Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Eaten alive
Just a quick post to ensure all of you envious mortals out there that my stay in Thailand isn't all roses and fluff. For a couple of days this weekend I was eaten alive by mosquitoes, and being incurably stupid I've scratched some of the bites to where my skin was just a bloody lump of pain. I'm slowly improving, to where it no longer hurts to put on pants or even just to walk.
Disappointed
As I've alluded to before, Thai food is generally very good. I'd advise you to stay clear of some of the frozen dinners here, though. One teensy weensy example here, a chicken & rice thingy I bought, in the naive hope that the delicious picture on the package had any resemblance to what was actually in there.
FAIL.
The rice wasn't just sticky, it was one inseparable lump of glue, both in texture and taste. The chicken was rubberlike in texture and blah in taste. Sigh.
FAIL.
The rice wasn't just sticky, it was one inseparable lump of glue, both in texture and taste. The chicken was rubberlike in texture and blah in taste. Sigh.
Quote of the Day
The typical American of today has lost all the love of liberty, that his forefathers had, and all their disgust of emotion, and pride in self- reliance. He is led no longer by Davy Crocketts; he is led by cheer leaders, press agents, word mongers, uplifters.
- Henry L. Mencken
- Henry L. Mencken
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Quote of the Day
Democracy is a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
- H.L. Mencken
- H.L. Mencken
Monday, February 27, 2012
Quote of the Day
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
- H. L. Mencken
- H. L. Mencken
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Quote of the Day
God hated the world so much that he sent his only son so that whoever does not believe in him will perish and be denied eternal life.
- Unknown
- Unknown
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Fourlegged houseguests
No, I'm not talking about the little newts that still crawl around and make funny noises, nor the cockroaches who still scuttle around from time to time. I'm talking about kitties. Purdy lil' kittikats, who ah lubs, lubs, lubs.
Yesterday the first one appeared at the end of the porch, after dark. It was rather shy and kept its distance, but when I went inside and poured a small saucer with milk it came out to drink it. The cat also ate the rolled up slice of sausage I threw its way.
Today I saw the same cat (or so I thought) and went to pour milk in the saucer again and throw it another slice of sausage. I stood back and watched it stuff its little face, happy to see a fed cat. Imagine my surprise when I saw another one, almost identical come out of the shadows. This one was smaller, and just a wee bit lighter in the face, otherwise they were almost alike. This last arrival was the one I had fed yesterday.
Later in the day I saw a third cat, a small striped one, and this evening all three came up to us when we were sitting outside, just shootin' the breeze. First it was the biggest of the two identical ones and the small striped one. They were a bit cautious at first, but when I offered them sliced sausage they soon ate from my hand. My uncle went in and fetched some of the remains of our grilled meat dinner and soon the little darlings were stuffing their little snouts with pieces of beef and chicken we tore up and handed to them.
They were not at all skinny looking, yet they were eating like they'd never tasted food before, so I'm guessing this wasn't their usual fare. The little striped one was actually hiccuping towards the end. The third one (the first I had fed) also came sneaking up, but he was much more shy than the other two and would not eat from my hand; I had to throw the pieces to him, and at first he would drag them with him some ways off to eat. He never came close enough for me to touch, while the two others were rubbing against our legs and even rolling around in the case of the striped one.
I got in some pics, and I'm pretty sure they'll be back tomorrow, so stay tuned.
Little Stripey was the smallest, but also the most sociable of the three. Here he's examining the badminton set.
He would pose for the camera...
...and was very playful, jumping after mosquitos.
Playing with my uncle's hand.
The biggest of the two almost identical ones. We theorized that she may have been the mother, and the two smaller ones her kittens. She seemed quite content to lay under our chairs; this was a position she would take up several times.
This was the smaller one. I took this picture on Thursday.
Here he is again tonight. He's by far the most shy and nervous of them. He has an injury of some sort to his tail; it's bent double towards the end, giving the impression that it's shorter. I guess that may explain why he's more shy.
I had to throw him the food, which he wolfed down as fast as he could, poor little thing.
Yesterday the first one appeared at the end of the porch, after dark. It was rather shy and kept its distance, but when I went inside and poured a small saucer with milk it came out to drink it. The cat also ate the rolled up slice of sausage I threw its way.
