Due to a soulcrushing lack of travel, this blog has slowly turned into a pure quote machine lately. That was not my intention, so I'mma try to liven things up a bit here. First, the good news... I've finally decided to at least use my time as an unemployed slob to try and lose some weight and get my blood sugar levels under 7.0 again.
Score success on both counts, as I had 6.9 at the doc's yesterday (against 8.9 three monts ago) and weighed in at 112.5 kg this morning. I hope to be back at my lowest in over ten years by reaching the much glorified 106.4 kg, which I attained in September 2011. Yes, money is not the only thing I've squandered these past 18 months...
On the downside I'm now in the market looking for a job. I'm a teacher by training, so that's where I'm looking first, and I've decided to try and go back to my old high school in the fall (I'm desperately looking for their job ads in the local paper every day... they're late). They've got a new principal and are in the process of rebuilding, so maybe things will be better than they were the last few years of my previous employment there. Also, there's nothing like a 3 year break to get the old motivation going again... wheeeeee!
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Monday, December 31, 2012
Some facebook stats
Some numbers to close out the year... I have 120 "friends" over on Facebook. Of these, 45 are women while 75 are men (assuming they all are who they say they are). I have personally met 115 of them, while 5 are accepted more or less on faith. They could be aliens or figments of my imagination for all I know.
There is a surprisingly high number of Lutefisk eaters among them; 93. There are 27 unwashed, garlicky foreigners out to get Norwegian jobs & women; 15 from the USA, 2 from England, 2 from Ukraina and 2 from Sweden. Canada, Israel, Poland, Russia, Switzerland and Thailand have 1 each.
I wonder how much will have changed a year from now.
There is a surprisingly high number of Lutefisk eaters among them; 93. There are 27 unwashed, garlicky foreigners out to get Norwegian jobs & women; 15 from the USA, 2 from England, 2 from Ukraina and 2 from Sweden. Canada, Israel, Poland, Russia, Switzerland and Thailand have 1 each.
I wonder how much will have changed a year from now.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Involuntary pause
I've had a break in my blogging since Saturday, on account of my fucking PC deciding to give up life. Until I can find a way to access the hard drive, there will be no more quotes. Also, some unposted pictures are stored on it, along with all my travel documents and... well... most of my life. Cross your fingers and everything else for a quick retrival of data.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
I made another doo doo!
My blog "Ask a Norwegian" is now available as an e-book at Amazon Kindle. (You can download a Kindle for PC for free at Amazon. Also, for Iphone, Ipads, Blackberry, Android.)
For Americans it costs $10, for others $13.80: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0059XPVIO
For UK citizens the price is converted from $ (I'm not from the UK so I can't actually SEE their price): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0059XPVIO
For assorted Eurotrash it costs less than 8 Euro, you can buy it from German Amazon: https://www.amazon.de/dp/B0059XPVIO
Below is the product description, written by yours truly. If you're still not convinced, pop over to http://www.askanorwegian.blogspot.com and read some stuff for free... then go over to Amazon and make me rich!
Yours greedily,
Ghost
Product Description
Originally a blog, now in book form comes the legendary* tales of the cold lands of the north! All the questions about Norway and Norwegians you never knew you wanted answered!** This book will not only enlighten you about Norway, but also insult quite a few other nationalities, species and sexes in addition.
Why are Norwegians so restrained, and are they really rude? What should you eat in Norway or see in Oslo? What is the most common pet? And are Swedes actually human? The answer to these and many more questions are found in this book.
Excerpts:
"There's ample opportunity for bathing, though I've never tested the waters myself for fear of getting harpooned."
"The Danes are generally drunk out of their minds, the Swedes are incapable of feeling emotions and most Norwegians just don't care about you, because we know we're better than you are."
"...today's Bergensians: The bastard offspring of horny, drunken Krauts and Norwegian prostitutes."
"The most common animals are cats, dogs and Swedes ... for disciplining domesticated Swedes, I recommend a rolled up newspaper or a Colt .45, depending on the transgression."
"Because, no matter how hard we've partied, no matter how much we puked (and on whom), no matter how big of an ass we made of ourselves we can always take comfort in this: At least we're not Germans."
