A day trip back home

Saturday 13th, I drove down to my old hometown of Hønefoss, to stuff face with some old friends and to witness my brother hollering at an outside pizza restaurant right next to the building my grandparents owned when I was little. To the best of my knowledge, it still carries my family name.

My old friend Per Magnus and his magnificent girlfriend, Nui. They met at a shooting competition in Thailand a couple of years back and she's temporarily stuck in Norway due to the corona crisis. She keeps busy feeding him all this yummy Thai food and I can only look on in silent despair at their Facebook posts. Mmmmmm, Thai food.


This picture was taken at 11:15PM Saturday night. That big ole building is my old elementary school, where I attended 3rd through 6th grade (this was back when the compulsory part of school was only nine years in Norway). The school is closing this year, although they may use it next year too iffin the corona virus is still a threat. Look at how LIGHT it is...


This pic was taken on the road back to Dokka just past midnight. I love Norwegian summer nights.

How I broke my ankle

So, I'm finally home from what should have been a half hour routine check-up with my nephrologist (or kidney doctor for stoopid yanks) at Lillehammer hospital, but turned out to be a long day being shipped up and down between doctors, the x-ray machine (3 times!) and more doctors. And lots of wrinkly, ugly, old nurses; not even the hot kind. Meh. The only good thing that happened all day was when I was waiting to take a blood test (for the kidneys) and a young lady with a small kid went in before me and the noises that came out of that office sounded more like a bunch of wildcats fighting than a human child. For all I know, her head spun round and she projectile vomited dark blood.

Anyway, to recap: I slipped on the ice outside McDonalds, parked at the hospital, limped in and had my half hour, was sent up to x-ray which looked like a fracture, was sent down to orthopedic and promptly sent back up to x-ray to get better pics, then down again to get a slight cast around my ankle, up to x-ray to confirm that the cast was placed right relative to the injury, then down to orthopedic yet again, where they explained to me how to use crutches, which I've never used before.

In between all this there was endless waiting, which allowed me to finally, but fucking finally understand WHY people sit on their little smartphones all day and I gave thanks to Bob the Rain God that I had finally gotten one. I emailed my landlady and my boss and posted updates and insults on FB.

It was almost like being in a very slow, cumbersome version of home; like an Amish Facebook user, with my tongue sticking ever so slightly out of the corner of my mouth as my sausage fingers searched for the right button to push and by mistake pushed the one beside instead. Yeah, that happened. A lot. But I managed, and now I am back to my dear laptop with its large keyboard and screen.

"But what happened with the ole' leg", I hear you say, for I frequently hear voices and they're not always screaming for the blood of innocents. Well, the slight cast I have on now will probaby go off in a week, to be replaced by a proper, harder cast. At the same time they will also do a CT-scan of the leg and even make a decision on whether to operate or just leave it to grow of its own accord.

The doc in orthopedics told me that due to my diabetes-related neuropathy, there was good news and bad news. On the bright side, I won't feel as much pain as I normally would. On the not so bright side I will heal more slowly. Which brings me to a potentially big problem; estimated time I have to have a fucking cast on, precluding moi driving my beloved automobile, indeed any automobile at all, is 9 weeks versus normally 5-6.

We'll have to wait and see how the injury heals, but I was supposed to go to Scotland to chaufeur a couple of Californians around on April 17th. Iffin that 9-week time table still stands, there are two possibilities; either I need to arrange for a hand-controlled handicap car or a certain Californian needs to learn how to drive on the left.

I was sent home by taxi tonight - almost an hour's drive to the tune of appx 2500 NOK/300 USD, of which I personally paid a measly 149 NOK/17 USD. The rest is paid for by all you Norwegian readers through your taxes; a heartfelt thanks!

The walk from the courtyard along the garage and round to my entrance was almost too much and I would not have made it if not for the support of the taxi driver. I almost fell several times and the actual steps up to my apartment turned out to be too much for my crutches and my by now worn out left leg, which had had to bear the brunt of the struggles. I had to use my right leg for support even though I'm really not supposed to put any stress on it the first week. My landlady very kindly helped me with getting seated and brought me drink and medicines and stuff, but I already fear getting up and doing even the simplest things, like making a sandwich or *shudder* going to the bathroom.

Tomorrow I need to call my primary physician to write me a sick note for work and also I must contact the municipal authorities to hear what types of aids they can offer me, like maybe a walker. I foresee several weeks of cumbersome shittiness, medical mistakes interspersed with hours of tedious waiting and not least lots and lots of pain, glorious pain. I want a blanket, hot cocoa and sympathy, knowing full well that y'all are gonna rip me to shreads for being a whiny bitch who should have just gnawed off my leg and gotten on with it.