Today I saw the same cat (or so I thought) and went to pour milk in the saucer again and throw it another slice of sausage. I stood back and watched it stuff its little face, happy to see a fed cat. Imagine my surprise when I saw another one, almost identical come out of the shadows. This one was smaller, and just a wee bit lighter in the face, otherwise they were almost alike. This last arrival was the one I had fed yesterday.
Later in the day I saw a third cat, a small striped one, and this evening all three came up to us when we were sitting outside, just shootin' the breeze. First it was the biggest of the two identical ones and the small striped one. They were a bit cautious at first, but when I offered them sliced sausage they soon ate from my hand. My uncle went in and fetched some of the remains of our grilled meat dinner and soon the little darlings were stuffing their little snouts with pieces of beef and chicken we tore up and handed to them.
They were not at all skinny looking, yet they were eating like they'd never tasted food before, so I'm guessing this wasn't their usual fare. The little striped one was actually hiccuping towards the end. The third one (the first I had fed) also came sneaking up, but he was much more shy than the other two and would not eat from my hand; I had to throw the pieces to him, and at first he would drag them with him some ways off to eat. He never came close enough for me to touch, while the two others were rubbing against our legs and even rolling around in the case of the striped one.
I got in some pics, and I'm pretty sure they'll be back tomorrow, so stay tuned.
Little Stripey was the smallest, but also the most sociable of the three. Here he's examining the badminton set.
He would pose for the camera...
...and was very playful, jumping after mosquitos.
Playing with my uncle's hand.
The biggest of the two almost identical ones. We theorized that she may have been the mother, and the two smaller ones her kittens. She seemed quite content to lay under our chairs; this was a position she would take up several times.
This was the smaller one. I took this picture on Thursday.
Here he is again tonight. He's by far the most shy and nervous of them. He has an injury of some sort to his tail; it's bent double towards the end, giving the impression that it's shorter. I guess that may explain why he's more shy.
I had to throw him the food, which he wolfed down as fast as he could, poor little thing.
Why they call it Monkey Mountain
The reason the place is called Monkey Mountain is because it's some sort of monkey sanctuary. When you get a little way up the hill, you'll see them everywhere - small, large, some with their babies hanging under their bellies. Some look interested, some bored and yet others downright hostile. Quite often they're engaged in behavior that appears very much human in nature, such as opening bottles or peeling fruit. Other times they're chasing their own tails and you realize they're just glorified Swedes.
"What's this, then?"
"Sniff, sniff"
This little fella was playing with a rock.
Kaew bought a bucket of fruit, which was met with immediate and enthusiastic approval by all monkeys here gathered.
This one was already hooked on beer.
Stuffing face.
Two little charmers. Dogs beat monkeys every time.
I have no earthly clue what these giant, plastic dinosaurs had to do with either the monkeys or the Buddhist temple. You'll see a lot of stuff in Thailand that jars something awful with western senses. Or common sense, as it's also called.
"What's this, then?"
"Sniff, sniff"
This little fella was playing with a rock.
Kaew bought a bucket of fruit, which was met with immediate and enthusiastic approval by all monkeys here gathered.
This one was already hooked on beer.
Stuffing face.
Two little charmers. Dogs beat monkeys every time.
I have no earthly clue what these giant, plastic dinosaurs had to do with either the monkeys or the Buddhist temple. You'll see a lot of stuff in Thailand that jars something awful with western senses. Or common sense, as it's also called.
Buddha says...
I think there are at least two Buddhist temples out at Monkey Mountain. We went up to one of them, climbing high up on tall steps. The sun was baking hot, and I was ready to have a heart attack when I got up there. The "temple" wasn't much, and they were trying to suck as much money as possible out of believers and non-believers alike. There were several boxes both inside and outside where you could donate, and they actually had some glass displays of stuff you could buy inside the fuckin' prayer room. Now, that's some hardcore mix of church and mammon!
All pics here.
So...many...steps...to...climb...
Some sourfaced statue at the bottom of the stairs. I thought Buddha was supposed to smile?
