Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I can haz cheezburger?
I thought it would be a fitting caption to these pictures of various popes, emperors and deities... enjoy!
How to make friends
Bosnian girl with marks all over her face: I was painting and I got some on me and I just can't get it off.
Me: I thought you just had the plague.
Me to five hot Brazilian babes in the hotel bar: So you're from Brazil... hey, we BEAT you guys at soccer! TWICE! Loooooooooooooooosers! (insert fingerpointing and victory dance)
Me: I thought you just had the plague.
Me to five hot Brazilian babes in the hotel bar: So you're from Brazil... hey, we BEAT you guys at soccer! TWICE! Loooooooooooooooosers! (insert fingerpointing and victory dance)
Random stuff from Prague
* I love this city. Sadly, I have done almost none of the things I had planned, largely because I've been up all night talking with guests, staff and friends of the staff. I've had an absolute blast, so much in fact that I've missed two out of four breakfasts. Not bad considering breakfast is served till 11am here... I've made new friends here, and last night my Ukrainian friends came in from Kiev and we're hoping to do something together for New Year's Eve.
* I absofuckinlutely hate Germans. They are they most inconsiderate, loud, borish fuckers on this sad planet and if I'm disturbed from my peaceful slumber by one of them again tonight I may spend the rest of my days in a Czech prison on multiple homicide convictions. Then again, this being the Czechs they just might acquit me.
* The food here is good, cheap and plentiful. They do deliciously naughty things to beef and pork without intruding upon sweet, sweet, burned, dead animals with too much dreadful greenery.
* I hate Germans.
* Speaking of animals, they had a couple of donkeys in a corral down at Old Town Square today, presumably to amuse children by letting them pet the furry fuckers. They wouldn't have any of it however, and fixed the tourists with that universal animal stare that says "if you're not going to feed me, you can fuck off".
* Did I mention I hate Germans?
* I absofuckinlutely hate Germans. They are they most inconsiderate, loud, borish fuckers on this sad planet and if I'm disturbed from my peaceful slumber by one of them again tonight I may spend the rest of my days in a Czech prison on multiple homicide convictions. Then again, this being the Czechs they just might acquit me.
* The food here is good, cheap and plentiful. They do deliciously naughty things to beef and pork without intruding upon sweet, sweet, burned, dead animals with too much dreadful greenery.
* I hate Germans.
* Speaking of animals, they had a couple of donkeys in a corral down at Old Town Square today, presumably to amuse children by letting them pet the furry fuckers. They wouldn't have any of it however, and fixed the tourists with that universal animal stare that says "if you're not going to feed me, you can fuck off".
* Did I mention I hate Germans?
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Absurd theater
Let me tell you this: You haven't really lived until you've watched thirty drunk Khirgistanis bopping around to what sounds like Russian 80's pop music. This is the beauty of staying in a European hostel, you met all sorts of people. Today I've discussed traffic laws with a Bulgarian shipping engineer who spoke maybe twenty words of English, but was quite good at Dutch, which I don't speak... I've talked to a bunch of Lithuanians - mainly in German, which is another language I don't speak... It's amazing how far you get with a bit of improvising and sign language and various half-assed pidgin varieties. Still, good fun!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Rome VI
Postscript for Rome... leaving for the airport in an hour.
As mentioned before my hotel, The Milo, isn't bad for its price, not considering this is Rome. Still I'd appreciate it if the fuckin greaseballs could at least refrain from making loud noises in the wee hours of the morning, and for that matter refrain from making loud phone calls and having loud conversations right outside my door at all hours. My world would be near perfect if the noisy greaseball family in the room next door would then stop entertaining their hollering children until 2am. Much obliged.
The farce that is Italian organization (or rather the lack thereof) continued at check out. I'd stayed at the Milo for seven nights, but the payment for one night had been withdrawn from my bank account as far back as late October. However, when I came down to pay, I was presented with a bill for just FIVE nights. Being a staunch capitalist I naturally observed the contractual obligations of a moral actor in the free market and pointed out that this was one night too little. The staff then spent the next 20 minutes looking through their files for the credit card statement that showed I had paid for that first night. I swear, Italians try my patience, really they do. If it wasn't for that sweet, sweet ice cream and those wonderful museums... *sigh*
Anyways, off to Prague! Keep watching this space!