Happy Festivus!

The ways in which the world has let me down this year are too numerous to list in detail, so I'll just state here that I'm not angry, just very, very disappointed and leave it at that.

I's got a new job!

Got a new job teaching at a high school almost two hours north of where I currently live. Interviewed for it Thursday and the area seemed very nice, as did my future co-workers. Things be looking up, dawg.

We apologize for the inconvenience...

Due to a soulcrushing lack of travel, this blog has slowly turned into a pure quote machine lately. That was not my intention, so I'mma try to liven things up a bit here. First, the good news... I've finally decided to at least use my time as an unemployed slob to try and lose some weight and get my blood sugar levels under 7.0 again.

Score success on both counts, as I had 6.9 at the doc's yesterday (against 8.9 three monts ago) and weighed in at 112.5 kg this morning. I hope to be back at my lowest in over ten years by reaching the much glorified 106.4 kg, which I attained in September 2011. Yes, money is not the only thing I've squandered these past 18 months...

On the downside I'm now in the market looking for a job. I'm a teacher by training, so that's where I'm looking first, and I've decided to try and go back to my old high school in the fall (I'm desperately looking for their job ads in the local paper every day... they're late). They've got a new principal and are in the process of rebuilding, so maybe things will be better than they were the last few years of my previous employment there. Also, there's nothing like a 3 year break to get the old motivation going again... wheeeeee!

Some facebook stats

Some numbers to close out the year... I have 120 "friends" over on Facebook. Of these, 45 are women while 75 are men (assuming they all are who they say they are). I have personally met 115 of them, while 5 are accepted more or less on faith. They could be aliens or figments of my imagination for all I know.

There is a surprisingly high number of Lutefisk eaters among them; 93. There are 27 unwashed, garlicky foreigners out to get Norwegian jobs & women; 15 from the USA, 2 from England, 2 from Ukraina and 2 from Sweden. Canada, Israel, Poland, Russia, Switzerland and Thailand have 1 each.

I wonder how much will have changed a year from now.

Insanity

Remember the incident where I got reamed in the ass last August? Some woman in a jeep/SUV plowed into the back of my car in Oregon, and I had to change vehicles north of Eureka, even though all that was wrong was the safety belt had twisted itself and there was a small dent in the back bumper... yeah, that incident.

I got word from her insurance guy yesterday that he'd cut a check to Hertz for almost 12,000 dollars. They had totaled the vehicle for that little dent. My head is spinning with the sheer insanity of it. The insurance agent agreed, but according to him new parts were so expensive they would cost more than the car was worth. I wonder how much that poor woman's insurance premium has gone up after the incident.

For your viewing pleasure - the dent that wrecked a perfectly good Jetta:

Loot

As per usual, I've amassed some STUFF on this trip. Leather coat & hat, some posters, some presidential knives and some writing related goodies. Behold:

Writing stuff - ink and pens, wonderfully executed.


Notebook in handmade paper, with buffalo skin wrapping.


Presidential knives. One of Reagan and one of Bush II. I stood for a long time and thought about this purchase. Ronnie is the most historically interesting, but 'W' would piss off the right (meaning the wrong) people. So I bought both.


Military posters.


Barry. *sniff*


The coat is a bit longer than the jacket I already have.


And a nice leather hat to go with the filt hat I bought in Albuquerque.

How Green Was My Valley

Tuesday, I came upon a scene so stunningly beautiful I just had to stop and put it on camera. The only angle from which you can see the whole setting is as you fly by in a car, so I had to pull over and get out to take the pics. Imagine then, as you view these photos, yours truly placed on a huge stone block, toes curling with joy over what I see. The only sounds are those of birds chirping and the faint gurgle of the little stream way down below.

It is indeed a scene of tranquility, of serene, nay exalted enjoyment of nature at its very finest. Oh, how I wish I could live in a little house under that bridge. Or maybe on the corner of the two valleys so I could look down both. I'll always treasure this view, and keep it as yet another fond memory from this journey.

Bridge? Check. Rocks? Check. Pine trees? Check. Grass? Check. Stream? Check.


Sigh.


Double sigh.


This is from an area appx 30 seconds before, which also is a strong contender for most beautiful place in the world.