"Cabins should have no water or electricity, in fact as few modern conveniences as possible. This is to ensure that the first several hours of any visit will, by necessity, be spent chopping wood and/or pumping water manually into buckets or containers, or carried up steep slopes from the nearest lake or river - which may be a mile's walk or more."
"Ours is an unappetizing hodgepodge of something that looks like it has already been vomited and redigested at least twice, and from the looks of it, the chief ingredients are corn (maize), sour cream and rat."
"Norway is a Lutheran country and until a relatively short time ago, most Norwegians never had sex, we reproduced through cell division or Immaculate Conception."
"Norway, like Sweden has a long tradition for bestiality..."
"...men are from Earth and women from Venus, or some other planet where the weather is permanently foggy and so communication is always fraught with dangers."
* Almost unknown.
** Well, some of them.***
*** Only a few, really.
For Americans it costs $10, for others $13.80: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0059XPVIO
For UK citizens the price is converted from $ (I'm not from the UK so I can't actually SEE their price): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0059XPVIO
For assorted Eurotrash it costs less than 8 Euro, you can buy it from German Amazon: https://www.amazon.de/dp/B0059XPVIO
Below is the product description, written by yours truly. If you're still not convinced, pop over to http://www.askanorwegian.blogspot.com and read some stuff for free... then go over to Amazon and make me rich!
Yours greedily,
Ghost
Product Description
Originally a blog, now in book form comes the legendary* tales of the cold lands of the north! All the questions about Norway and Norwegians you never knew you wanted answered!** This book will not only enlighten you about Norway, but also insult quite a few other nationalities, species and sexes in addition.
Why are Norwegians so restrained, and are they really rude? What should you eat in Norway or see in Oslo? What is the most common pet? And are Swedes actually human? The answer to these and many more questions are found in this book.
Excerpts:
"There's ample opportunity for bathing, though I've never tested the waters myself for fear of getting harpooned."
"The Danes are generally drunk out of their minds, the Swedes are incapable of feeling emotions and most Norwegians just don't care about you, because we know we're better than you are."
"...today's Bergensians: The bastard offspring of horny, drunken Krauts and Norwegian prostitutes."
"The most common animals are cats, dogs and Swedes ... for disciplining domesticated Swedes, I recommend a rolled up newspaper or a Colt .45, depending on the transgression."
"Because, no matter how hard we've partied, no matter how much we puked (and on whom), no matter how big of an ass we made of ourselves we can always take comfort in this: At least we're not Germans."
"Cabins should have no water or electricity, in fact as few modern conveniences as possible. This is to ensure that the first several hours of any visit will, by necessity, be spent chopping wood and/or pumping water manually into buckets or containers, or carried up steep slopes from the nearest lake or river - which may be a mile's walk or more."
"Ours is an unappetizing hodgepodge of something that looks like it has already been vomited and redigested at least twice, and from the looks of it, the chief ingredients are corn (maize), sour cream and rat."
"Norway is a Lutheran country and until a relatively short time ago, most Norwegians never had sex, we reproduced through cell division or Immaculate Conception."
"Norway, like Sweden has a long tradition for bestiality..."
"...men are from Earth and women from Venus, or some other planet where the weather is permanently foggy and so communication is always fraught with dangers."
* Almost unknown.
** Well, some of them.***
*** Only a few, really.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
I made doo doo (also known as a poem)!
I dunno iffin you've heard of this, but American children's book author Adam Mansbach has gone and written a funny little thing called "Go the fuck to sleep." 'tis about 15 short verses long, with illustrations, and let me tell you, the audiobook, narrated by Samuel L. Jackson is hilarious.
Anyways, as ya'll know there's nothing I desire more than tons of money in exchange for minimal work, so I've gone and written my own version, called "Eat your fucking food." I have uploaded it as an e-book at Amazon Kindle in the US, where it costs $1.99 for yanks and $3.99 for Norwegians and heaven knows how much for others, I guess it all depends on where you're browsing from.
