Californication: Into even bigger mountains

Monday was spent relaxing up at my apartment in Dokka, since I had to work. Tuesday, we set off bright and early towards the west coast again, this time slightly further north.

Not far from my abode is this little pond, where the water was so still and clear, it created an almost perfect image of the trees.


Further northwest, in Valdres, we crossed over a bridge and this view caused me to hit the breaks at the same time both Americans yelled "stop". We spent ten minutes looking at the views and sighing wistfully.


A little bit further up, the mountains above Vang were still snow covered.


Naturally, the waterfall was flowing at full capacity in Vang proper.


Just over the mountains was the stave church at Borgund. Very nice structure and the new church isn't too shabby either.


Original detail from the church, now hanging in the very nice visitor center.


It is situated in a very, very pretty location, with a nice stream and majestic mountains in the immediate vicinity.


Iffin you don't drive from the church and back to the main road, but instead continue on the old road, you're rewarded with much better scenery.


Water, water everywhere. And a rainbow.


We then took the ferry over from Fodnes to Mannheller. As the whole concept of car ferries was alien to them, this was a new experience. We then drove up to Sogndal and up the fjord to Fortun and then across the mountains to Lom, then east to Vågå and across Valdresflye back home. A nice, full day of mountains and lovely scenery. This waterfall is right before you hit the mountain plateau up around Sognefjell.


From the southern area of the plateau.


Looking back towards Sogndal. So pwetty.


Naturally, I was skeptical of Sognefjell.


Right after Krossbu is this lovely waterfall, which was extra speshial that day.


Extwa speshial.


I also managed to shoot this video of the stream coming down the hillside.


Down in Lom, there's this monument depicting all the saga kings of Norway.


On the way home again, I took them down to Knight's Jump and told them the story, which is of course bullshit. What impressed them the most was the state of the toilet at the parking lot, which was spotless on account of it being too far from people to get overrun by stinking gypsies and associated assholes.


View upstream.


Looking down into the abyss.


More abyss.


Some people will tell you this is moose droppings, but you and I know it's from trolls.


From the proper mountains at Valdresflye.

Californication: Flåmsbana

We continued over the mountains to the west coast, with all its lovely fjords and valleys and mountains.

This was some random waterfall of which we have dozens and the San Diegans none. Again, ooohing and aaahing.


Then we came to this pretty valley, not long before the small village of Flåm. It was so pretty, even a jaded cynic such as yours truly was moved.




We then took the Flåmsbana, a railroad line which connects the tiny village of Flåm with the railway line from Oslo to Bergen. The train ride is considered one of the most beautiful in Norway. Here is one of the many, many, MANY waterfalls along the way. You reach a limit where everything just flows into one huge waterfall and the details are lost and soon you lose the will to live. Or at least take more pics.


Some way up the mountains is a stop whith a huge waterfall next to it.


They have a couple of young womenses to dance around these old ruins and sing songs that are supposed to lure you into the mountain. Me, I'm reminded of certain Monty Python quotes about strange aquatic women and watery tarts.


This steep, winding road was built by the railway workers to ascend up the mountain. People still walk it today, people way, WAY more fit than I ever was or plan to be.


There's water coming down right beside it. Of course there is.


The railway winds its way up inside the actual rock.


Looking down towards the village of Flåm on our way back.


There's leafy trees and evergreens and waterfalls and and and...


Sadly, it was overcast for most of the day.


Naturally, I was skeptical of Flåmsbana.

Californication: Into the mountains

Saturday, we left Oslo way later than I had anticipated, due to the Cards Against Humanity-marathon the night before. We first drove up to the top of Krokkleiva, where there's a magnificent view of the Hønefoss area, where I've spent the majority of my formative years. So that place should probably be nuked.

Views. Oh, what views.


Video from Krokkleiva:


The waterfall in central Hønefoss, which has given the city its name and for that matter is the very reason why there was ever a city here in the first place. I've mentioned the huge amounts of snow melting up in the hills, and this was a good demonstration of that. Naturally, there was much ooohing and aaahing from the yanks.


We then drove on to our lodgings for the night, up at Hallingskarvet National Park. It is known as the Hobbit Hut and is quite cozy, but really only for people who know each other intimately. Really intimately. You see, there's no door to the toilet/shower area, so if people are in the double bed, they look directly at you doing your bidniss. So we left after the first night. But iffin you're a couple (or don't mind shitting in public), it's a nice little place.


Two minutes south of the cabin was this lovely, little water. The surface was a deep blue and so, so still Sunday morning.