How I ended up in the ER

It's not quite as dramatic as it sounds. For the past couple of days I've had a feeling like something has lodged in my right ear, and it's been getting worse. It's only painful if I do something that alters the blood pressure, like bending down but otherwise it's just bloody annoying.

Monday night I had problems getting to sleep over it, so I asked the night clerk at Motel 6, and he directed me to something called Medcenter One, in downtown Bismarck. I went down there and had to give some info and sign some papers, but nothing much different from what I would have done back home.

I was led in to a room where a nurse looked into my ears with some kind of contraption. I made a joke about her being able to see clear through, which got a laugh from the very cute attending doctor, who then unfortunately went some other place (I swear, this girl could have had a starring role on Scrubs). Instead another doc came and looked into my ear and said it was full of fluids and that I had an infection.

He was surprised when he heard I was from Norway, but then took off his ID and showed it to me and said "what do you think of that?". His last name was Haslestad; as Norwegian a name as you can imagine, and he told me he was 4th or 5th generation. I swear, the Dakotas are crawling with us people. He then wrote me two prescriptions and told me I could get them filled at the hospital pharmacy.

The only thing I had to pay for then and there was the medication, which ran me a grand total of $30. Everybody I met, from the nurse at the ER reception to the pharmacist who gave me my meds were thoroughly nice and professional. I'm now basically on antibiotics and some anticongestion drug for a week. The ear is still annoying me but now that I know what it is, I no longer feel a desperate urge to stab myself with a pencil or anything, so in that respect one might say I'm already feeling better...

A poorer, but honest Ghost

Soooo... today I started my long, sad trek down through the inbred backwaters of South Carolina. To recapitulate: Saturday I was given a $100 dollar fine for doing 85 mph in a 70 zone, and when it turned out I didn't have that kind of money on me, in cash, the state trooper slapped an additional $85 on it and gave me a ticket, which I at first read as a summons to a court. I had decoded the atrocius handwriting of the trooper sufficiently to get a zip code, and thereby a city name. I needed to pay the ticket in Moncks Corner, SC, which is pretty exactly in the middle of fuck all.

When I came to the courthouse there was a sign that warned me not to take any guns, knives, cameras, recording devices and, for all I know, clothes, jewelry and peppermints into the building. I had to go through a metal detector, but at least they only held my cannister of pepper spray; I got it back afterwards, this being a free country where people are allowed to defend themselves.

At the counter I may have done something supremely stupid. The lady at first fidgeted for a while with my credit card, but since I had no American zip code, she couldn't accept it, so I had to fork over cash. And then she asked me for 25 dollars. Dumb, gullible, naive, hopelessly Lutheran, Norwegian me immediately corrected her and pointed out that the ticket said $185. As she looked it over again and discovered that she had punched in the wrong offense, it dawned on me that I had willingly given away $160 dollars. Well, South Carolina... all I can say is, use the money wisely and don't spend it all at once. No booze or tobacco, I'll be watching you!

I'm going to go curl up in the shower now and cry for a few hours over my lost money, but I'll leave you with this picture as an example of what passes for humor down here.

Natural Born Killer

So. This Tuesday I finally fired my first proper handgun, with live ammunition and all. Previous experience in adult life includes an airgun (rifle), gas-driven pistols and from childhood, playing around with innumerable toy guns... I was sooooo excited about finally getting to fire the real thing.

The Holy Ritual was to take place at an indoor shooting range called "Shooter's Choice", here in Wilmington. Interestingly, so long as a parent signs, youngsters can fire at will here. I don't know what the lower age limit is, but I saw several teens down there, because in North Carolina, shooting is a fun thing for the whole family. Even grandmothers were packin' heat!

A few words on the localities: At Shooter's Choice they let you rent guns and buy targets and ammo, and they also provide certified courses for people who want to acquire a permit to carry, or just want to learn gun safety. Both the shop and the range were well lit and well ventilated. The guys behind the counter were very helpful and nice, and not once did I see anything that could be remotely described as dangerous handling of weaponry. Everybody seemed to have a healthy respect for guns, and there was absolutely none of the gunslinging idiocy you'll see in any Hollywood western or action movie.

I went for the jugular and rented a Colt .45, bought ten target plates and 100 shots and went to it with gusto. I'm happy to report that I was a natural at it! I tried different distances - 8, 15, 21 and 25 feet and even hit a bulls eye at 25ft when I aimed properly. Seems my main mistake is that I have a tendency to pull my right arm towards my body instead of locking the elbow and keeping the arm straight - a very common error for beginners.

