I'm coming home

Going to Prague for Fall break, September 25-October 4th. Just saying.

Boycotting Scotland

It is with a heavy heart that I hereby announce my personal boycott of all things Scottish until the current terrorist appeasers have been removed from office, which hopefully should happen in early May 2011 at the very latest. I was actually pondering a trip for fall break, but no longer. One would expect nothing better from the French and the Italians, but it is heartbreaking to watch the land of William Wallace appeasing a bunch of insane, murderous camel molesters like the Libyans.

Exit Prague

So here I am, just killing time before I have to fly home to Norway. Still don't want to go home, I like the relaxed life down here, like hanging out in the hostel bar and meet new people every night. Sigh.

Took a walk around the fortifications up at Vysehrad again yesterday, it's a really nice area with great views. Slept much of the afternoon, then a fun night with cool people in the bar. You can find all the pictures from this trip here.

View of the Vltava (Moldau) river and Petrin hill in the distance.


Sweet Jebus, I love this city.


Stuart and Kirsti, a very nice couple from Southampton. Kirsti is a history teacher, so we had lots to talk about.


Me and Stuart + me and Conor, an American who's been living at the hostel for several weeks. Damn funny guy. We harmonise Simon & Garfunkel tunes so well we should really go on the road.


Jana, the Czech girlfriend of Spencer the Bartender. An angel in appearance and mind, although I do manage to get a rise out of her by calling her Heidi and yodel (it's the pigtails).

More from Prague

I keep having such great evenings down here, so many cool people passing through... Danes, Italians, Israelis, Americans... even Krauts! The first weekend I met two really nice German girls; one of them, Marie, had spent time in the US as an exchange student. At the age of 19, this nice, pretty blonde had already traveled to around 40 countries - which is as much as I have at twice that age. Also, I am anything but nice & pretty. I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that she still had a German accent I would probably have had to kill her out of sheer envy. Anyways, we all had a blast as witnessed by the pics below and the two girls were unanimously declared Best Germans Ever by me and the bar staff/regulars.

Two nights ago this crazy New York guy (who's working as a carpenter but actually has three years of English literature from college) gave a semi drunken, profanity filled 15 minute summary of Hamlet that was not just factually right and to the point, but also hilarious. I didn't count, but I'm pretty sure that he used the word "fuck" or varieties thereof more than all previous analysis of Hamlet put together. Yesterday him and the bartender, who's an ex-New Yorker entertained us with insane stories of subway rides, crime, housing, etc, etc.

Tonight I've spent much of my time talking to a couple of really nice Israelis, who had an impressive command of important subjects like Monty Python and Denis Leary and who also had lots of insane stories from their time in the Israeli army (chief amongst them: A top terrorist was actually caught on video by Israeli intelligence while fucking a sheep - and Israeli intelligence along the Lebanese border routinely spot the local Arabs fornicating with donkeys. Where's YouTube when you need it?). I've also impressed by managing to discern Pepsi (evil) from Coke (good) not simply by looking at their foam in the glass, I could even tell the difference when they were almost completely still and bubbleless.

I've also been hanging out with a very funny yank who's something of a stoner, but still smart enough to keep the conversation (mostly) interesting. Full of fun and always with a big grin he feeds us wild ideas and funny stories almost every night. I've also gotten to know the new female bartender, who at age 19 is probably more mature and independent than yours truly, and certainly a good deal more than any of the slackers I teach back home.

Today my boss (not knowing I was abroad) called me to discuss the staff meetings we're having Monday and Tuesday next week. It suddenly brought back to me the sad fact that I'm flying home Sunday and all this will be just a memory. I'm looking forward to seeing my colleagues again, but I'm really, really, really not looking forward to going back to actual work. Is a lottery win really too much to ask for?

Marie the Blonde and Tommy the Bartender + Hanna, the other Best German. I should hasten to add that there are probably images of me in a red fez on some German website right now... and I can't even blame it on alcohol).


Marie and Spencer the bar manager - a really cool New Yorker.


Spencer, Marie and Tommy. Awwww, look at their cute little faces...

Scotland on the Moldau

Absurd day yesterday. On a whim I took the metro up to the lovely Vysehrad area, with its citadel, park, historic cemetary and views over the Moldau. I started out in the cemetary, where I took pics of the graves of Dvorak and Smetana (plus some cheeseburger pics) and then proceeded to walk outside and down towards the river. Suddenly I heard music. It sounded strangely Celtic. I peered up through the holes in the wall, and yes, there were people in there! I ran back up as fast as my stocky little legs and whalelike body allowed to find the 4th Czech Celtic Music Festival in full swing.

Ya'll knows how much ah lubs Scottish folk music, right? So I forked over the 250Kc (€10/$15) for entrance and then spent a happy, sunny Saturday listening to various Czech and Czech/British bands play Irish and Scottish music. The performers were very good and the music was footstomping, I even bought two CDs. The food was greasy, good and cheap and I even bought some souvenirs - a bit of pottery and some drinking horns made from god knows what. The seller didn't speak a word of English, all he could say was "african, african". When I forked over 2,600Kc (€100/$150) for five horns he eagerly shook my hand (that's when I noticed he was missing a finger) and smiled like I'd just donated a kidney. Which, in financial terms, I probably had.

