Quote of the Day

This week: Movie quotes!

"I'm gonna get us something from all four food groups: hamburgers, french fries, coffee and doughnuts."
- James Belushi in "Red Heat"

Quote of the Day

Men willingly believe what they wish.
- Julius Caesar

Quote of the Day

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
- Franklin P. Jones

Quote of the Day

Truth always originates in a minority of one, and every custom begins as a broken precedent.
- Nancy Astor

Quote of the Day

There's no real need to do housework - after four years it doesn't get any worse.
- Quentin Crisp

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When what we are is what we want to be, that's happiness.
- Malcolm Forbes

Quote of the Day

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
- George Bernhard Shaw

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The ultimate good desired is better reached by free trade in ideas [and] the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market.
- Oliver W. Holmes

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The act of bell-ringing is symbolic of all proselytizing religions. It implies the pointless interference with the quiet of other people.
- Ezra Pound

Quote of the Day

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
- Dave Barry

I ish 40...

...years old today. Meh.

My class

As you may remember, I quit my old job at the vocational high school back in November. Since then I've started teaching part time at the general high school in town, where the pupils are generally more motivated and clever in the "academic" subjects I teach. In addition, I've been given two history classes to teach and ya'll knows how much ah lubs history. So generally, the experience can be summed up in one word: Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

One of the classes I teach is a freshman class in social science. I had my first lesson with them on Monday, where I let slip that I turned forty on Saturday - I don't remember the exact context, I was probably joking about old age. The little ones took it to heart and when I had my second lesson today they'd bought a cake with lights on and a chocolate and covered the blackboard with a greeting. Some boys made (or dug up?) a poem for me which they recited and a girl had made a poem on the backside of a big poster. I think maybe I'm gonna like this class...

Quote of the Day

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.
- Barry Goldwater

Quote of the Day

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early or be respectable.
- Oscar Wilde

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There's no pleasure on earth that's worth sacrificing for the sake of an extra five years in the geriatric ward of the Sunset Old People's Home, Weston-Super-Mare.
- Horace Rumpole

Quote of the Day

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.
- H. W. Longfellow

Quote of the Day

The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.
- Alexander Jablokov

I rule

I rule. I got 33 outta 33 on this American Civic Literacy test. Try and fail miserably, you wannabe yanks! I think a 100% score on tests like these should entitle me to an American citizenship or two...

Quote of the Day

I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
- Thomas Jefferson

Quote of the Day

There are men you love - and then there are men you know well.
- Coco Chanel

Quote of the Day

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
- Mahatma Gandhi

Aaaaaaaaaaaw!

Ish wewy, wewy adorable... the cats cuddling up together in front of the stove.

Quote of the Day

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
- Woody Allen

Quote of the Day

Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.
- R. A. Dickson

Naples part XIV: Food

I realize now that I have somewhat neglected an important aspect of traveling: Stuffing my face. Oh, I've posted the odd picture of a particularly sumptious dessert, or a huge baguette but I haven't really blogged about it. This wrong will be righted from now on! Henceforth, food shall have the exalted place it is owed, as a subject worthy of blogging.

As I've written repeatedly, Italian food is generally much better outside Italy than inside it. Preferably it should not be touched by Italian hands, or indeed any other body parts at all. (The one thing they know how to make is their sweet, sweet ice cream - gelatto.)

Naples is actually the first place in Italy where I've been served a pizza worth the name. It had plenty of tomato sauce and cheese and meat on it, and the taste was quite good. Not spectacular, but good. A solid B+, with the + thrown in for effort and locale.

Some of the other stuff I tried in the area wasn't that successful. At a restaurant in Marciano, another frazione of Massa Lubrense I was tricked (ok, persuaded) into trying pasta with squid. The pasta itself was ok, but there was this watery smell and taste to it from the squid and I didn't finish it.

I had a couple of mediocre spaghetti bologneses in various places in Sorrento, and a somewhat better penne arrabiata. This spicy dish is also something the Italians are quite good at. I had a dry, thin immitation of a pizza outside the entrance to Herculaneum and a dry sandwich in Pompeii. Not a culinary feast exactly. The one thing that surprised me was actually the huge cake that my landlord in Termini gave me. It was quite sweet, especially when sprinkled with the vanilla sugar that came in a separate package.

When it came to beverages, I drank water, orange juice, diet coke and coke zero and t'was all lovely. I don't gargle with the devil's mouth water, nosirree! As mentioned before, Ivan drank the limoncello (a drink Sorrento is famous for) my landlord gave me. I also got a bottle of local wine from my landlord, which I graciously donated to my three American guests. It was gone the next morning... I also ate something I never thought I'd try - vegetable soup! 'Tis true! Jo made it, and it was quite good, though of course it lacked the taste of sweet, sweet dead animal. Can't win every time I guess.