I was a bit surprised at how much the gun kicked when I fired it, the recoil was pretty powerful. Also, it annoyed me that every time the people next to us fired their revolver, which was quite loud, my eyes blinked. This was a physical reaction - my heart beat was normal, hands steady - but still my eyes blinked every fuckin' time, which meant I had to time my shooting to whenever they weren't firing. I'm told this too is quite normal, and that as I get used to the noise, my eyes will stop blinking.

Anyways, I had "hella" good fun. It is exciting to fire a gun and to feel that I'm starting to get the hang of it from the first shot - that I don't suck at it. Also, there's no denying... when you're blasting off 8 shots of .45, you get a God-like feeling, an internal power surge like nothing else I've ever felt.

On the other hand, I also quickly got a healthy respect for the weapon. When you feel how much power you have in your hands, you're either v-e-r-y careful, or you won't last long. I've discovered an activity that I don't actually suck at, and which is exciting and fun, so this is definitely not the last time I'm shooting!

Here are the pics from Tuesday's slaughter of targets:

C'mon muthafuckas!


Diiiie!


I like the "in the action" effect this otherwise blurry shot gives off.


Me holding up a dead target plate. This plate will never again roam the streets, stealing candy from kids or taking women by force.


An actual bullseye. Not bad for a first timer, eh?


I've had that stupid smile on all day. They'll probably have to remove it surgically when I get back to Norway.

Where to next?

Friday is my 45th day out of the 89 that I'm spending in the US (I land in Norway on the 90th day, January 23rd). The big question now is: Where to next? I have some thoughts - chiefly Australia/New Zealand and/or South Africa (to see animals and go on safari). These countries would, in addition to being places I sincerely want to see, have the added benefit of being completely free of snow at this time of year.

On the other hand, both are quite some distance from Norway and may also be too hot right now, so maybe I should wait till March... decisions, decisions. Anyway, here are some options for the period of late January-late March, with positive/negative considerations for all countries. Feel free to add comments, suggestions and (a rarity on this blog) facts in the comments section:


Australia (including New Zealand, because I know they hate to hear it):
+ English speaking country (after a fashion). Civilized (after a fashion). Summer. Lots of sights and wide open spaces to travel. Friendly locals.
- Expensive to get there. Not sure about costs of car rental and the price and quality of Aussie motels. May need travel companions to help reduce costs (hint, hint). Could get very, very hot. Lots of things that want me dead (spiders, snakes, jellyfish, sharks, left hand drivers).

Canada:
+ US light (because I know they hate to hear it), mostly English speaking. Not that much more expensive than the US. Might reasonably stay cheap in a major city there for up to 3 months until I can enter the US again legally.
- Cold as fuck in January & February and March. Snow. The French.

Czech Republic:
+ Cheap to get there, probably reasonable to stay. Lots of places to visit by train or other public transportation. Prague stunning city, used to have friends there. Most people in Prague speak some English.
- Hotel/bar where I used to stay pretty much all changed, old friends scattered. Cold as fuck in January & February. Snow. People outside Prague speak little English. Country swarming with Krauts.

Israel:
+ Most people speak English. Cheap to get there. Temperatures generally bearable in January-March. Lots of history and culture. One of the few places in the world where I can be as pro-Israel as I wish...
- Expensive to stay there from what I understand. Local language incomprehensible, might stifle travel. Iran might decide to rain missiles down on them while I'm there. Some of the people clinically insane.

Italy
+ Reasonably cheap to get there and to stay (depending somewhat on where I go). Lots of historical places and sights to see. Locals friendly, good food, cheap trains.
- Locals insane; I know I'll start to tire of them within the first week. Could be cold as fuck and snowy, depending on where I go (and chance). Few people speak decent English, outside of Rome. Car rentals relatively expensive.

South Africa:
+ Summer there. Sweet, sweet summer. Reasonably cheap to stay there, I think, but possibly somewhat more expensive now because of the season? I dunno. Would really like to see local animals.
- Expensive to get there. Could be hot as hell. Not sure about costs of car rental and the price and quality of South African motels. High crime rates in some areas. Might get mugged in Cape Town or eaten by a lion in Krueger. Driving on the left.

Thailand:
+ Very cheap once you get there, good food. Tolerable climate Jan-March. Friendly locals.
- Somewhat expensive, but not prohibitively so to get there. Know and care fuck all about the whole continent. Local culture insane. Speak bloken English, if at all. Drive on the left, or all over the place. Fear I might go mad with boredom during the first week.

