Everybody Draw Muhammed Day

Today is the international "Draw Muhammed" day, but since I'm lazy and can't draw to save my life, I will simply make yet another re-run of my (in)famous work of art, "Muhammed The Ass Fucked Prophet, here seen impaled on a Halliburton gas pipe". Enjoy!

I am Lars Vilks II

In solidarity with the Swedish cartoonist Lars Vilks, I am hereby reprinting the caricature that started the whole fascist violence drama: A drawing showing the "prophet" Muhammed as a dog.



I would also like to remind everyone that May 20th is international "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day", and encourage all of you to make your own artistic contribution.

I am Lars Vilks

Lars Vilks, a Swedish artist who has been living under police protection ever since he made a drawing of the "prophet" Muhammed as a dog in 2007, was attacked during a free speech seminar today. Vilks was giving a speech at the university in the Swedish town of Uppsala.

The point of his speech was to show art that had provoked various religions over the years, and he started out with more famous examples, like "Piss Christ", before moving on to an "art" piece called "Allah ho gay bar". That's when several members of the audience rose from their seats and advanced towards him. One man reportedly gave him a headbutt, and his glasses were broken. The police had to use pepper spray and some were arrested.

You can see the video of what happened here, notice how a woman is shrilling "Allah u Akhbar" throughout (Allah is great):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdyKmzEdHws

This should of course be totally unacceptable in a civilized country in 2010. The fuckin animals who attacked Mr Vilks should be rounded up and sent out of the country asap, on penalty of being shot in the head if they ever set foot in Sweden again. But almost as bad are the cowardly fucks of the media, who refuse to show the video, and even digitally blur pictures of the attackers and FAIL TO MENTION THAT THEY WERE MUSLIMS, like this asshole in the Norwegian daily Dagbladet. These lowlife scumbags are terrified of showing people the truth about islamist animals, because their politically correct world would come crumbling down around them if they did. (NTB, the Norwegian press agency also ignores the ethnic background of the violent mob.)

I have no idea what kind of art Lars Vilks produces normally, he may be a genius or he may be worthless. But in a free society he must be allowed to produce whatever art he damn well pleases. So in addition to being Kurt Westergaard, I am now also Lars Vilks.

The Enemy

As Jon Stewart says it, if you have media you've already heard - Trey Parker and Matt Stone (of South Park fame) have been threatened by a muslim webpage for airing the prophet Muhammed on the show.

Stewart also mentions that the webpage's owners are living in New York City, enjoying American freedom to spew out their hatred of American society and pretty much everything Western, including democracy and freedom of speech.

My question is simple: Why Aren't They Killed Dead? Or, to put it more directly: Why the flying fuck haven't the FBI, the NYPD, the CIA, the Black Choppers or the Salvation Army tracked down these fuckers and torn them limb from limb a long time ago? Are we really that "civilized", that we allow these worthless pieces of rabblerousing scum to live among us and continue to spread hatred and recruit even more scum?

We're in a fuckin WAR, people. We have been since LONG before 9/11, and at least since that date we should realize who the enemy is: Islam. Which is why every fucker with a long beard, every fucker in flowing garments, every fucker who regularly kneels down to pray towards Mecca, every fucker who's ever uttered one fuckin word against the republican government of the United States of America and the freedoms for which it stands, needs to be told to leave the country on pain of beeing shot point blank in the head.

This is WAR. We have seen the enemy, we have heard the enemy, we have read what the enemy has to say. The enemy is here, now, amongst us, in all western societies. We have the means to eradicate it, to purge it from our soil, to rid our societies of this despicable, violent, misogynistic, homophobic, childbeating, pedophile, ignorant pestilence of a faith.

The choice is ours, and if we don't soon ACT, all the freedoms that we cherish will perish, little by little, piece by piece. South Park is just one example, the Muhammed drawings is another. This is a war we can easily win. But first we need to muster up the guts to fuckin FIGHT IT.

Balance

Lest I be accused of favoritism, let me also gloat over the recent revelations concerning the Catholic church here in Norway. The child molesters in funny clothes are still dragging their feet and saying that the reporting to the police is for the abused to do, the Church will not report pedophiles in their own organization.

Personally, I think every goddamn Catholic bishop, cardinal and the pope himself should be fucked up the ass with a big, blunt stick for any number of reasons, but this seems to be a particularly fitting one. They're running an organization that not only does its best to turn people to stupid, unscientific beliefs, but is also committing and helping to hide unspeakable acts against minors. The Catholic church is the world's biggest organized crime syndicate, and needs to be dealt with accordingly.

Sorcery

According to CNN, a Lebanese guy has been sentenced to death in Saudi Arabia for "sorcery". Ali Hussain Sibat was a program leader in Beirut of a call-in show, where he "according to his lawyer ... would predict the future on his show and give out advice to his audience."

This is one execution I can get behind wholeheartedly. Fuckin cons who deceive their audiences by claiming to know the future or fucking morons who actually believe they can do so - doesn't matter. One less cunt in the world is always a good thing, whether that cunt is a stupid cunt or a tricking cunt is of minor importance.