I'm posting this pic again. A good thing is worth seeing twice!


The squid pasta. Eh.


The salami pizza at Herculaneum. Cardboard with sausage on.


I sliced off pieces of cake and ate it every day. When I left I had to throw away the rest, but I believe that if I'd made the effort, that thing could have sustained me all week.


A real WTF-moment. Bags of chips with SWEDISH text in Italy - what gives? The words "med löksmak" means "onion flavored" in Swedish. Yes, I speak the language of the enemy.

Naples part XIII: Souvenirs

Please stop me before I buy again. I should have my credit cards and money taken away from me before I go abroad, because I always end up buying stuff for myself and (imaginary) friends. I'll see something nice and shiny and think "ooooh, I bet NN will like that". Then when I get home I'll forget about the shiny thingy and NN and it will end up cluttering my bedroom until the end of time itself. I have in my possession a small meteorite rock (don't ask), a couple of bags full of various stuffed animals (no, really... don't ask) and half a dozen canisters of tear gas (REALLY don't ask!!!). None of it will probably ever see the light of day.

In Italy I managed to keep the purchases to a minimum (I didn't even have gelatto! Not once!), but I cracked at the little shop halfway up Mt Vesuvius, where they sold figurines carved out of volcanic rock. First I broke down and bought three pieces (of different animals), then when I went there a couple of days later with Taler & Jo I broke down again and bought three dragons. I NEED HELP!

An owl.


An eagle. These are reportedly favored by American tourists.


A contemplative frog. I think I may have a recipient for THIS one, muahahahaha.


Dragon with sword. "None shall pass!"


Dragon with candleholder.


Scary dragon with baby dragon at its back.

Quote of the Day

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
- Henny Youngman

Naples part XII: The people

I think I've said enough about Italians on these pages to give you an impression of how I feel about them. Fortunately, more civilized people (like myself) also roam the land, and some of them had the (mis)fortune of ending up in my neck o' the woods.

I've waxed lyrical about a website called couchsurfing before, and I made use of it with great success this time too. I posted a message on the "Naples and area" page the Saturday I drove out to Termini, and a couple of days later I got a text message from a very nice Russian couple.

Their names were Ivan and Elena, and they were from St Petersburg. They spoke accented but good English, and we talked about tons of stuff, from traveling to couchsurfing to the price of beer (a common subject when talking to people not accustomed to Norwegian prices). We had some cake (provided by my landlord), and I'm pretty sure Ivan drank my little bottle of Lemoncello (also a gift from the landlord) all on his sweet own. They were intelligent, cultured people and our conversation flowed easily, it was as if I'd known them for years. When I go to St Petersburg again (who knows when) I will definitely look them up, and I can give my best recommendations to any would-be hosts!

While driving to Sorrento to pick up the russkies I had gotten a text message which was actually SENT to me the day before, but had not reached me. It was from a FRENCH number and asked if I had room for 3 people - all girls. The thought of sharing a house with three Frenchies wasn't something I was thrilled about, but the texts were in colloquial English - even using slang - so I figured at least one of them had to speak the language of civilization rather well. It turned out they had taken a room in Naples that night, but would love to stay with me the next. We agreed to meet at Pompeii the following day.

The Russians and I had our fun with this all evening, and we talked about "ze French" and other ethnic stereotypes, etc too. When the morning came we went to Pompeii, where we rented a couple of audioguides and set off. The russkies said they wanted to go into Naples again later, for some more sightseeing, so I agreed to pick them up in the evening. I kept texting with the French number, and agreed to meet them at the Temple of Venus, right inside the entrance.

I had waited for maybe 30 seconds when I heard an unmistakably American voice drawl "Are you John"? I turned around, and to my great surprise (and relief) it turned out to be a trio of yanks! Well, technically they were southerners, but who cares! Sweet, sweet English speakers! With American accents! Bliss!

They had all been students at a women's college in Virginia, and were now in France for a year abroad. Two were still studying and one was working. They all professed to love France, but I decided not to hold it against them, since they were still very young. I figured they'd learn the truth soon enough. *Sniff*

They stayed with me for the next three nights, sharing the living quarters on the first floor. I knew how precious electricity was, so I had turned on the electrical heater in the morning. They had to come upstairs for hot showers (such as they were), and their only cycle of washing took 2 hours to complete (and they had to turn off their heat in the meantime). Two of them were from Louisiana and Arizona, respectively and had very little experience with cold weather. Still, all in good fun! *snicker*

We had a jolly good time, the Yanks and I - on Vesuvius, in Sorrento, down the Amalfi coast and in Termini itself. We shared some meals and a lot of laughs. Sadly they only got to meet the Russians briefly, but I'm sure they'd have made great friends too. They were just the right mixture of niceness and nerdyness, and iffin they ever come your way - separate or in groups - please take them in.