The UK:
+ English speaking (after a fashion). Absolutely tons of sights to see, some friends. Cheap to get there, reasonably cheap to stay, since I'm a member of both Historic Scotland/English Heritage and the National Trusts. Love the locals.
- Most hotels have low standards. Food generally bleh. Could be cold and snowy, you never know. Driving on the left.

One general consideration regarding western Europe, in addition to the chance of snow & cold weather is the status of the Euro. It might be stupid to book a rental now and then have the Euro crack up, only to be replaced by local currencies - or it might be genius, you never know. Le sigh.

Probably, it will be cheaper to rent in the local currencies since the respective governments will inflate their way out of the crisis and people will be more desperate to make money (I have no moral problem living like a fat cat off the desperation of the natives). So maybe I should wait and see what happens to Italy (and Greece and maybe Spain). Decisions, decisions.

Scalped

I got a haircut at Walmart in Farmington, NM this morning (yes, I like living on the edge). I'm almost certain the woman who cut my hair down to one millimeter (rougly 1/25th of an inch) had some injun' blood, so regardless of facts I'm just going to put this out there: I WAS SCALPED BY AN APACHE!

Giving away & selling stuff

As some of you may know, I am going to sell my half of the house I live in per ultimo September and then go on a walkabout till sometime next summer. The only thing I have down as certain is a trip to the US from Oct 26 till Jan 22 (more about that later).

I'm currently in the process of cleaning out more than 15 years of accumulated mess, and a lot of it is only fit for throwing away. But I also have some books that I have read several times (or concluded that I am never going to read) and some DVDs (Zone 2, Europe) that I've also seen umpteen times and want to get rid of. Rather than throw it out I want to see if I can sell or give it away.

So I'm simply going to list all the stuff I want to give away or sell here and y'all can use the comments or go to Facebook or Twitter. Or just send an email to gilhuus@hotmail.com.

You can either make a cash offer or try to convince me why YOU should be the one to receive an item. I can deliver stuff personally in Oslo (mid September at the latest) or I can send the item by mail, in which case YOU must pay the postage. The process will end either on Wednesday August 24 at 9PM Norwegian time, at which point it's getting thrown away or at such time that I've gotten enough cash offers or good stories to wrap it all up. Aight?

UPDATE WEDNESDAY AUGUST 24 - Here's the updated list and there's still some real goodies here. Remember, these are given away (small uhm... donations appreciated):

BOOKS:

"The Thousand Nights and One Night" - A four-volume hardcover box of scholarly translations of the classic work. I haven't touched it since I bought it.

"The Rebus books" - All of Ian Rankin's series about Inspector Rebus except "Black & Blue", but there are also some Rankin books that are NOT Rebus books in there. 25 books in all, paperback.

DVD:

"Fawlty Towers" - The complete set. Don't worry, I'm not insane - I have a double!

"A fistful of dollars" - A classic movie, of which I have a double.

"Man with the naked gun" - the 3 movies in one.

I made another doo doo!

My blog "Ask a Norwegian" is now available as an e-book at Amazon Kindle. (You can download a Kindle for PC for free at Amazon. Also, for Iphone, Ipads, Blackberry, Android.)

For Americans it costs $10, for others $13.80: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0059XPVIO

For UK citizens the price is converted from $ (I'm not from the UK so I can't actually SEE their price): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0059XPVIO

For assorted Eurotrash it costs less than 8 Euro, you can buy it from German Amazon: https://www.amazon.de/dp/B0059XPVIO

Below is the product description, written by yours truly. If you're still not convinced, pop over to http://www.askanorwegian.blogspot.com and read some stuff for free... then go over to Amazon and make me rich!

Yours greedily,

Ghost


Product Description


Originally a blog, now in book form comes the legendary* tales of the cold lands of the north! All the questions about Norway and Norwegians you never knew you wanted answered!** This book will not only enlighten you about Norway, but also insult quite a few other nationalities, species and sexes in addition.

Why are Norwegians so restrained, and are they really rude? What should you eat in Norway or see in Oslo? What is the most common pet? And are Swedes actually human? The answer to these and many more questions are found in this book.

Excerpts:

"There's ample opportunity for bathing, though I've never tested the waters myself for fear of getting harpooned."

"The Danes are generally drunk out of their minds, the Swedes are incapable of feeling emotions and most Norwegians just don't care about you, because we know we're better than you are."