Religious display or extremely elaborate dollhouse? You be the judge.
The charming tackiness that is Thailand incarnate.
Heathen mumbo jumbo house.
Bells. Apparently you're supposed to pay good money to walk around and gently touch each one. I might consider forking up a few hundred to bang away with a proper baseball bat.
The temple had one redeeming feature - nice views over Hua Hin.
All pics here.
So...many...steps...to...climb...
Some sourfaced statue at the bottom of the stairs. I thought Buddha was supposed to smile?
Religious display or extremely elaborate dollhouse? You be the judge.
The charming tackiness that is Thailand incarnate.
Heathen mumbo jumbo house.
Bells. Apparently you're supposed to pay good money to walk around and gently touch each one. I might consider forking up a few hundred to bang away with a proper baseball bat.
The temple had one redeeming feature - nice views over Hua Hin.
Stuffing face at Monkey Mountain
Today, we finally managed to get our asses out to Monkey Mountain, to the south of Hua Hin. After the visit we lunched in one of the ramshackle establishments along the way; I swear the floor was sloping towards the canal, where the water was anything but inviting. I'm skeptical, bordering on hostile towards anything that chooses to live in the water, so I ordered prawn and rice, the least watery dish they had as far as I could see.
Kaew first ordered rice and some oysters. Apparently, the oysters come in a sauce that's so strong it will make a grown western man cry.
She then got a huge platter of crab. I don't know how these tiny Thais are able to put so much food away.
The other three got proper prawns and rice.
They had tanks like these up front, filled with live fish, prawns, crabs, etc.
Kaew first ordered rice and some oysters. Apparently, the oysters come in a sauce that's so strong it will make a grown western man cry.
She then got a huge platter of crab. I don't know how these tiny Thais are able to put so much food away.
The other three got proper prawns and rice.
They had tanks like these up front, filled with live fish, prawns, crabs, etc.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The Evidence
I went home early last night, while the rest of the bunch went out to do the bar/karaoke circuit - even though we were supposed to go to a monastery to the south of town today. I heard them come tumbling in around 3.30 this morning, drunk as skunks. I stuffed the earplugs deeper into my ears and went back to sleep.
Imagine my surprise when I got up around 10 and found my brother and uncle still awake, sitting outside, kickin' back beers and shootin' the breeze. They were at it till around 1PM. Friday I'm going down to the monastery and getting in some pics, regardless of whether the rest of this sorry bunch is conscious or not.
What the two consumed last night/this morning:
Imagine my surprise when I got up around 10 and found my brother and uncle still awake, sitting outside, kickin' back beers and shootin' the breeze. They were at it till around 1PM. Friday I'm going down to the monastery and getting in some pics, regardless of whether the rest of this sorry bunch is conscious or not.
What the two consumed last night/this morning:
Family and associated rubble
You'll have a better understanding of why I am the psychotic wreck I am after viewing these pictures.
My brother, looking retarded as usual.
My brother's girlfriend, Kaew.
My uncle, also looking his usual, retarded self.
My uncle's girlfriend, Olivia.
My brother, looking retarded as usual.
My brother's girlfriend, Kaew.
My uncle, also looking his usual, retarded self.
My uncle's girlfriend, Olivia.
Hua Hin at night
Just a quick report on the town at night... Hua Hin is a city of close to 100,000 people - at least that's the official number. There are eating places, pubs and massage parlors just about everywhere you look here, and it seems people are living their public lives on the streets to a whole other degree than us Norwegians. This could of course have something to do with the fact that Thailand isn't covered with fuckin snow 3/4 of the year...
Anyway, some pics...
Wine of the Moth. Hehehehe.
This is the third and so far best duck I've had down here. I'm eating my way through Duckburg.
These littlebirdhouses temples can be found outside a lot of shops here. Heathen mumbo-jumbo.
I was too afraid of the answer to ask what this was.
You'll never walk alone. Liverpool forever.
There are tons of restaurants with connections to other parts of the world. We ate at a "French" brasserie, but this one had a Swiss flag outside (it's the second Swiss restaurant I've seen down here). There's also "Old Germany" (complete with Wehrmacht uniforms and a gas chamber).