Ivan and Elena in the village square in Termini, with a very friendly dog.


Taylor, from Louisiana. She had a French phone, hence my mistake about their nationality (the code for France is 33, so now you're warned). Taylor's studied ancient stuff, so she was like a kid in a candy store at Pompeii.


Taler, from North Carolina. Yes, it's pronounced the same way as the Taylor above. Yes, it's confusing. Taler's a history buff and can eat anyone under the table. She has a metabolism that should be studied by science!


Jo, from Arizona. As you can see from the pic, she was freezing her ass off in appx 10C (50F). Apparently, people from Arizona are wussies. Jo's hilarious and a nerd. Oh, and she can cook! She's half Italian, so only half mad!

Naples part XI: Dogs

The Italians love dogs. Or, rather they love to have dogs running around everywhere, all the time and make noise when the Italians aren't there to make it themselves. It works beautifully, especially in the middle of the night. Even the tiniest village in that country is never peaceful. If it's not a moped or a car driving past your window and honking because they wish to warn any potential traffic coming in the opposite direction (yes, they did this outside my window!) you can be sure it's a dog or ten conversing across the roofs in their usual manner.

Most Italian dogs run around freely, and it can often be difficult for the uninitiated to tell if they actually have a home or not. The climate is such that dogs can usually survive quite well outside all year long, and the greaseballs - bless their polluting little hearts - leave enough scraps and shit out in nature that a dog can also find food. At Pompeii I saw a sign about the dogs that roam this ghost city; they actually have a program where you can donate money for food and veterinary services, etc. The sign said that dogs had always been a part of the city of Pompeii and they wanted to keep it that way. I found it strangely endearing.

In my experience Italian dogs are very friendly. Owner or not, they will often come right up to you and let themselves be petted or maybe beg for food (show me a dog that doesn't beg for food and I'll show you a dead dog!). About halfway up Vesuvius there's a side road that leads to the former chairlift up to the top. The chairs are long gone, but there's a small shop there where they sell things carved out of volcanic stone (more about that in a later post). They had four dogs - one of them was chained outside, but the other three roamed freely, barking at everything and nothing whenever the urge took them.

This fat Golden Retriever (?) was very friendly. As broad as a barn door, she came in when I was looking at the volcanic figures and promptly keeled over with her legs in the air, waiting for me to rub her belly. Naturally, I obliged.


This is Zero. A mutt of unknown origins I never saw him without something in his mouth, and he was parading around looking very pleased with himself. He was especially pleased when he yanked 30 euros out of my hand and walked around the shop for a minute before we managed to stop him and salvage the money...


This German Shepherd (the only thing named "german" that I have a soft spot for) was snoring his little heart out inside the grounds of Pompeii. Probably homeless.

Quote of the Day

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind.
- Jacques Barzun

Quote of the Day

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.
- John Morley

Quote of the Day

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
- Philander Johnson

Meh

Ok, ok, ok... I cave under peer pressure. I've gone and rejoined fuck... uhm... FACEbook.

Naples part X: Pompeii

The highlight of the trip was the tour of ancient Pompeii. I had been once before, briefly, in 2005 but wanted to study the place more thoroughly. When I got there I didn't actually get to see nearly as much as I had wanted to, I was simply too tired and maybe suffering from old ruins overload, after seeing Herculaneum and the Naples Archeology Museum earlier. Anyway, I got in a shitload of pics to share with you, dear readers (both of you!) and that's what counts. All Pompeii pics here.

The plaster casts of the dead are truly a sight to behold. Normally you'd only find skeletons but at Pompeii these were long gone. What remained were the hollows where they had once been, and it is these you can see today.


Scientists have disagreed on the cause of death, but the generally accepted theory now is that most of them died from heat, not from suffocation.


It's still one helluva way to go.


After death the people, animals and buildings were buried in up to 25 meters of ashes, pumice and soil. That's 82 feet.


"...not a cell is left the God, no roof, no cover/In his hand the prophet laurel flowers no more..." (εἴπατε τῷ βασιλῆϊ, χαμαὶ πέσε δαίδαλος αὐλά·.οὐκέτι φοῖβος ἔχει καλύβαν, οὐ μάντιδα δάφνην,.οὐ παγάν λαλέουσαν · ἀπέσβετο καὶ λάλον ὕδωρ.)


This pic was taken in the whorehouse. The ancient Romans liked their hanky panky.


The remains of a temple to Venus.


The remains of a temple dedicated to the emperor Vespasian, my definite favorite of all ancient characters. He died a few months before Pompeii was buried.


The landscape around Pompeii is stunning, if you can overlook the squalor that is modern Italy.