"...today's Bergensians: The bastard offspring of horny, drunken Krauts and Norwegian prostitutes."

"The most common animals are cats, dogs and Swedes ... for disciplining domesticated Swedes, I recommend a rolled up newspaper or a Colt .45, depending on the transgression."

"Because, no matter how hard we've partied, no matter how much we puked (and on whom), no matter how big of an ass we made of ourselves we can always take comfort in this: At least we're not Germans."

"Cabins should have no water or electricity, in fact as few modern conveniences as possible. This is to ensure that the first several hours of any visit will, by necessity, be spent chopping wood and/or pumping water manually into buckets or containers, or carried up steep slopes from the nearest lake or river - which may be a mile's walk or more."

"Ours is an unappetizing hodgepodge of something that looks like it has already been vomited and redigested at least twice, and from the looks of it, the chief ingredients are corn (maize), sour cream and rat."

"Norway is a Lutheran country and until a relatively short time ago, most Norwegians never had sex, we reproduced through cell division or Immaculate Conception."

"Norway, like Sweden has a long tradition for bestiality..."

"...men are from Earth and women from Venus, or some other planet where the weather is permanently foggy and so communication is always fraught with dangers."


* Almost unknown.
** Well, some of them.***
*** Only a few, really.

I made doo doo (also known as a poem)!

I dunno iffin you've heard of this, but American children's book author Adam Mansbach has gone and written a funny little thing called "Go the fuck to sleep." 'tis about 15 short verses long, with illustrations, and let me tell you, the audiobook, narrated by Samuel L. Jackson is hilarious.

Anyways, as ya'll know there's nothing I desire more than tons of money in exchange for minimal work, so I've gone and written my own version, called "Eat your fucking food." I have uploaded it as an e-book at Amazon Kindle in the US, where it costs $1.99 for yanks and $3.99 for Norwegians and heaven knows how much for others, I guess it all depends on where you're browsing from.

Most Norwegians would probably like to order it (I know I am blatantly assuming that most Norwegians would, in fact, want to order it at all) from the German version of Amazon, where it'll set you back €1.60 - sumfin' like NOK 13. As far as I can tell the Kraut version caters to most of the rest of the European market as well. Iffin yer in Engerland or Scotland, the book is also avaliable at the UK Amazon at a converted rate, but only for UK customers. Splendid isolation my ass.

It's 17 stanzas of foul-mouthed fun. Every single stanza contains one end rhyme (legal guarantee!) and it even has two more stanzas than "Go the fuck to sleep" so that's 13% more content. No pretty drawings though, but you prolly wouldn't be able to see them very well on a kindle anyways. Or so I hope.

The book is made of 100% recycled electrons, so you purchasing this book will allow one rare, multicolored frog in the rainforests of Cameroon to live appx. five minutes longer than it otherwise would have. So go ahead and buy, buy, buy! Think of it as buying yer old (or new, as the case may be) pal a cup of coffee - or, knowing me, hot chocolate and a small apple tart on the side. With cream. Anyways, when I'm rich and famous I'll buy you one back, pwomise! (Not a legal guarantee!)

Silence of the lamb

I live in a house surrounded by fields on appx 2.5 sides, fields where sheep graze for several months every year. As sure as these dirty-white little fluffballs will keep me awake at all hours of the night with their incessant meeeehing, every damn year some of 'em will escape through a hole in the fence or crawl under it (or simply levitate over, I have no idea how they manage to escape sometimes).

When I came home from what I laughingly refer to as "work" this afternoon, a ewe with a lamb had managed to get out and were at first slumbering peacefully in the garage, safely snuggled up out of the rain. Later they went around the garden, stuffing their little snouts on the... ahem... pristine pastures of uncut weeds grass, where I managed to get some pics of 'em. Enjoy... they sure did!

Ma went for the tall grass while the lil' one decided to check out the bushes by the tree.


After two seconds he was stuffing his face with green leaves.




He was even gnawing on the bark of the tree. Greedy lil' bastard!


Meanwhile, Mother was sniffing the flowers and chewing grass.


Having finished with the flowers, Mother turned her attention to the plants.

Weiner II

Since Congressman Weiner's nekkid chest has ben splattered all over the internets, I think it's only fair that I come clean with full disclosure too!

This picture looks like:

1) Some hairy animal died a horrible death on someone's puny chest...
2) The latest in fur fashon from the Alabama Company of Assorted Dead Critters...
3) The chest of this blog's author...
4) All of the above...

I ish 40...

...years old today. Meh.