There are lots of Scandinavians down here, and various eating and drinking places have sprung up to cater to their tastes. You can hear fuckin' Swedish all the time on the streets. Ugh.
Can't argue with this guy's advertising. Definitely under a million burgers sold.
Some random architecture.
There are Thai girls of both genders hanging around outside almost every drinking place. They're not as pushy as in Bangkok or Pattaya, thank Jebus.
Anyway, some pics...
Wine of the Moth. Hehehehe.
This is the third and so far best duck I've had down here. I'm eating my way through Duckburg.
These little
I was too afraid of the answer to ask what this was.
You'll never walk alone. Liverpool forever.
There are tons of restaurants with connections to other parts of the world. We ate at a "French" brasserie, but this one had a Swiss flag outside (it's the second Swiss restaurant I've seen down here). There's also "Old Germany" (complete with Wehrmacht uniforms and a gas chamber).
There are lots of Scandinavians down here, and various eating and drinking places have sprung up to cater to their tastes. You can hear fuckin' Swedish all the time on the streets. Ugh.
Can't argue with this guy's advertising. Definitely under a million burgers sold.
Some random architecture.
There are Thai girls of both genders hanging around outside almost every drinking place. They're not as pushy as in Bangkok or Pattaya, thank Jebus.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Rituals
We've established a few rituals in this house that, while no doubt sick and twisted to the uninitated, suffice to keep the general order and provides for the common good for us. Chief among these is the Crowing of the Rubber Chicken. Pretty much every time someone passes the table where the two lie, there's the long, drawn out sound of a sick cow - I can think of no better way to describe it.
Another dear ritual is the Drowning of the Swimmer. Every time someone's in the pool, someone else will pick up the powerful water gun and drench the poor bastard swimming. That gun is one of the best investments I've ever made, btw, the water stream after a couple of pumps is like having a garden hose aimed at you.
The third ritual that merits a mention is that we now start just about every international conversation with "Buddha says". The story behind this is, as usual, a conversation between my brother and his gf. He slapped her ass, she hit him on the shoulder, where he was sunburned and he joked "hurting me doesn't make you feel better, what do you think Buddha would say?" and she glared at him and said "Buddha say when someone hit you, hit them back". This has led to much good-natured ribbing from the rest of us, to the point that Buddha is now invoked regularly when we make any statement in English.
Another dear ritual is the Drowning of the Swimmer. Every time someone's in the pool, someone else will pick up the powerful water gun and drench the poor bastard swimming. That gun is one of the best investments I've ever made, btw, the water stream after a couple of pumps is like having a garden hose aimed at you.
The third ritual that merits a mention is that we now start just about every international conversation with "Buddha says". The story behind this is, as usual, a conversation between my brother and his gf. He slapped her ass, she hit him on the shoulder, where he was sunburned and he joked "hurting me doesn't make you feel better, what do you think Buddha would say?" and she glared at him and said "Buddha say when someone hit you, hit them back". This has led to much good-natured ribbing from the rest of us, to the point that Buddha is now invoked regularly when we make any statement in English.
Quote of the Day
The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing more important to do.
- Unknown
- Unknown
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Family reunion in Babel
In addition to my brother and his Thai girlfriend, I'm now hosting my uncle and his Brazilian girlfriend. I don't think I've seen my uncle in 5-6 years, since he's been abroad quite a lot. We just stuffed face on another of Kaew's tasty chicken dishes, while the talk around the table went on in Norwegian, English, Thai and Portuguese. It's all good.
Us guys then went up to the tiny shack of a store across the road and foraged for soda (me) and beer (the others). There was talk about taking the food out of the fridge to fill it with beer, but fortunately I stopped this... anyway, this is promising to be a fun week!
Us guys then went up to the tiny shack of a store across the road and foraged for soda (me) and beer (the others). There was talk about taking the food out of the fridge to fill it with beer, but fortunately I stopped this... anyway, this is promising to be a fun week!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sick and disturbing
Yours truly with the rubber chicken I bought earlier today at Tesco.
Trouble in paradise!
Threesome! Wooo hoooo!
Trouble in paradise!
Threesome! Wooo hoooo!
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