No sooner had I posted about my trip to the UK than I started coming down with the mother of all head colds. This should really come as no surprise, since The Universe has a long history of conspiring against me.
So I have cancelled all my hotel reservations and will stay at home instead. I now anticipate a full and speedy recovery, so that I can spend most of next week kicking myself for not going after all. The Universe is a bastard like that.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Terror Alert
Got this in my inbox today, and since I'm such a generous person I thought I'd share it with ya'll.
Londoners are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, and in consequence the Alert State has been raised from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon though, the levels may need to be raised to 'Irritated' or even 'A bit cross!'
Londoners have not been 'A bit cross!' since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from 'Tiresome' to 'A bloody nuisance'; the last time 'A bloody nuisance' warning level was issued prior to that was during the Great Fire in 1666.
Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.
It is not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert: the Italians have increased their alert level from 'Shout loudly and excitedly' to 'Elaborate military posturing'. Two more levels remain, 'Ineffective combat operations' and 'Change sides'.
The Germans also increased their alert state from 'Disdainful arrogance' to 'Dress in uniform and sing marching songs'. They have two higher levels, 'Invade a neighbour' and 'Lose'.
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone from 'Isolationism' to 'Find another oil-rich nation in the Middle East ripe for regime change'. Their remaining higher alert states are 'Attack the world' and 'Beg the British for help'.
Finally GB as a whole has gone from 'Pretend nothing's happening' to 'Make another cup of tea'. Our higher levels are 'Remain resolutely cheerful' and 'Win'.
**********
Londoners are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, and in consequence the Alert State has been raised from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon though, the levels may need to be raised to 'Irritated' or even 'A bit cross!'
Londoners have not been 'A bit cross!' since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from 'Tiresome' to 'A bloody nuisance'; the last time 'A bloody nuisance' warning level was issued prior to that was during the Great Fire in 1666.
Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.
It is not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert: the Italians have increased their alert level from 'Shout loudly and excitedly' to 'Elaborate military posturing'. Two more levels remain, 'Ineffective combat operations' and 'Change sides'.
The Germans also increased their alert state from 'Disdainful arrogance' to 'Dress in uniform and sing marching songs'. They have two higher levels, 'Invade a neighbour' and 'Lose'.
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone from 'Isolationism' to 'Find another oil-rich nation in the Middle East ripe for regime change'. Their remaining higher alert states are 'Attack the world' and 'Beg the British for help'.
Finally GB as a whole has gone from 'Pretend nothing's happening' to 'Make another cup of tea'. Our higher levels are 'Remain resolutely cheerful' and 'Win'.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Globetrotting Ghost
*rubbing hands* Ahhhhh... travel plans for the rest of the year are forming... I'm off to the UK in early October. I'll fly in to Glasgow Saturday Oct 1, then spend a few nights there and in Edinburgh before driving down to Whitby, a very historical town in northern Yorkshire. After two nights there it's off to York city for two nights, then on to see friends in Barnsley before flying out from Liverpool Sunday Oct. 9.
And just this evening I've booked a fairly cheap return flight (ca €200/$250) to Rome for xmas. Flying out Wed 21, back Wed 28. Not sure if I'm going to spend the whole week in Rome, but it should be a great trip anyway. Much warmer than in bloody Norway, that's for sure.
And just this evening I've booked a fairly cheap return flight (ca €200/$250) to Rome for xmas. Flying out Wed 21, back Wed 28. Not sure if I'm going to spend the whole week in Rome, but it should be a great trip anyway. Much warmer than in bloody Norway, that's for sure.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Spam, spam, spam - wonderful spaaaaaaam
As ya'll know, I absolutely hate spammers and would like to see them all put to death in a wide variety of gruesome and extremely painful ways. Lately, the fuckers have even started invading my comments section! But now I have discovered that blogspot offers a comment verification function, which you should all activate. It is very simple, you just go to the comments section of your edit panel and click it. From then on, anyone wishing to leave a comment must type in a word generated by blogspot. This requires a human and excludes all those effin' spambots. Problem solved!
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Jingle Bells
As some of you know (and mercilessly taunt me for), I sometimes move off my fat ass and partake in physical exercise. To be more precise, I sometimes play floorball with colleagues. I do it as much for the social aspect as for the exercise, and the worst thing that happens is usually that I get a little stiff in the morning the day after a game.
Todays game, however, almost ended in tragedy. Yours truly is no athlete - I tend to start wheezing after running five yards - but I'm fairly decent at filling up the space between the goalposts and today was no exception. Now, one of the players on the opposing team is a huge, bulky guy, infamous for his hard drives. When he fires off a shot, people tend to scatter in all directions. And this particular afternoon he fired of a shot of epic force about ten feet away from me, hitting me square in the holiest of holies. Needless to say, I went down like a sack o' taters and stayed down for a while.