Most Norwegians would probably like to order it (I know I am blatantly assuming that most Norwegians would, in fact, want to order it at all) from the German version of Amazon, where it'll set you back €1.60 - sumfin' like NOK 13. As far as I can tell the Kraut version caters to most of the rest of the European market as well. Iffin yer in Engerland or Scotland, the book is also avaliable at the UK Amazon at a converted rate, but only for UK customers. Splendid isolation my ass.
It's 17 stanzas of foul-mouthed fun. Every single stanza contains one end rhyme (legal guarantee!) and it even has two more stanzas than "Go the fuck to sleep" so that's 13% more content. No pretty drawings though, but you prolly wouldn't be able to see them very well on a kindle anyways. Or so I hope.
The book is made of 100% recycled electrons, so you purchasing this book will allow one rare, multicolored frog in the rainforests of Cameroon to live appx. five minutes longer than it otherwise would have. So go ahead and buy, buy, buy! Think of it as buying yer old (or new, as the case may be) pal a cup of coffee - or, knowing me, hot chocolate and a small apple tart on the side. With cream. Anyways, when I'm rich and famous I'll buy you one back, pwomise! (Not a legal guarantee!)
Anyways, as ya'll know there's nothing I desire more than tons of money in exchange for minimal work, so I've gone and written my own version, called "Eat your fucking food." I have uploaded it as an e-book at Amazon Kindle in the US, where it costs $1.99 for yanks and $3.99 for Norwegians and heaven knows how much for others, I guess it all depends on where you're browsing from.
Most Norwegians would probably like to order it (I know I am blatantly assuming that most Norwegians would, in fact, want to order it at all) from the German version of Amazon, where it'll set you back €1.60 - sumfin' like NOK 13. As far as I can tell the Kraut version caters to most of the rest of the European market as well. Iffin yer in Engerland or Scotland, the book is also avaliable at the UK Amazon at a converted rate, but only for UK customers. Splendid isolation my ass.
It's 17 stanzas of foul-mouthed fun. Every single stanza contains one end rhyme (legal guarantee!) and it even has two more stanzas than "Go the fuck to sleep" so that's 13% more content. No pretty drawings though, but you prolly wouldn't be able to see them very well on a kindle anyways. Or so I hope.
The book is made of 100% recycled electrons, so you purchasing this book will allow one rare, multicolored frog in the rainforests of Cameroon to live appx. five minutes longer than it otherwise would have. So go ahead and buy, buy, buy! Think of it as buying yer old (or new, as the case may be) pal a cup of coffee - or, knowing me, hot chocolate and a small apple tart on the side. With cream. Anyways, when I'm rich and famous I'll buy you one back, pwomise! (Not a legal guarantee!)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Right...
... 'tis done. I have signed up for a contest with a Norwegian travel magazine... they are giving away free trips to various places in return for daily updates with pictures. I think I can do THAT... at least if the trip is to the US. I also had to send in a short travel story of max 300 words, so I chose to write about my day in Green River, more specifically about the incredible views south of town at Cold Geysir. I also sent along some pics. Crossing my fingers here!
TELL me this isn't purdy. I dare ye:
All Green River pics here.
TELL me this isn't purdy. I dare ye:
All Green River pics here.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Zion! Joooooos!
This time, we're adding a little twist to our caption contest. Today ONE of the sentences below is false and should be eliminated (much like the Iranian government).
This image is:
a) The official logo of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.
b) A cleverly constructed way of spelling "ZION", a code word for the jooooos.
c) A clear sign that the Iranian government has gone off the deep end.
d) ... oh fuck it, nuke the assholes already!
This image is:
a) The official logo of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.
b) A cleverly constructed way of spelling "ZION", a code word for the jooooos.
c) A clear sign that the Iranian government has gone off the deep end.
d) ... oh fuck it, nuke the assholes already!
Monday, February 28, 2011
I got a shiny, new blog!
For those of you who have lived a benighted life of ignorance about Norway and Norwegians, here is your chance to be enlightened: http://askanorwegian.blogspot.com/
My newestest blog is devoted to all things Norwegian, and I shall attempt to answer your questions in a serious way (except for the occasional snide remark about the Swedes).