After ooohing and aaahing over the waterfall in Hønefoss, it was time to bring out the big guns: Vøringsfossen.


Video from Vøringsfossen:


More video from Vøringsfossen:


Naturally, I was skeptical of Vøringsfossen.

Californication: The Viking Ship Museum & Museum of Cultural History & Parliament

This morning we started out with a drive to Bygdøy, a very rural part of the city that houses some of the country's most important museums. We focused on two; first the Viking Ship Museum, then the Museum of Cultural History, which sounds like it should have "for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan" after it.

A Viking ship from around 8-900 AD. The Americans were duly impressed.


They were hardy sailors, these Norwegians of yore. Me, not so much.


The ships were used for burial and contained a lot of other objects, among them this little carriage.


We then hauled ass over to the Cultural Museum, which is basically a huge outdoors museum with lots and lots of historical buildings from different areas and different time periods. Again, the Americans were duly impressed and it was here they started their now lifelong love of grassy roofs.

Exterior of a stave church. Norway is pretty much the only country to still have a number of these very old wooden churches intact. As stated on numerous occasions, I'm not one for religious buildings, but these are aesthetically pleasing and important historical structures, so I'll let them stand once I come to power and start burning the various churces, mosques, synagogues and mumbo jumbo temples of the world.


The interior. This church was from around 1200AD.


A typical Norwegian "stabbur", a storage house built on pillars so as to prevent rats and mice and such from getting at the food stored within. Sometimes servants or hired help would live in it too.


Some of them are really quite stunning to look at. Wish I had one.


We then drove back downtown to meet up with Hassi and Heidi, who took us inside Parliament, where she is now a regular MP. Here she is, pointing to a picture of herself. Honestly, will the self promotion never cease?


The chambers of Parliament, where they debate and vote. And probably sleep and play Pokemon and fornicate and defecate for all I know. Throw the bums out!


Video from inside Parliament.


Naturally, I was deeply skeptical of Parliament.


We then drove up to a huge food market close to the apartment. After browsing and buying and a lot of ooohing and aaahing by the Americans, we walked the last ten-fifteen minutes along the river Akerselva. We've had a lot of snow this year and the melting has sent all our many rivers and waterfalls into full tourist mode. The day ended with dinner at Heidi & Hassi's where we played Cards Against Humanity for way, way too long into the early hours.

Californication: Coming to Norway

Earlier today, my California crew touched down at Oslo Airport. Yes, at long last I have lured people to MY country. Their first impression of Norwegian culture was having a meal at a gas station, so maybe this didn't get off to a stellar start, but... anyways, we've been allowed the use of an apartment partially owned by my old friend Heidi and we'll stay in Oslo till Saturday, then we're off to explore the country.

In Oslo, we were met by Heidi's hubby Hassi, who took us on a brief sightseeing trip around town. We started off with a walk down by the harbor, which contains City Hall, a large square and a big apartment complex/restaurant area known as Aker Brygge.

Statue of the Norwegian/Danish naval commander Peter Wessel Tordenskiold. In 1716 he led a daring attack on a fleet of Swedish transport ships and sunk them and most of the Swedish artillery, which was on the ships, headed for Oslo. He's one of the greatest military heroes in Norwegian history and well worth a statue; this one is in the harbor in Oslo.


After a good walk by the harbor, we drove to the Opera House, where Hassi parked illegally so we could walk up the roof for ten minutes. Hugely expensive, a fucking waste of space and money... but not too shabby to look at. An average opera ticket is subsidized to the tune of something like 75-100 USD.


I shot this video from the roof. Most people just walk up there and take pictures, but of course some assholes have to break the rules and skate, or they bring huge fucking ghettoblasters to pump out African gangsta hip hop, cuz lordy knows that's what all Norwegians crave on the roof of the Opera House one fine evening in May.


Cranes fill the evening skies. There's a shitload of construction going on in that city.


This photo was taken shortly before 10PM in the evening from the Ekeberg restaurant. One of the very few advantages of living this far north are the long, light summer nights.


Video of the same view.

USA 2017: San Diego Zoo

My final posting is from the San Diego Zoo, plus some pics from Albie and Court's abode and a final one from LA.

His name's Bosch. He's a cutie.


Bosch and Coco.


A big, dirty, ole polar bear stretched out.


Ellie. We saw bigger ones in South Africa.


I believe these are California condors.


Awwww... it a baby giraffe. It cute.


Yours truly on the shuttle from Avis to LAX. Naturally, I'm deeply skeptical of leaving the US.