Krakow: The old town square

My second and last installment from the wonderful city of Krakow is the area know as Old Town Square, or Main Square of the Old Town. It's a handsome area where I spent several blissful hours just strolling around, taking in the sights and sounds of a free market economy in action.

There was a large hall in the middle of the square, on one side of it was a space for the many horse carriages.


And the many flower booths...


An ancient tower stood in the other half of the square.


The large hall was home to dozens of small vendors, all hawking Chinese products. Bah!


This small monument was to an old guy who'd set fire to himself to protest communism back in the day. I'd never heard of him, but I thought his sacrifice was worth at least a picture.


There were dozens of stalls selling all manner of yummy food. Here, the smell of burning animal carcasses was almost overpowering. Mmmmm, burning animal carcasses.


Bread! Big, juicy lumps of bread!


Sausages, hams, bacon. Droolz.


Cheese. Big chunks of delicious, smelly cheese.


I feasted on this big pancake, which was filled with lots of yummy jam and fruits.


I have no idea why they chose to make a chocolate model of a deranged bunny.


Some of the stalls sold these... ahem... different products.


This blacksmith made lots of different things; I bought several engraved horseshoes from him.


Naturally, I was skeptical of Krakow.

Krakow: My surroundings

After the very interesting visit to the Salt Mine, I drove to the airport and dropped off the rental car. I then decided to splurge on a taxi to my hotel. The taxi driver spoke decent English and wanted to know if I'd been to Poland before. When I told him I'd been to Warszaw he scoffed, and when I told him I'd seen the "Old Town" (which was bombed to smithereens and then rebuilt after the war), he guffawed. This was something I noticed several times during my brief stay; a snotty attitude towards Warszaw and a solid belief in the cultural and historical supremacy of Krakow.

Wednesday, I started coming down with a cold so my movements around town became somewhat restricted. I simply didn't move much about and didn't get to see and do half the stuff I'd planned beforehand. Oh, well. An excuse to come back quickly!

My hotel was decent enough, but the bedding called for a German hairy midget porn movie.


On my first stroll down to the Old Town square, I had breakfast on a park bench. This little fella immediately landed eerily close and gave me the ole' "your eyeballs or your food"-look. I think it's a jackdaw.


I threw him the remains of my sandwhich, but half a dozen pigeons immediately descended on it. Flying rats.


Cosmic balance was restored when he simply grabbed the main part of the bread and flew away with it. You can sse him behind the tree trunk, stuffing beak on his loot.


This is what passes for a hairdressing salon in Krakow.


The lesser square, right next to the main square in the Old Town area.


An old structure which I believe was a gate in the city wall of yore.


This was some kind of tourist info, I think.


Outside the supermarket across the road, they sold alcohol on the streets. Imagine that, Norway!


Dis bunny be stoooned, maaan.


Naturally, I was skeptical of my hotel room.

Wieliczka salt mines

After the boring, dreary bleakness of Auschwitz, I was in for a treat at the Wieliczka salt mine. I'd heard a lot about it, but wasn't really sure what to expect, as I now knew a little something about the Polish mindset when it came to infotainment. I need not have worried. If you're in Poland and only have time to see or do ONE thing, this is it.

The standard tour takes around two hours and by the end my feet were killing me, but then again I have neuropathy and so am probably not your typical tourist. The guides are well informed, but know better than to cram too many years and statistics down your throat and some of the things I saw down there were really incredible.

Salt. Effin salt.


The famous astronomer Copernicus was one of many notabilities to visit through the centuries. For some reason the artists have chosen to depict him as he's about to bowl.


There were tons of tableaus down there, hundreds of feet below the surface. Some were carved by the workers of the mine, others are made by contemporary artists. This was from some legend about Kinga, a Hungarian princess, and like all such things utter bullshit.


They had working horses down there until a few years ago when the mine finally closed its operations.


Creeeepy. He wants to eat your flesh, I'm sure.


There are lots and lots of little corridors leading off from the main thoroughfare. I'm surprised there aren't any signs saying "here be dragons". The walls are all salt and you're actually encouraged to lick 'em. I did and it tasted... salty.


From St Kinga's chapel, the largest of four chapels in the mine. It is in use as a proper church and they hold Mass down here every Sunday.


Salt model of the Last Supper. It looks "deep", but that's a trick of the eye, in reality it's almost flat.


Dis be what Polish salt looks like; dark gray.


Even the chandeliers are made of salt.


If you want to lick the (former) pope, here's your chance. But don't expect to ever see the light of day again, he's worshipped almost like a deity in Poland and you would surely get beaten to death for such an apostasy.


Natually, I was skeptical of the salt mine.

Birkenau

Most of the actual killing was done in the main external camp, the so-called Auschwitz II - Birkenau. I drove there this morning, fully intending to check it out, but when I got there and saw the rain coming down almost sideways and still having the mental scars of the visit to Auschwitz the day before, I thought "fuck this". I took a few pictures and set course for the small town of Wieliczka, on the other side of Krakow.

The entrance area.


Row upon row of dark grey barracks in a Polish field. Yeah, but no.