Also, if you don't start asking questions soon, I'm gonna have to start making stuff up. Trust me, none of us want THAT.
My newestest blog is devoted to all things Norwegian, and I shall attempt to answer your questions in a serious way (except for the occasional snide remark about the Swedes).
Also, if you don't start asking questions soon, I'm gonna have to start making stuff up. Trust me, none of us want THAT.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
1,000
This is blogpost number one thousand. Wow. You're all free to shower me with congratulations and expensive gifts.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Quotes, etc
I don't know how much I'm gonna be online in Italy and France; none of the places I'm staying at has an internet connection. So, to be on the safe side I am scheduling about two months worth of quotes on here, starting tomorrow. Intermittent posts written whenever I may get to a computer will also pop up, as will the odd travelogue.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Exit
I shall delete my Facebook account appx. at 9PM European time on Monday, May 24th (that's 3PM East Coast time or noon California time). Those of who you wish to stay in touch should have my email address, or bookmark the blog. Here you'll at least get a fresh, shiny quote every day, with the odd rant and travel story chucked in for good measure. You knows you wants it!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Goodbye, Fuckbook
Facebook pulled the plug on my account yesterday, after my artwork "Muhammed The Ass Fucked Prophet" was autopublished from this blog. The account was reinstated today, but the link to my drawing was gone.
This is but the shadow of things to come. Islamofascists are overwhelming our borders, but they have long ago overwhelmed our sense of freedom and rationality. Now, even cyberspace has freedom of expression no more.
I feel little sense of loss over the Facebook page itself. Facebook is at best a timewasting trifle, something to spend time on between classes or when bored. But the PRINCIPLE of the thing is what matters; that I should be allowed to post images critical of Islam. This proved too much for the cowardly fucks at Facebook.
Now, as a believer in free enterprise, I wholeheartedly defend Facebook's RIGHT to deem my post unacceptable and to pretty much do whatever the fuck they want with their own pages, they OWN the thing, after all. In the same way I retain MY right to vehemently disagree with them and to call them a bunch of cowering, sniveling, brainless fucktards bowing to an even worse rabble of violent, freedomhating criminals called islamists and their criminally stupid, politically correct allies.
A bunch of you convinced (read: bullied) me into starting a Facebook account back in January. I've now seen the true face of the cunts running the place, and I gladly take my leave of the bastards. But the struggle for our liberties continues. If you believe in true freedom of expression - not just in saying the safe, conformist crap, or in posting your various mafia war idiocies or who gave you a cybergift and whoop-de-fuckin-doo... you will pause and consider this. The fuckers came for me because of a DRAWING. How long before they censor something YOU care about?
This is but the shadow of things to come. Islamofascists are overwhelming our borders, but they have long ago overwhelmed our sense of freedom and rationality. Now, even cyberspace has freedom of expression no more.
I feel little sense of loss over the Facebook page itself. Facebook is at best a timewasting trifle, something to spend time on between classes or when bored. But the PRINCIPLE of the thing is what matters; that I should be allowed to post images critical of Islam. This proved too much for the cowardly fucks at Facebook.
Now, as a believer in free enterprise, I wholeheartedly defend Facebook's RIGHT to deem my post unacceptable and to pretty much do whatever the fuck they want with their own pages, they OWN the thing, after all. In the same way I retain MY right to vehemently disagree with them and to call them a bunch of cowering, sniveling, brainless fucktards bowing to an even worse rabble of violent, freedomhating criminals called islamists and their criminally stupid, politically correct allies.
A bunch of you convinced (read: bullied) me into starting a Facebook account back in January. I've now seen the true face of the cunts running the place, and I gladly take my leave of the bastards. But the struggle for our liberties continues. If you believe in true freedom of expression - not just in saying the safe, conformist crap, or in posting your various mafia war idiocies or who gave you a cybergift and whoop-de-fuckin-doo... you will pause and consider this. The fuckers came for me because of a DRAWING. How long before they censor something YOU care about?