As mentioned before my hotel, The Milo, isn't bad for its price, not considering this is Rome. Still I'd appreciate it if the fuckin greaseballs could at least refrain from making loud noises in the wee hours of the morning, and for that matter refrain from making loud phone calls and having loud conversations right outside my door at all hours. My world would be near perfect if the noisy greaseball family in the room next door would then stop entertaining their hollering children until 2am. Much obliged.
The farce that is Italian organization (or rather the lack thereof) continued at check out. I'd stayed at the Milo for seven nights, but the payment for one night had been withdrawn from my bank account as far back as late October. However, when I came down to pay, I was presented with a bill for just FIVE nights. Being a staunch capitalist I naturally observed the contractual obligations of a moral actor in the free market and pointed out that this was one night too little. The staff then spent the next 20 minutes looking through their files for the credit card statement that showed I had paid for that first night. I swear, Italians try my patience, really they do. If it wasn't for that sweet, sweet ice cream and those wonderful museums... *sigh*
Anyways, off to Prague! Keep watching this space!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Rome V
Ugh. I've had about all I can take of Italy now... their loud, theatrical behavior is grinding on my nerves and as usual holidaying in continental Europe reminds me of how much I love Britain and the US. Still, it was nice to see the sights again and to sample that divine Italian ice cream.
I'm heading to Prague Friday afternoon and I'm looking forward to it; it's the purdiest city I've ever been to and it's cheaper and more sane than Rome.
I'm heading to Prague Friday afternoon and I'm looking forward to it; it's the purdiest city I've ever been to and it's cheaper and more sane than Rome.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Rome IV
Today I took the subway to see Castel St Angelo, a huge building just outside the Vatican. It was originally built as a mausoleum for the emperor Hadrian, but has subsequently been rebuilt and used for various purposes by the papacy. It has a terrrace with incredible views of the city, but for its size the actual space devoted to exhibits and such is surprisingly and disappointingly small, especially at 11 effin Euro for the admission. They have a little cafe with great views and I can highly recommend the lemon tart with a cup of hot chocolate, if you have €9.50 to spare (told ya it's expensive).
I then walked to the Palazzo Altemps, which is a part of the National Museum of Rome (like the Palazzo Massimo and the Baths of Diocletian). It's better than the Baths but nowhere near as good as the Massimo. Also, the entrance is very poorly marked (hint: it's the door in the corner). I took a lot of pics both at St Angelo and the Altemps, and I will post them eventually.
Afterwards I walked to the Piazza Navona, which is still the tackiest place in Rome, where tacky people sell tacky souvenirs from tacky bodegas to tacky tourists, all in one of the most beautiful public squares in the world. Ugh. Afterwards I walked over to the Trevi fountain by way of the Pantheon (which I love except for the present day Papal occupation of an otherwise wonderful symbol of Roman religious tolerance).
Tonight I again had a highly mediocre lasagne dinner, accompanied by my russkie friend Olga. She confirmed a lot of my thoughts about Italy and the Italians, such as the fact that they love tackiness, that they can't make Italian food very well, and that they are, to the foreign mind, clinically insane. We also agreed that they were still much preferable to the French.
Not sure where to go and what to do tomorrow. Still need to see the Trastevere area, so maybe I'll take the subway there and go for a walk. Tata, fans!
Update: I almost forgot... HAPPY FESTIVUS!
I then walked to the Palazzo Altemps, which is a part of the National Museum of Rome (like the Palazzo Massimo and the Baths of Diocletian). It's better than the Baths but nowhere near as good as the Massimo. Also, the entrance is very poorly marked (hint: it's the door in the corner). I took a lot of pics both at St Angelo and the Altemps, and I will post them eventually.
