A poorer, but honest Ghost

Soooo... today I started my long, sad trek down through the inbred backwaters of South Carolina. To recapitulate: Saturday I was given a $100 dollar fine for doing 85 mph in a 70 zone, and when it turned out I didn't have that kind of money on me, in cash, the state trooper slapped an additional $85 on it and gave me a ticket, which I at first read as a summons to a court. I had decoded the atrocius handwriting of the trooper sufficiently to get a zip code, and thereby a city name. I needed to pay the ticket in Moncks Corner, SC, which is pretty exactly in the middle of fuck all.

When I came to the courthouse there was a sign that warned me not to take any guns, knives, cameras, recording devices and, for all I know, clothes, jewelry and peppermints into the building. I had to go through a metal detector, but at least they only held my cannister of pepper spray; I got it back afterwards, this being a free country where people are allowed to defend themselves.

At the counter I may have done something supremely stupid. The lady at first fidgeted for a while with my credit card, but since I had no American zip code, she couldn't accept it, so I had to fork over cash. And then she asked me for 25 dollars. Dumb, gullible, naive, hopelessly Lutheran, Norwegian me immediately corrected her and pointed out that the ticket said $185. As she looked it over again and discovered that she had punched in the wrong offense, it dawned on me that I had willingly given away $160 dollars. Well, South Carolina... all I can say is, use the money wisely and don't spend it all at once. No booze or tobacco, I'll be watching you!

I'm going to go curl up in the shower now and cry for a few hours over my lost money, but I'll leave you with this picture as an example of what passes for humor down here.