Pilgrimage to Auschwitz

This morning, I flew down from Oslo to Krakow, rented a car at the airport and set course for the small town of Oświęcim. It is probably better known by its Kraut German name, Auschwitz. After the horrors uncovered at the concentration camp in '45, the very name has become a symbol of the utmost evil. Today, it is a UNESCO World Heritage site and admission is free (unless you want a guide).

I wish I had good things to say about the camp as a museum, but I just don't. I mean, I pretty much check all the boxes. I'm interested in history. I like museums (I've even worked in one). I have a longstanding affinity for the Jewish people and I'm a strong defender of Israel in the Middle East. The story the exhibitions tell is hugely important. And that's why it's such a shame that it isn't told better.

Now, let me first of all make one thing very, very clear. I do NOT want Auschwitz to become a McAuschwitz. I do not wish to see a commercialized, glitzy testimony to the worst aspects of modern consumerism. But does everything have to be so... for lack of a better word, Eastern European? I understand the historical significance of the place and the wish to keep it authentic, but the tourist shops outside are grimy and boring and the staff speak atrocious English. Much of the parking lot is a muddy swamp. There is no waiting area so you're exposed to wind & weather as you wait to get in. The signposting is so-so. And the information once you enter is largely presented in an unimaginative, boring manner befitting a nation that gave us the Palace of Culture and Science in Warzaw.

There's TONS of information about how many were killed, in what way, where, when, etc, etc, etc. But rarely do you see anything resembling personal histories that can help understand what went on. Very quickly, you're numbed and overwhelmed by this machinelike insistence on facts, facts, facts and nothing else. There's no human side to it at all. Again, a very Eastern-European way of doing things, but utterly useless to anyone else. I could feel myself getting more and more angry as I walked around, looking at the umpteenth board with numbers on it, because this story could, nay SHOULD have been so, so much better told. I had planned to use the afternoon to scout it out and most of next day too, but in the end I left after about an hour. That's how frustrated I was. Anyway, here are some photos:

The (in)famous slogan "Arbeit Macht Frei" (work liberates). That's pretty much the schoolbook example of adding insult to injury.


From the grounds.


Attempt at something arty-farty.


Model of the camp.


I believe this was an execution site. Being cunts German, the camp management had a number of rules for everything and infractions were often punishable by death. Here, they were shot.


Another execution site, this time for hanging. Bullets cost money, you know.


The crematory. In the words of Bob Dylan: "Though they murdered six million / in the ovens the fried / the Germans now too have / God on their side".


Even the few attempts at making something humane out of the experience fell flat. Or maybe by this time, my mind had shut down and gone into survival mode.


You knows ah finds 'em - the shitters!


As you've probably gathered, I was deeply skeptical of Auschwitz.

Brief update from Kiev

Yes! I made it here alive! Brief summary of the trip so far:

Saturday: Norway-Berlin. Found a cheap motel without any hot water, but since there was a huge gas station with showers just 200 meters up the road, that was no problem. However, the house party they were having in the basement until 1AM was.

Sunday: Completely missed the intended exit into Berlin, which would have taken me to my hotel. Instead, through sheer dumb luck I ended up outside the Altes Museum, where I intended to go anyway. I spent several hours browsing through their wonderful Egyptian collection, and finally fulfilled my old dream of seeing the famous Nefertiti bust. It is every bit as stunning and lifelike as pictures make it out to be.

In the evening I hooked up with a couple of Dutch hitchhikers, who I'd agreed to take with me to Lublin, Poland (see hitchhikers). They were very nice people, and we had a pleasant dinner and conversation, much of it centering on the numerous similarities between Netherlands and Norway.

Monday: We navigated our way out of the road hell that is Berlin, and set off for Poland. T'was a long drive through mainly flat and boring landscape (there were shouts of joy every time we saw a hillside...) and a lot of jokes regarding the general standard of the Polish countryside. One of the Dutch suggested they could have been the set for Borat's hometown.

I dropped them off at their campsite and almost immediately picked up a couple of Polish hitchhikers. This turned out to be a fortunate move, since they were able to spot my hotel, whose sign was written in such a ridiculously embroidered writing, I wouldn't have found it in a million years.

I had dinner in the hotel restaurant. The food was quite tasty, but the waiter looked like it hadn't quite dawned on him yet that he would no longer be sent to Siberia for talking to westerners.

Off again

My travel foot is twitching, so I'm off again... driving to Ukraine Saturday morning! Stopping over in Berlin Sunday, on to Poland Monday, then off again to Kiev on Tuesday... then Saturday next week I'm driving to Odessa together with an Ukrainian friend and her colleague, then I'll start driving home Monday... going through Moldova, where I'll probably spend a night. I'll probably be back Thursday two weeks from now (if I make it back alive at all).

Can't win them all

Fuck-fuckety-fuck. Kaczynski seems to have won in Poland. Two exit polls show him with around 53% of the vote, and Tusk has already conceded. Fuckers chose the Neanderthal over the Modern Man.

On the bright side, a poll out today in Brazil showed 51-41 against the proposed ban on guns & ammo.

Hmmm... maybe someone could arrange for Kaczynski to go on a state visit to Brazil...?