Sadly, the Saudis seem to have fucked up on basic logic, since the rationale of his death penalty was described thusly: "...the judges in Medina issued a statement expressing that Sibat deserved to be executed for having continually practiced black magic on his show, adding that this sentence would deter others from practicing sorcery." In other words, he's not being beheaded because he is making outrageous, irrational, illogical bullshit claims, he's getting his head lopped off because the Saudis think he's able to foretell the future by invoking black magic.

I've already gone on record advocating this measure before, for other reasons, but let me reiterate it in no uncertain terms: The whole Saudi royal family, its religious authorites and its clergy; every fucking institution that serves to prop up this disgusting stone-age regime of superstition, fundamentalism, misogyny and just general allround stupidity needs to be wiped off the surface of the earth.

Special re-run

As a public service to my loyal readers I present you once again with my artistic masterpiece, "Muhammed, the ass-fucked prophet, here seen impaled on a Halliburton oil pipe". This post is of course a follow-up to the "I'm Kurt Westergaard"-post of last week.

Idiocy all round

A new study by PEW shows that Democrats, even more so than their supposedly more religious counterparts the Republicans, are braindead. The prevalence of ghosts, fortunetellers, communicating with the dead and other such rubbish is about twice as high amongst Democrats as Republicans.

Not surprisingly, "women are also twice as likely to have consulted a fortuneteller or psychic". This fits with personal experience, which is that women are more into fuzzy, feel-good, new age drivel, while men go more for the institutionalized, impersonal major religions. Regardless, it is a sad fact that Democrats, albeit perceived as more "secular" in their policies, are at least as irrational, ignorant and just plain DUMB as the Republicans in their world view.

Best documentary

THIS should be the natural winner of an Oscar for best documentary. Unlike the so-called documentaries by previous winners Al Gore and Michael Moore, this one at least doesn't contain outright lies. Also, the threat it presents is vastly more dangerous and immediate.




UPDATE: The cowardly bastards at LiveLeak have pulled the video, but it's still available at google.

Travelblog: Northumbria

Wednesday I drove on to Lindisfarne aka Holy Island, which holds the dubious (in my view) title of "Cradle of Christianity" in northern England. The monastery here was one of the most important in all of England until the vikings raided their asses in 793, an attack commonly considered to be the first proper viking attack on the British Isles. The old Anglo-Saxon church was later rebuilt in Norman style, but that too is now in ruins (the proper state for any religious building if you ask me, which you probably won't).




One of the most important of these early morons/monks was St Cuthbert, who for large parts of his time here lived in isolation on this tiny island just off the coast of Lindisfarne. Mentally, I immediately renamed him St Nutbert.




Nice, pastoral image, eh?




The road between Lindisfarne and the mainland is often flooded. There are tables posted on either side to show when it's safe to drive out. The view at low tide:

One down...

Moral Majority founder, Christian fundamentalist and all-round Neanderthal numbskull Jerry Falwell has died.

In other news, a spit roast is being held in Hell tonight.

A disturbing trend

Ok... things are getting serious. Only last week I blogged about the Second Coming of Christ in the shape of a chimpanzee baby, born of a virgin monkey mother in Louisiana. Now comes this story from England, where a virgin Komodo dragon has given birth to five little dragonettes (or whatever you call the offspring of dragons).

I think we can all see the signs here. The dragon is one of the creatures in the Bible most closely associated with the Devil, while chimps are Man's closest relatives. Obviously, we have entered the End Days and in less than thirty years' time we can expect the final battle between Komodo and Chimpanzee. I'm hereby declaring copyrights to any book or movie manuscript based on this scenario (I need the income to pay for my highly overdue increase in medication).

Monkey business

In a Louisiana Chimpanzee sanctuary, one of the animals has given birth. This would be unremarkable if not for one tiny little point: All the male chimpanzees there have had vasectomies. They've been castrated, emasculated, fixed, gelded, snipped, turned French.

This pregnancy is therefore disturbing on a number of levels. First, did the baby chimp look suspiciously like any of the male employees? If not, does this mean we're about to have Jesus return as a chimpanzee virgin birth? THAT would shake up both creationists and evolutionists alike!

I leave you with one final, disturbing thought: When delivering a chimpanzee baby... do the doctors... uhm... spank the monkey? (And should I increase my medication?)

Mysterious ways

My interest was aroused by this commercial... no, not like that, you pigs... I'm wondering about the "Angels secret embrace" line - does this mean angels are in the habit of sneaking up on women & cup their breasts? I'm no theologian at the best, nor worst of times, but this was news to me...

What's Arabic for "Brokeback Mountain"?

I saw this pic of Osama and his right hand man (any and all seedy double meaning intended) Ayman al-Zawahri today, and my immediate thought was that it looked like a scene from an Arabic version of Brokeback Mountain. Then more witty captions came popping up:

"I dunno about you Al, but I feel kinda stupid, sitting here with a giant handkerchief on my head"

"Hey Al! Stop touching yourself in public!"

