stirling.


The ceiling of the Great Hall was made by shipbuilders and the design is simply a ship's keel turned upside down. It wheighs I don't know how many thousand metric tons and not a single piece of metal went into it. The current ceiling is a reconstruction.


Naturally, I was skeptical of the Great Hall.

Quote of the Day

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Inchmahome Priory

I also made time for a drive down to the beautiful island of Inchmahome, where lies the famous priory. It is such a tranquil, lovely setting. First, I stuffed face on a good but somewhat overpriced meal at the hotel that's situated on the banks of Lake Menteith, wherein the priory lies. I forget the name of the hotel, but the staff there were very nice and welcoming and I got to play with a dog who belonged to one of them. She was walking around with a piece of rope in her mouth and her greatest wish was fulfilled when I grabbed it and started playing tug of war with her. Totally adorbs.


Out by the priory I had a little snack on a bench, with great views over the lowlands of Menteith, which are part of the Trossachs.


Access to the priory itself was a bit restricted on account of some restoration work they were doing.


This path goes all around the island.


What I like the most about Inchmahome is all the weird and wonderful flora there.


You can see all manner of fantastic and monstrous things if you tilt your head and squint just so.


Ever wondered what the insides of a tree looks like? No? Well, you've no imagination in your soul, then.


This little clearing in the woods is where Mary, Queen of Scots would play when she was whisked away here at the tender age of four, due to the imminent threat of an English invasion.

Central Scotland

At long last, I'm starting to see an end to the blogging about my Scotland trip in October. I'll prolly finish just before starting a new round on my trip to the US in December... I'm lazy, sue me.

After the lovely Isle of Skye I set off down through central Scotland towards Stirling, with overnight stops in Crianlarich (where some old Billy Connolly-lookalike was giving a performance) and Callander (where I spent a wonderful evening singing along to local group "Pure Malt" at their weekly singalong). I made a quick detour again down to Balquhidder, to pay homage to the grave of Rob Roy. As with my first visit there, the grave had coins and other offerings on and around it.


Close up of the headstone. The words allude to the fact that the very name of MacGregor was banned in Scotland for several years. It's something of a defiant fuck you to the Engerlish.


An adorably puppy belonging to the people who ran the place I staid at in the lovely little village of Crianlarich.


I also took a drive through some parts of the lovely Trossachs, one of two national parks in Scotland (the other is the Grampians up around Aberdeen). Here, I saw something quite fascinating in all its sadness. In a field, a highland bull was apparently quite lovesick about a (much larger) cow of a different breed, but she was having none of it. He was following her around, trying to catch her attention, just like a young boy would. He'd stand in her way when she was grazing, try and lick her hide and generally pestering her. Then things took a dark turn as he tried to mount her - which I sadly missed, on account of having turned my back to explain the situation to a small busload of Americans who'd stopped to take pictures of the field. Again, he was rebuffed and was left standing alone in the field with a forlorn, lost look on his bovine face.


"C'mon, why you gotta be like that, baby"


Naturally, I was skeptical of the Trossachs.

Quote of the Day

"Go ahead, make my day,"
- Clint Eastwood, "Sudden Impact"

Quote of the Day

Angel, ha! She's a female! And all females is poison! They're full of wicked wiles!
- Grumpy, from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"

Quote of the Day

Vince (son): You screwed up my childhood.
Rod (father): How could I? I wasn’t even there.
- Kevin Kline in "Fierce Creatures"

Quote of the Day

"Emotions... there ought to be a law against them."
- Sylvester Stallone in "Judge Dredd"

Quote of the Day

"Over the mysteries of female life there is drawn a veil, best left undisturbed."
- Eric Stoltz in "Little Women"

Quote of the Day

"Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L, and if you try to correct them, they kill you."
- Steve Martin in "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid"

Quote of the Day

Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.
- Woody Allen in «All You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Sex»

Quote of the Day

The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is reason. I have never used any other, and I trust I never shall.
- Thomas Paine

Quote of the Day

We are a people who do not want to keep much of the past in our heads. It is considered unhealthy in America to remember mistakes, neurotic to think about them, psychotic to dwell on them.
- Lillian Hellman

Quote of the Day

Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
- Robert Frost

Quote of the Day

This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
- Winston Churchill

Quote of the Day

I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.
- Thomas Jefferson

Quote of the Day

Sweet is revenge - especially to women.
- Lord Byron

Quote of the Day

How much easier it is to be critical than to be just.
- Benjamin Disraeli

Quote of the Day

Intellectually, religious emotions are not creative but conservative. They attach themselves to the current view of the world and consecrate it.
- John Dewey

Quote of the Day

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson

Quote of the Day

I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Quote of the Day

You can always get the truth from a politician after he has turned seventy, or given up all hope of the Presidency.
- Joe Moore

Quote of the Day

To govern is always to choose among disadvantages.
- Charles de Gaulle

Quote of the Day

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal

Quote of the Day

I wish that all Americans would realize that American politics is world politics.
- Teddy Roosevelt

Quote of the Day

Liberty… is the great parent of science and of virtue; and a nation will be great in both always in proportion as it is free.
- Thomas Jefferson

Quote of the Day

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
- Robert Orben

Quote of the Day

None of us here in Washington knows all or even half of the answers. If you love your country, don't depend on handouts from Washington for your information. If you cherish your freedom, don't leave it all up to big government.
- Barry Goldwater

Quote of the Day

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Quote of the Day

A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves money from the Public Treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidate promising the most benefits from the Public Treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy always followed by dictatorship.
- Alexander Fraser Tyler

Quote of the Day

Most of the presidential candidates’ economic packages involve ‘tax breaks,’ which is when the government, amid great fanfare, generously decides not to take quite so much of your income. In other words, these candidates are trying to buy your votes with your own money.
- Dave Barry