Afterwards I walked to the Piazza Navona, which is still the tackiest place in Rome, where tacky people sell tacky souvenirs from tacky bodegas to tacky tourists, all in one of the most beautiful public squares in the world. Ugh. Afterwards I walked over to the Trevi fountain by way of the Pantheon (which I love except for the present day Papal occupation of an otherwise wonderful symbol of Roman religious tolerance).
Tonight I again had a highly mediocre lasagne dinner, accompanied by my russkie friend Olga. She confirmed a lot of my thoughts about Italy and the Italians, such as the fact that they love tackiness, that they can't make Italian food very well, and that they are, to the foreign mind, clinically insane. We also agreed that they were still much preferable to the French.
Not sure where to go and what to do tomorrow. Still need to see the Trastevere area, so maybe I'll take the subway there and go for a walk. Tata, fans!
Update: I almost forgot... HAPPY FESTIVUS!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Rome III
Today I've been a good boy and walked for several hours. I had plans to see the Colosseum and then the Palatine, but when I came down there I decided to drop it (partially because they'd changed the entry point to the Palatine and I couldn't be bothered with the extra climbing). So I walked on south, took in the open space that was once the Circus Maximus and then turned east to the 3rd century Baths of Caracalla. This was a place I hadn't really heard of before, but it was quite a nice place - absolutely huge in size and with some interesting remnants (pics will follow... eventually).
I then walked all the effin way back to Termini and beyond, to have lunch at the Eritrean place. Sadly they were closed today (a surprising number of places are closed on Mondays here) so I had a highly mediocre pizza at a place close by. This is my fourth proper visit to Italy and I've stuffed my face in cities big and small over a large part of the country. I therefore feel qualified to prounounce this surprising but nonetheless true judgement on the Italian cuisine: It's much better outside Italy. Their pizzas are mediocre at best, and they tend to put strange shit on it. Their pasta is often bland and dry. They even manage to fuck up lasagna, and that's actually quite a feat.
In their defense, I've yet to see a single ethnic Italian working in any of the kitchens here in Rome, and I suspect there's a similar lack of locals in most of the restaurants in the bigger cities. The one thing they still get right is their ice cream, though. It's sorbet-like in texture and some of the flavors are simply divine (my personal favorite is to mix strawberry and lemon).
Tomorrow I'm planning a quick trip to see the parts of Terme Dioclezian I didn't get to see Sunday, and then I'll take a bus to the Vatican to see Castel St Angelo and the Palazzo Altemps. Keep watching this space, bitches!
I then walked all the effin way back to Termini and beyond, to have lunch at the Eritrean place. Sadly they were closed today (a surprising number of places are closed on Mondays here) so I had a highly mediocre pizza at a place close by. This is my fourth proper visit to Italy and I've stuffed my face in cities big and small over a large part of the country. I therefore feel qualified to prounounce this surprising but nonetheless true judgement on the Italian cuisine: It's much better outside Italy. Their pizzas are mediocre at best, and they tend to put strange shit on it. Their pasta is often bland and dry. They even manage to fuck up lasagna, and that's actually quite a feat.
In their defense, I've yet to see a single ethnic Italian working in any of the kitchens here in Rome, and I suspect there's a similar lack of locals in most of the restaurants in the bigger cities. The one thing they still get right is their ice cream, though. It's sorbet-like in texture and some of the flavors are simply divine (my personal favorite is to mix strawberry and lemon).
Tomorrow I'm planning a quick trip to see the parts of Terme Dioclezian I didn't get to see Sunday, and then I'll take a bus to the Vatican to see Castel St Angelo and the Palazzo Altemps. Keep watching this space, bitches!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Rome II
As usual I haven't done half the stuff I'd planned to do, but such is the nature of holidays. I'm staying at The Milo hotel near the Termini train station, which is quite a noisy and somewhat shabby area. It's not a bad hotel for its price class, but almost every time I travel in Europe I'm struck by how much lower the value for money is here compared to the US.
I've been quite late for breakfast both days now, and I don't know if that's the reason, but the only stuff in the dining room is so high on carbs I can feel my diabetes perking up as soon as I enter. White bread, jam, chocolate, Danish pastry... this is the "selection" (or lack thereof) on offer.
