Battle Village

After Hastings I drove out to the village of Battle, a small, very touristy settlement a few miles northwest of Hastings. It originally sprang up to serve the abbey that William the Conqueror built in atonement for his wholesale slaughter of the English a few years before. Sorta like if Hitler had built a lot of roads to make up for... oh, wait... never mind. Of course, the English would have been MUCH better off if the Norwegians had beaten them at Stamford Bridge a few weeks earlier. Just sayin'.

All pics from Battle here.

Nice, but very touristy.


According to tradition (another way of calling "bullshit") the English king Harold Goodwinson died here, and the high altar of the abbey was built over the site. The abbey was reduced to its present state of rubble during the Dissolution of the monasteries under that magnificently brilliant fuck Henry VIII.


The low building to the left is where the monks shat. Just thought you'd like to know.


Apparently the battle was won by the Normans through a tactic wherein they feigned retreat, only to turn around and attack the pursuing Anglo-Saxons, whose lines were by then stretched out. This happened several times during the day. Honestly, that's the dirtiest trick ever; who expects the FRENCH to fight?


The battlefield. Perhaps the most ENGLISH landscape I've ever seen.


The great gatehouse, which was rebuilt sometime in the 14th century houses a shop and a small museum.


I can't remember the name of this place, but it was just across the road from the abbey. I had lunch there, and let me tell you: Whatever you do, DON'T have the hamburger. There was a sign saying the building was from c. 1420, and the meat can't have been much younger.