Yet, even in my hour of excruciating pain I managed to keep my calm and fire off a remark. As the others gathered around me, inquiring about my status (dead or alive?) I managed to whisper hoarsely: "I'm fine guys... I'm fine... but I've got this sudden urge to go out and buy shoes..."
Now THAT'S calm under fire.
Todays game, however, almost ended in tragedy. Yours truly is no athlete - I tend to start wheezing after running five yards - but I'm fairly decent at filling up the space between the goalposts and today was no exception. Now, one of the players on the opposing team is a huge, bulky guy, infamous for his hard drives. When he fires off a shot, people tend to scatter in all directions. And this particular afternoon he fired of a shot of epic force about ten feet away from me, hitting me square in the holiest of holies. Needless to say, I went down like a sack o' taters and stayed down for a while.
Yet, even in my hour of excruciating pain I managed to keep my calm and fire off a remark. As the others gathered around me, inquiring about my status (dead or alive?) I managed to whisper hoarsely: "I'm fine guys... I'm fine... but I've got this sudden urge to go out and buy shoes..."
Now THAT'S calm under fire.
Fuck-fuckety-fuck
The Norwegian Parliamentary elections yesterday ended in a victory for the opposition, which consists of three parties: Labor (Social Democrats), The Center Party (protectionist peasants) and the Socialist Left Party (name says it all). Labor is twice as big as the two other put together, so I'm hoping they'll run the show, and a fairly tight ship too.
However, if they start fuckin up the economy so the interest rates go up, or if they increase the already ludicrous price of gas (7,5USD per US gallon, thank you very much) I just might go postal on their asses. Hmmm. Wonder if I should aim to be the world's greatest prison blogger?
On a side note, the sitting center-right govt and their allies gained 0,9% more votes than the "winners", yet only captured 82 seats to the reds' 87. Gore captured 0,5% more votes than Bush in '00. Think the Norwegian press will start questioning the new govt's popular mandate? Me neither.
However, if they start fuckin up the economy so the interest rates go up, or if they increase the already ludicrous price of gas (7,5USD per US gallon, thank you very much) I just might go postal on their asses. Hmmm. Wonder if I should aim to be the world's greatest prison blogger?
On a side note, the sitting center-right govt and their allies gained 0,9% more votes than the "winners", yet only captured 82 seats to the reds' 87. Gore captured 0,5% more votes than Bush in '00. Think the Norwegian press will start questioning the new govt's popular mandate? Me neither.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Judenrein
Kristallnacht, November 9, 1938:
9/11, 2005 - four years after you-know-what:
Yup. They're burning synagogues again. Are we going to do something about it this time?
9/11, 2005 - four years after you-know-what:
Yup. They're burning synagogues again. Are we going to do something about it this time?
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Decisions, decisions
Monday is election night here in Norway, and after much wailing & gnashing of teeth I've finally decided to participate. I absolutely hate and despise the current government and most of the individual members in it, but the opposition is even worse. So I'll go for the "Conservative" Party again, even though they're only fractionally to the right of Karl Marx.
Norwegian politics. Bah, humbug!
Norwegian politics. Bah, humbug!
Tuesday, September 6, 2005
GIVE, you miserly bastards!
Saturday, September 3, 2005
I love my satellite dish
As some of you will remember, I waxed lyrical about Slovenian TV back in May, when I watched my beloved Liverpool FC beat Milan for the European Championship on one of their free channels. Today, I watched the Norwegian national team commit highway robbery by beating Slovenia 3-2 away, and since the match ran on a Norwegian paychannel I don't have, I watched it on a free Slovenian channel.
I first tried to watch it without Slovenian comments while listening to Norwegian radio, but soon found that the tv picture was about 5 seconds delayed. This made the eerie impression of listening to slightly psychic commentators, so I soon turned it off. Besides, it adds a bit of spice to hear foreign commentators shout and wail in their largely incomprehensible tongue, and hearing them pronunciate Norwegian names is especially fun.
The match itself was a real nailbiter. Norway led 2-1 and had played quite well at half time, but then we commited the usual error of trying to play it safe and just control our way through the 2nd half. What followed was a continous barrage against our goal and just a few minutes before full time the Slovenians managed to make 2-2. On overtime we got lucky and scored, which was pure highway robbery, but then again life ain't always fair, especially in sports...
I first tried to watch it without Slovenian comments while listening to Norwegian radio, but soon found that the tv picture was about 5 seconds delayed. This made the eerie impression of listening to slightly psychic commentators, so I soon turned it off. Besides, it adds a bit of spice to hear foreign commentators shout and wail in their largely incomprehensible tongue, and hearing them pronunciate Norwegian names is especially fun.
The match itself was a real nailbiter. Norway led 2-1 and had played quite well at half time, but then we commited the usual error of trying to play it safe and just control our way through the 2nd half. What followed was a continous barrage against our goal and just a few minutes before full time the Slovenians managed to make 2-2. On overtime we got lucky and scored, which was pure highway robbery, but then again life ain't always fair, especially in sports...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
