More xmas travels

As previously mentioned I'm challenging fate by ordering a trip during Christmas (I always seem to come down with something when I do). Now I've upped the stakes by expanding my plans. I'm still flying to Rome Dec 19, but instead of flying home on the 26th I'm flying to Prague, which may very well be the purdiest city in the world. I'm flying home Jan 1. In Prague I'll be hooking up with my Ukrainian friend Nata, who's there with her boyfriend (I think their trip overlaps mine by 3 days). Ya'll are warned!

I wish me a merry Christmas...

I've made many brilliant decisions in my life, but I do believe the shmartest of them all was when I stopped celebrating Christmas, back in '92. I've had stress free Decembers for 15 years now, and I ain't goin' back. On the other hand, every day is pamper myself day, so this morning I bought the complete Seinfeld DVD box and the Twin Peaks Gold Box Edition AND Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl to top it off. Earlier this month I got me a signed copy of Absolute Sandman, volume two plus new books by Stephen Donaldson and Terry Pratchett. Life is good, people. Life is good.

Happy New Year, fans!

In Memoriam (excerpt)

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more;
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease;
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

- Alfred Tennyson

Christmas comes again

Christmas is multiorgasmic this year (and if that image is not enough to ruin the rest of the holidays for you, then I haven't done my job properly).

Not only did I buy the latest semi-autobiography by Bill Bryson today (titled "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid"), but when I got home I found a huge parcel on my doorstep. I unwrapped the several layers of packaging with greedy, trembling hands to uncover my precious loot: A leatherbound, signed copy of "The Absolute Sandman", Volume 1. It contains the 20 first issues of Sandman and it's absolutely brilliant in every way.

Guess my pupils will have to wait another week to have their papers and tests graded, muahahahaha!

Christmas comes early

Those (poor souls) who know me, know that I have a somewhat strained relationship with Christmas and all things related to said holiday. I'm no Christian and I don't share a smidgeon of the ideological basis for the celebrations. And I have nothing but scorn and contempt for the contemporary hoopla surrounding it.

Still, I'm a great believer in pampering myself (don't - for the sake of your own mental health and that of your children please don't - take the expression literally, much less attempt to envision it!), so I went browsing in a bookstore in Oslo today. And lo & behold, what did I find but new books by three of my favorite writers! My grubby, little hands are currently clutching copies of the following: "Fragile Things", a collection of short stories by Neil Gaiman, "Wintersmith", a new Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett and "Blue Shoes and Happiness", the latest installment in the thoroughly enjoyable "No 1 Ladies' Detective Agency" series by Alexander McCall Smith. As if that wasn't enough I also got an illustrated Pratchett book called "The Art of Discworld". Throw in a very cool looking book called "Historical Atlas of the United States", and you can imagine my mental state at this moment. In addition, I simply forgot to buy a new semi-autobiographical book by Bill Bryson that I saw in the shop, so that's also waiting for me down the line. Life is goooood!

Another church sign from hell

Happy holidays... muahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Forza Italia!

Well, at least ONE aspect of the Christmas spirit seems to have caught me: I'm spending money like a drunken sailor.

Today, I bought a language course in Italian. It cost me almost $100.

Now, I've always loved opera, and Italy has plenty of interesting history, culture, cuisine etc, but to learn the actual language? My credo has always been that anything worth reading exists in an English translation and that anyone who does not speak English is, by definition, not worth my time anyway.

Only time can tell if I'll actually follow through on this or if the course will simply gather dust on a shelf... the odds are 50-50 at best.

Santa's elves are unionizing

It's true.

Expect your Christmas gifts to arrive sometime in February from now on...

Surrender monkeys rob Santa

Delighted at finally finding someone they could fight and win, French teenagers have robbed Santa Clause. Way to go, frogs!

Merry fuckin xmas

Went to the dentist today. $120 poorer, a numb jaw and the taste of tranquilizer in my mouth. Ho ho ho.

Happy Roman Sun God Celebration

The nuttier wing of the Jesus crowd are pissed that "christ" is being taken out of Christmas. Apparently, many businesses have started to wish their customers a "happy holiday" instead of "merry Christmas", and this has got some people riled. Some of the sane, informed quotes by the nutties:

- "Our position is: If they want the gold, frankincense and myrrh, they should acknowledge the birth of the child," said Wooden, pastor of the Upper Room Church of God in Christ."

We here at the Lower Closet Library of Common Knowledge learned years ago that "Christmas" is celebrated because the early Christians stole the various non-Christian days of celebration to ease the transition of a "heathen" population into a new faith. Hence, the birth of Christ was fixed by the Roman Church at Dec 25, the date of the celebration of the old Roman sun festival, "Sol Invictus", which predated Christianity by centuries. If Jesus was born at a time when shepherds could be found in the fields, it was probably in late spring. It's not that I would put any weight on what the gospels tell us, I just thought maybe a pastor would.


- "It's not so much an attack on us. It's an attack on Christ."

If Christ exists, he's more than 2,000 years old now. That means he's old enough to fend for himself, unless he's a Euro-wuss.


- "There's one group of people who get bullied all the time, and that's Christians," he said. "I know what it is like to be bullied. It is apartheid in reverse — the majority is being bullied by the minority."

A just turn of events, if only it were true. Personally, I'd welcome back the lions.