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Random blogs
I've run a post on this before... sometimes when I'm bored enough I avail myself of the "next blog" button at the top and just go around cruising for some random amusement. Sadly I mostly end up with Asian teens, American religious nutcases and Spanish artists. Ugh.
Still dear reader, I trudge on through the mud and the foreign rubbish and the nutty ideas to find the few little specks of gold out so that you don't have to. Without further ado I present to you:
* Nell's Big Walk - A blog by an Irish woman walking through Spain. Lots of nice pics.
* There is a Pug in the House - A blog about a cute little pup. Awwwwwwwww.
* Pork & Chocolate - A food lover's guide to New York.
* The Burger Beast - Tons of greasy, fatty, yummy food. Based in Southern Florida, but with reviews from all over.
Still dear reader, I trudge on through the mud and the foreign rubbish and the nutty ideas to find the few little specks of gold out so that you don't have to. Without further ado I present to you:
* Nell's Big Walk - A blog by an Irish woman walking through Spain. Lots of nice pics.
* There is a Pug in the House - A blog about a cute little pup. Awwwwwwwww.
* Pork & Chocolate - A food lover's guide to New York.
* The Burger Beast - Tons of greasy, fatty, yummy food. Based in Southern Florida, but with reviews from all over.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 6, 2008
It's a strange world out there
When boredom gets me I sometimes use the random blog function at the top of the page to surf around and see what's out there on blogspot. The general impression is "not a whole fuckin lotta' anything". Most blogs are of no interest whatsofuckinever, they're borrrring family update stuff for grandparents, silly teenage girl pages with pink backgrounds and poorly concealed ad pages for mortgages or viagra. You get the picture.
Some other observations: More and more blogs are in languages other than English. Chiefly Spanish (ugh) but even the frogs seem to be worming their way into the blogosphere these days and that sucks. In the 90s I had sweet, sweet visions of the internet(s) as a tool to trample all other languages under the mighty heel of English, but alas it was not to be. Another observation: People who put pop-ups and automatic music and/or videos on their pages must die slow and horrible deaths.
Anyway, there are so many blogs out there that once in a while you're bound to happen upon some good stuff. Allow me to introduce:
* Japanese priority seat signs. I don't know if these are real, but they made me snort. There's more funny shit on that page.
* Some nice pics on the blog of this Russkie in Riga.
* This looks like some kind of tourist blog for Angola, but I don't speak Portuguese so I can't say for sure. Lots of good pics anyway.
* FINALLY, another Scandinavian blogging in English. Nice images from lovely Denmark. Click on her profile, she has more nice photo pages.
Some other observations: More and more blogs are in languages other than English. Chiefly Spanish (ugh) but even the frogs seem to be worming their way into the blogosphere these days and that sucks. In the 90s I had sweet, sweet visions of the internet(s) as a tool to trample all other languages under the mighty heel of English, but alas it was not to be. Another observation: People who put pop-ups and automatic music and/or videos on their pages must die slow and horrible deaths.
Anyway, there are so many blogs out there that once in a while you're bound to happen upon some good stuff. Allow me to introduce:
* Japanese priority seat signs. I don't know if these are real, but they made me snort. There's more funny shit on that page.
* Some nice pics on the blog of this Russkie in Riga.
* This looks like some kind of tourist blog for Angola, but I don't speak Portuguese so I can't say for sure. Lots of good pics anyway.
* FINALLY, another Scandinavian blogging in English. Nice images from lovely Denmark. Click on her profile, she has more nice photo pages.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
I don't WANT to do this...
... but your laziness is forcing my hand...
MAKE A COMMENT OR THE DOG GETS IT!
MAKE A COMMENT OR THE DOG GETS IT!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Spam, spam, spam - wonderful spaaaaaaam
As ya'll know, I absolutely hate spammers and would like to see them all put to death in a wide variety of gruesome and extremely painful ways. Lately, the fuckers have even started invading my comments section! But now I have discovered that blogspot offers a comment verification function, which you should all activate. It is very simple, you just go to the comments section of your edit panel and click it. From then on, anyone wishing to leave a comment must type in a word generated by blogspot. This requires a human and excludes all those effin' spambots. Problem solved!
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