"Your cave or mine?"

"...so you see, sexual intercourse with camels isn't really against the Koran after all..."

"...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped..."

"... and you're SURE these Enron shares are a smart investment?"


Further suggestions welcome, have at it in the comments, kids!

Still nazi after all these years

From Reuters:

A German court on Thursday convicted a businessman of insulting Islam by printing the word "Koran" on toilet paper and offering it to mosques.

The 61-year-old man, identified only as Manfred van H., was given a one-year jail sentence, suspended for five years, and ordered to complete 300 hours of community service, a district court in the western German town of Luedinghausen ruled.

The conviction comes after a Danish newspaper printed cartoons depicting the Prophet Mohammad -- sparking violent protests around the world from Muslims who saw the images as sacrilegious and an attack on their beliefs.

Manfred van H. printed out sheets of toilet paper bearing the word "Koran" shortly after a group of Muslims carried out a series of bomb attacks in London in July 2005. He sent the paper to German television stations, magazines and some 15 mosques.

Prosecutors said that in an accompanying letter Manfred van H. called Islam's holy book a "cookbook for terrorists."

He also offered his toilet paper for sale on the Internet at a price of 4 euros ($4.76) per roll, saying the proceeds would go toward a "memorial to all the victims of Islamic terrorism."

The maximum sentence for insulting religious beliefs under the German criminal code is three years in prison.


No word on any German plans to come down on Islamofascists who regularly preach oppression of women, Jews and generally everyone not bowing to their authority in said mosques. Then again, protection of Jews never was your strong point, eh Fritz?

Mor(m)ons

Muahahahahaaaaaa... As if modern science hadn't bitchslapped religion around enough, along comes this beautiful little article from the LA Times... Now, believing in religion is fairly stupid in and of itself, but believing in that particular brand of organized idiocy known as mormonism takes a special kind of stupidity. Or as PJ O'Rourke once quipped about the dullness of Disneyworld: It was an insult to a country that had invented a religion like mormonism.

Anyway, the article details how modern DNA research has shredded whatever vestige of credibility one of the religion's fundamental tenets had left; that of the Native Americans (aka injuns) descending from the ancient Hebrews, who supposedly came to America 2,600 years ago. Of course, if you have the tiniest combination of brains and education you will know that the Natives actually came from Asia, several thousands of years ago.

The article goes on to describe some of the Mormon Church's teachings on the subject, which are both racist, immoral and demonstrably false. The fact that such a thoroughly despicable and stupid religion still has been able to gain millions of converts all over the world, demonstrates very clearly that when it comes to religion, there is no limit to how low otherwise sane, moral people can go. It also shows how easy it is to start a religion, even in fairly recent times - imagine then how little it took back when the "great" world religions commenced! Keep this in mind when you read about the supposed miracles of the Bible, the Koran or whatever piece of scripture you've got your grubby little hands on. You believe any of that shit, you're no better than a mor(m)on.

Invoking the 5th

Nope, not the famous 5th amendment to the US Constitution... but the 5th article of the North Atlantic Treaty, the founding document of NATO. The article basically states that an attack on one NATO member is to be considered an attack on all. It was invoked after 9/11, 2001, when the US was attacked by Islamofascists.

Well, today the Embassies of NATO members Denmark and Norway were burned to the ground in Damascus, Syria. This is a country where you do not take to the streets unless you have a pretty good feeling you've got the government's support, however tacitly stated. This is a regime that keeps a very tight leash on its population, and I refuse to believe they could not have stopped this if they wanted to, especially since the Norwegian Embassy was burned down some time after the Danish one. Yeah, they used "tear gas and water cannons", but this is a regime that wouldn't hesitate to user either rubber or real bullets if they felt so inclined.

So. We've got terrorists. We've got burning NATO-country buildings, on what is legally NATO-country ground (remember, Embassies are considered to be extensions of their respective countries and not a part of the host country!). And we've got an uncooperative government sheltering Islamofascists. I say we go GET the fuckers. And since Syria doesn't have any more oil than they've got democracy, no one's going to accuse us of "blood for oil" this time.

Of course, they might say we're anti-Islamic, ethnocentric neo-imperialists, but flattery won't get them anywhere.

Piglet says it best

Ok, this is by far the sweetest response so far to the whole boycott thingy... go to http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/Default.aspx and click on the cartoon for Feb 2.

Update: The link is dead, try this instead.

It's rude, but is it art?

Ok... I've read some complaints regarding the cartoons of Mohammed - not pertaining to freedom of speech, but to the very relevant and morally valid notion of copyrights. I don't know what's proper, and until I get a good source explaining to me that it is in fact a violation of copy rights to show the cartoons, I shall keep them here. But in the unlikely event that I do feel compelled to remove them, I have made my own, highly blasphemous little back-up drawing.

Those of you who know me (and are still alive to talk about it), know that I can't draw to save my life, and certainly not with a paintshop program. Yet, here is my artistic impression of Mohammed, the ass-fucked prophet. I always go the extra mile for you, dear readers!