It had a proper moat and shtuff.
And a barbican.
Once inside the castle grounds, the one way trip took me through numerous rooms filled with the grandest of paintings, armor, weaponry, china, jewelry, etc, etc. Behold:
A model of the grounds.
Makes big kaboom. I apologize for the blurry pics, but flash photography was, as per usual, a strict no-no.
The compulsory Victorian vision of what the Middle Ages looked like.
A decidedly Victorian display.
Oh, how Victorian.
They had a chapel inside the castle, because why not.
This idiot kept following me around.
Eye of newt and toe of frog, etc.
They dined in style.
After dinner, one could probably engage in dance here.
The lady of the manor in the late 1800s and early 1900s was one Daisy Greville. She was probably the inspiration for the well known English song "Daisy Bell".
The contents of this room is probably worth enough money to keep any random third world country operating for a month. Which is why it's a good thing they're safely locked away here.
I shot this video once outside:
Once outside again, I even managed to climb the old motte, a manmade hill where the first keep had stood. Behold:
Looking back on the castle.
Views out over the city of Warwick.
On top of the motte is a small folly.
Behind the folly is a small square with views over the garden and the river.
They're nice views too.
That first settlement was said to have been built on the orders of Æthelflæd, Lady of the Mercians (see The Last Kingdom for an entertaining and highly unhistorical retelling of her life and times). Later, after the Norman invasion was complete, William the Conqueror ordered a wooden fortress to be constructed. The present castle dates its foundation history back to 1068, although the first stone buildings didn't go up until the late 1100s.
The views from up there were great, but I soon descended. There were lots of families with small children everywhere and a corresponding amount of hatred in my heart. Down by the river they were running a falconer show and a bit further up they had archery training.
I stopped for a while to take in the falconer thingy. The story was lame but the birds themselves quite impressive, although twice they would not do what the trainers wanted them to do. Both times owls, of course. Contrary to the legends, they are not particularly intelligent birds. I shot nine videos of the birds and I still can't quite understand why; it wasn't THAT spectacular:
On my way out, I also took a video of a peacock who was strolling through the gardens and getting pestered by annyoing children.
I left the castle to stuff face and found the wonderful Thomas Oken Tea Rooms, situated in a building from Tudor times, sometime before 1573, when the aforementioned Oken died here. The place apparently used to be a doll's museum and is quite wonderful inside, but we weren't allowed in due to the corona situation.
Lovely exterior at least.
There was a placard on the wall explaining the estimated age of the building and the name of the establishment.
The other buildings around there weren't too shabby either.
So, I found a table outside and ordered plowman's lunch and sugar free lemonade. I got my food, which was delicious, and started stuffing face. When I had just two bites left, the heavens opened, and rain started falling in tropical mode.
Ready to tuck in.
Noooo! Rain!
Getting drenched.
I got up and tried to stand under the small overhang of the building, but to little avail. However, I did see possibly the most English image I shall ever see: At the table next to mine were an English couple who had simply opened up an umbrella and were continuing to drink their tea while carnage ensued around them.
I started laughing and told them they were the most English thing I'd ever seen, and they laughed and agreed that it WAS very English. The stoic way in which they took their fate, making the best of a bad situation, stiff upper lip, musn't grumble, etc, etc. It's why the Krauts could never break their spirit during the war and I so love this little island.
Afterwards, I drove out to Kenilworth Castle where I felt I spent more time standing in line than inside the actual grounds. I'm exaggerating, but the sheer stupidity of their queueing system was such that it made me angry and turned me sour on the whole experience. I left after maybe 15-20 minutes.
The keep didn't look too shabby from a certain angle.
Upon closer inspection, however...
The outer wall.
The garden was ok as these things go.
They also had some impressive trees.
The keep from another angle.
I don't remember what this more modern building was for, but they had nice flowers outside.
The stables. Now housing souvenir shop & cafe.
Anyway, the castle was in ruins and although it was reputedly a place to rival Warwick back in the day, it was a pale shadow now. I got in my car and drove off to High Wycombe, where I was to spend the next two nights.
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