Rituals

We've established a few rituals in this house that, while no doubt sick and twisted to the uninitated, suffice to keep the general order and provides for the common good for us. Chief among these is the Crowing of the Rubber Chicken. Pretty much every time someone passes the table where the two lie, there's the long, drawn out sound of a sick cow - I can think of no better way to describe it.

Another dear ritual is the Drowning of the Swimmer. Every time someone's in the pool, someone else will pick up the powerful water gun and drench the poor bastard swimming. That gun is one of the best investments I've ever made, btw, the water stream after a couple of pumps is like having a garden hose aimed at you.

The third ritual that merits a mention is that we now start just about every international conversation with "Buddha says". The story behind this is, as usual, a conversation between my brother and his gf. He slapped her ass, she hit him on the shoulder, where he was sunburned and he joked "hurting me doesn't make you feel better, what do you think Buddha would say?" and she glared at him and said "Buddha say when someone hit you, hit them back". This has led to much good-natured ribbing from the rest of us, to the point that Buddha is now invoked regularly when we make any statement in English.