Saturday I met up with a Russian student I've been talking to online, who's studying in Rome. We had lunch and talked for a while before going for a walk around the Termini area and then down towards the Colosseum. We ended up at the Basilica of St Clemente, one of the very few Christian places I would want to set foot in, largely because of the un-Christian stuff below ground. Beneath the present 12th century church is another church, probably 4th century, and even further down is the remains of a 1st century Mithra temple, and probably even older dwellings (the excavations are ongoing). It's quite an interesting place, and my Russkie friend was very happy when she discovered that it was the supposed resting place of one Saint Cyril, one of a pair of brothers credited (or blamed, as I would have it) for bringing Christianity to the Slavs. They also devised the forerunner to the present Cyrillic alphabet.
While there we struck up a conversation with a couple of young Bulgarian girls, who seemed thrilled at the opportunity to give a lecture about their country's history. As they clearly pegged me for a yank I let them drone on; I always become strangely magnanimous with people who think I'm a native English speaker (yes, I have an ego).
I've had another lazy day today - first I spent a couple of hours at the wonderful Palazzo Massimo al Terme, which is a part of the National Museum of Rome. They have an interesting collection of ancient coins in the basement, with lots of good information on the political and social importance of coinage throughout history. Seems even the old Romans fiddled with stuff like price controls and interest rate controls. Long story short: It didn't work back then either; price controls simply took products off the market. You'd think we'd have learned by now. On the three upper floors there are tons of statues and busts and frescoes and such, many of them really interesting, especially some of the ancient wall paintings.
Later I felt adventurous enough to take the advice of my guide book and lunch at an Eritrean restaurant just north of Termini. It's called "Africa", which is not very original, but the food was delicious if a tad spicy for my pale, Scandinavian self. The meat was juicy and tasty and was served with some kind of mild, pleasant bean stew and a type of African leavened bread which looked like a cross between a crepe and a sponge. There were also a couple of small bowls of spicy sauce on the side, but a quick taste revealed these to be of the kind that would most likely have burned their way through my intestines within minutes.
After lunch I strolled around the Baths of Diocletian, which is also part of the National Museum. I'd bought a three-day ticket that grants access to both, pluss the Palazzo Altemps, which I plan to visit Tuesday. I didn't spend much time in the Baths, so I'll probably head back there too.
Not sure what to do with myself Monday, but since a lot of museums are closed my options are limited. Colosseum and the Palatine prolly. Watch this space!
I've been quite late for breakfast both days now, and I don't know if that's the reason, but the only stuff in the dining room is so high on carbs I can feel my diabetes perking up as soon as I enter. White bread, jam, chocolate, Danish pastry... this is the "selection" (or lack thereof) on offer.
Saturday I met up with a Russian student I've been talking to online, who's studying in Rome. We had lunch and talked for a while before going for a walk around the Termini area and then down towards the Colosseum. We ended up at the Basilica of St Clemente, one of the very few Christian places I would want to set foot in, largely because of the un-Christian stuff below ground. Beneath the present 12th century church is another church, probably 4th century, and even further down is the remains of a 1st century Mithra temple, and probably even older dwellings (the excavations are ongoing). It's quite an interesting place, and my Russkie friend was very happy when she discovered that it was the supposed resting place of one Saint Cyril, one of a pair of brothers credited (or blamed, as I would have it) for bringing Christianity to the Slavs. They also devised the forerunner to the present Cyrillic alphabet.
While there we struck up a conversation with a couple of young Bulgarian girls, who seemed thrilled at the opportunity to give a lecture about their country's history. As they clearly pegged me for a yank I let them drone on; I always become strangely magnanimous with people who think I'm a native English speaker (yes, I have an ego).