The graves of Dvorak and Smetana, two of the world's finest composers.


You know you want it. I can haz cheeseburger?


Do I want fries with that? Hmmm.


Please, darling... just one more burger!


Ouch, ketchup in my eye!


I told you keep the fuck away from my cheeseburger!


A little known fact about Jesus, is that he was really into rave music.


The Czech band RiRa. They really rocked the joint, so I bought their CD. I tried to get the singer to sign it, but my cunting pen (thanks for the expression, Stef!) chose that moment to die on me.


The Czech band Jauvajs. Bought their CD too. The blonde singer has an angelic voice and the fiddler is a purdy lil' thing.


Stir fried dough, here covered with strawberry jam. You can also put tomato sauce and cheese on them and voila, you've got a makeshift pizza. The Czechs are strange people.


Sunset in color and b&w. Ish nice.

Kutna Hora

On Sunday I went out to the old mining town of Kutna Hora, about an hour east of Prague. Czech trains are cheap, but slow. One funny twist: at the central train station in Prague every announcement over the loudspeakers is heralded by a few tones from Smetana's "Ma Vlast" (of which the famous "Moldau" is a part).

I stayed at the basic but functionable (and cheap!) Hotel Kreta, which also has a Czech restaurant on the 1st floor. I indulged in the traditional Czech dish Svíčková na smetaně - beef with cream - which in addition contains a sweet and sour sauce, some jam and a heap of knedlíky (dumplings). The veggies, to the extent there are any, are overpowered by the meat and the sauce so it's safe fare for a carnivore like me. It's very filling and very yummy although most Czechs seem to believe no foreigner could possibly like it, I usually get a raised eyebrow when I ask for it.

I'd been told by several people that it was a really nice, medieval town but personally I found it to be rather dull in most respects. Some nice old buildings, sure, but nothing you can't find in Prague and on a Sunday evening it's impossible to get a decent meal after 9PM - the only place open was a cafe called Harmonia and they served the worst food I've ever had - a pork steak that was so hard I could barely cut it, much less chew it. Even the fries were horrible. One bright point was a bar - I forget its name, it's on Vladislavova street, right opposite a closed down hotel - that sold the best heated nachos I've ever had. Additionally, the waitress was both stunningly purdy and very nice.

I also have issues with the flexibility of their attractions. The Museum of Czech silver only allowed people to enter in groups and you would have had to book in advance. The next day I tried to see the city museum, but again I could only go with a guide and the next English speaking one was not available for a good 90 minutes. When people are that little interested in getting my money I'd rather spend it in a place where they show some appreciation for it.

I did see the huge Church of St Barbara - patron saint of mine workers - and the somewhat creepy Sedlec Ossuary where you can see various decorations made out of the bones of tens of thousands of corpses. Kutna Hora and its silver industry once rivaled the power of Prague, but today it's barely worth a visit, a day is certainly more than enough.

The chandelier supposedly contains at least one of every bone in the human body.


I see dead people.




After seeing all those skeletons, my appetite was really sharpened - after all, one wouldn't want to become skeletal while still alive, right?


I even indulged in dessert. No point in taking chances!


Some pics of Kutna Hora houses.






Church of St Barbara.


These old churches always have something Hogwarty about them.


The interior.


No church visit would be complete without a few examples of "I can haz cheeseburger" art.




"Gimme a cheeseburger or I drop the towel!"


Lastly, a wtf-moment as I passed by a souvenir shop.


All Kutna Hora pics here.

Prague so far

Sooooooooo... things here in Prague seem to follow the old pattern. I stay in the bar till the wee hours, and even if I don't the drunken kraut teens roaming the hallways will ensure I don't fall asleep till 4-5 AM. I muster up the stamina to walk maybe an hour in town, then go back to nap, then have dinner and go hang in the bar again. Sad thing is, I love it like this.

I've made some new friends, both among the staff (new, female bartender!) and the guests... Saturday I even got to plug my mp3 player into the sound system and play DJ for most of the evening. I was heavy on the Springsteen, but also had a good mix of rock and oldies - U2, Creedence, Tom Petty, Rainmakers etc. Had a blast!

The chocolates I brought from Norway (5.5kg=12 pounds) are a sure and easy way of making friends. People who've tasted the stuff before are crazy for it, and I have no problems getting new people hooked. I need to email the producers back in Norway and tell them to go international, the response I'm getting from people down here is just incredible.

Some pics, mainly from Mala Strana (plus a sunset from Holesovice, just outside the hotel):

Pretty streets and buildings everywhere.


I'm not a fan of modern art, but on the other hand I very much feel you can't go wrong with penguins.


Purdiness everywhere.






This is the tower at the trade fair. Looks like a Martian spaceship or something...




Full Prague set here, more pics will be added.