Quote of the Day

And all the winds go sighing,
For sweet things dying.
- Christina G. Rossetti

Naples part IX: Amalfi and Sorrento

During my week outside Naples, I drove through the city of Sorrento more times than I care to remember. Horrible, horrible lines are the order of the day in that place, and it's not made any better by the mess of one way streets, insanely narrow passages and craaaazy pedestrians and scooters that keep darting in and out of traffic. I spent more precious hours of my life in traffic jams in Sorrento than I want to remember, thank you very fuckin' much.

Still, there are some redeeming qualities to the city. The pedestrian area is quite nice, with some cozy alleys, warm food being sold and lots of typical, tiny Italian shops. The streets are bustling with people, and there's a constant cacaphony of voices, car horns, music, machineguns, etc. Ok, I made up the part about machineguns (they're using silencers these days).

I had also heard a lot of nice things concerning the Amalfi coast, so I took a little drive down there. December may not be the best time and I only went as far east as the little town of Amalfi itself, but I can safely say that even though it was a fairly nice piece of real estate, it wasn't even close to being "the most beautiful stretch of land in the world". Meh. It was steep alright, and the road was impossibly narrow, and there were some fairly nerve wrecking houses that clung to the cliffs, but it just wasn't THAT purdy.

All Sorrento pics here and all Amalfi coast pics here.

A Christmas tree. In the evening the whole area lit up like fuckin Vegas. I believe I've made some remarks earlier about Italians and tackiness...


I bet the guy handling the dolls is a real creep. Can you imagine having "sticking my hand up a doll's private parts and fondling it" as a hobby on your CV?


A horse & buggy. Sadly, the horse didn't crap while I looked on.


I dunno what this placard says, but I think it's to do with a visit the great tenor Caruso made to Sorrento. Either that, or this was the place he was attacked by a gang of rabid badgers. My Italian is very, very rusty.


The Amalfi area is steep, alright!


The coastline is probably a bit more inviting in the summer.


Though December has a certain windswept nicety to it.


The Christmas tree in Amalfi is even worse than the one in Sorrento.

Quote of the Day

There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.
- General Douglas MacArthur

Naples part VIII: Vesuvius

After my trip to Herculaneum I went up to see the old bastard that had buried the city all those years ago - the last active volcano on the European mainland: Vesusius. I never went all the way to the top, I was too cheap and too tired to park and walk the last distance, but I still got some nice pics of the area. The views from up there over the Bay of Naples are great.

The volcano had its last eruption in 1944, and has been quiet since then. Nobody knows if and when it'll blow again, but the experts think they'll be able to give fair warning these days and I hope for their sake and the sake of the thousands of people living on the slopes of that sleeping giant that they're right.

I also went up there a few days later, so some of the pics are taken in midday sunshine and some are taken at sunset. All Vesuvius pics here.

Naples.


The ole man hisself. Don't wake 'im!


These days the actual volcano is just a relatively small area on one of the peaks. Back when Pompeii and Herculaneum were buried, the caldea was much bigger and the mountain was higher. The old caldea is buried in ashes and rock and is now the home of a fertile landscape. I think this area was pretty much erased again in 1944, so what greenery you see here has grown since then.


Sunset over the bay.


Hell, yeah.

Naples part VII: Herculaneum

Right, time for another couple of installments in my travelogue, this time: Herculaneum. The town was obliterated together with Pompeii, and was actually found a couple of years before but it's much smaller, and in my view better kept. A lot of stuff was taken away from the sites, but the various royals who ran Naples at the time of the early excavations concentrated on Pompeii for their plunder, which probably saved Herculaneum somewhat.

The site is a lot more quiet than Pompeii. It opens at 8.30 and I was there shortly after 10, and I never felt that the place got crowded. So iffin yer fixin to see just one site and don't have much time, or hate crowds (like I do), Herculaneum is a very good replacement for Pompeii. It's also closer to Naples.

I recommend you splurge on the audioguide, as it will make the trip a lot more informative for you, and you will come away from the visit with a lot more than just your own, personal guesswork. All pics from Herculaneum here.


Herculaneum used to lie by the sea. The eruption of 79AD covered it in several meters of ashes and moved the coastline 400 meters south/west. This is what they had to dig through...


The ancient ruin city of Herculaneum. The modern city of Ercolano in the back.


An authentic, wooden door from Roman times.


One of the local senators. He'd put up lots of buildings and owned one of the biggest villas in town. Enshrined in marble he used to look out at the sea, now he's facing a wall of volcanic stone. Sic transit gloria mundi.


Some pretty frescoes that were still incredibly vivid and intact, 2,000 years later.






They found at least 300 skeletons in Herculaneum. The average height for men was 160cm (5'3") and for women 150cm (4'11"). This skeleton belonged to someone whose age was given as appx 20 years old, but my Italian wasn't good enough to find out if it was a boy or a girl.


The painted ceiling of a bedroom in one of the villas. Maybe this was the last sight the skeleton person saw each night before tucking in. Ars long, vita brevis.