I've had another lazy day today - first I spent a couple of hours at the wonderful Palazzo Massimo al Terme, which is a part of the National Museum of Rome. They have an interesting collection of ancient coins in the basement, with lots of good information on the political and social importance of coinage throughout history. Seems even the old Romans fiddled with stuff like price controls and interest rate controls. Long story short: It didn't work back then either; price controls simply took products off the market. You'd think we'd have learned by now. On the three upper floors there are tons of statues and busts and frescoes and such, many of them really interesting, especially some of the ancient wall paintings.
Later I felt adventurous enough to take the advice of my guide book and lunch at an Eritrean restaurant just north of Termini. It's called "Africa", which is not very original, but the food was delicious if a tad spicy for my pale, Scandinavian self. The meat was juicy and tasty and was served with some kind of mild, pleasant bean stew and a type of African leavened bread which looked like a cross between a crepe and a sponge. There were also a couple of small bowls of spicy sauce on the side, but a quick taste revealed these to be of the kind that would most likely have burned their way through my intestines within minutes.
After lunch I strolled around the Baths of Diocletian, which is also part of the National Museum. I'd bought a three-day ticket that grants access to both, pluss the Palazzo Altemps, which I plan to visit Tuesday. I didn't spend much time in the Baths, so I'll probably head back there too.
Not sure what to do with myself Monday, but since a lot of museums are closed my options are limited. Colosseum and the Palatine prolly. Watch this space!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Rome I
Some quick observations from my first 24 hours in Rome...
1) There's no place like an airport (or indeed an airplane) to confirm my belief that 99% of all humans are raving, ranting, slobbering idiots. The inability to comprehend even the simplest instructions or procedures to smoothen various processes from check in to security to ordering something from the airplane food trolley boggles the mind. Five minutes at an airport and you'll realize what a miracle it is that our civilization ever progressed beyond the hunter-gatherer phase.
2) The first sound I heard when exiting the train station at Roma Termini? Angry, drawn-out honking from dozens of cars. It's the unofficial Italian national anthem, and there's nothing like it to say "welcome to Rome". It's somewhat less amusing when it goes on well into the middle of the night and you're trying to sleep though.
3) It should be legal to execute - on the spot - people who talk loudly in hotel corridors after midnight. Italians are a noisy breed at the best of times and their antics can be tolerated, even seen as charming in small doses. But hollering at the top of your lungs in a hotel at 3 am should be a capital offense everywhere.
4) It's still good to be back. I like Rome, warts and all. It has a charm, an atmosphere and a pace that quickly gets to you in a good way. Friday and today have been quite lazy, but I'm looking forward to a lot of sightseeing in the coming days. Watch this space!
1) There's no place like an airport (or indeed an airplane) to confirm my belief that 99% of all humans are raving, ranting, slobbering idiots. The inability to comprehend even the simplest instructions or procedures to smoothen various processes from check in to security to ordering something from the airplane food trolley boggles the mind. Five minutes at an airport and you'll realize what a miracle it is that our civilization ever progressed beyond the hunter-gatherer phase.
2) The first sound I heard when exiting the train station at Roma Termini? Angry, drawn-out honking from dozens of cars. It's the unofficial Italian national anthem, and there's nothing like it to say "welcome to Rome". It's somewhat less amusing when it goes on well into the middle of the night and you're trying to sleep though.
3) It should be legal to execute - on the spot - people who talk loudly in hotel corridors after midnight. Italians are a noisy breed at the best of times and their antics can be tolerated, even seen as charming in small doses. But hollering at the top of your lungs in a hotel at 3 am should be a capital offense everywhere.
4) It's still good to be back. I like Rome, warts and all. It has a charm, an atmosphere and a pace that quickly gets to you in a good way. Friday and today have been quite lazy, but I'm looking forward to a lot of sightseeing in the coming days. Watch this space!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Scalped
I was almost scalped today. I teach a hairdresser class, and one of the perks is that I get free haircuts. Sadly, today one of my pupils made a mistake with the machine and left a very visible bald streak (yes, I still have a teensy weensy bit of hair on top) and the best solution was to cut everything equally short. I'm not completely bald, but the hairs are very, very short. JUST what I needed before going to Rome... On the bright side I got a very pleasant head massage for my troubles.
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