It's 11:22am on Saturday here in the US. About 3 hours ago I was pulled over for doing 85 in a 70 zone outside Charleston. Fair enough, I was taking a calculated risk, and if I estimate how much time I've saved by speeding in the US I could happily pay the $100 that the trooper wanted. Except I didn't have the $100 dollars that the trooper wanted - in cash. I explained that I had plenty of money in my VISA card, so I don't regularly walk around with that much money on me. He leaves and goes back to his car.
So. After much to and fro the fucker steps out of his car for the second time, almost throws a slip in my lap and takes off. Being in a supposedly civilized country, I think it's a slip that I need to pay at the post office or in a bank. As it dawns on me that I have gotten a summons to appear before a judge on February 23rd, the fucker is long gone.
Now here's my problem. I have gotten a written note that says I need to go before a judge in South Carolina to pay my speeding ticket - which is now an exorbitant $185 - at a date when I can not legally be in the US. I need to be out of the country by January 23, I have a return ticket for January 22... and in its infinite wisdom, Uncle Sam will not let me back in for 90 days.
I need to call the South Carolina state police on Monday and explain my problem to them. Let's hope they will show a (rare for US bureaucracy) smidgeon of common sense and allow me to pay the $185 in person in South Carolina when I pass through on my way to Savannah on Wednesday...
If I'm not back in Norway by spring, I'm probably wasting away at Guantanamo Bay... or a southern prison with a cell mate nicknamed "Butcher" or something similar. I'm probably walking bow-legged and talking in a squeal. In my mind I can already hear the music from Deliverance. ~Le sigh~.
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