Invitation

Today I received an invitation to one of the social highlights of the year - the annual 4th of July celebration at the US ambassador's residence in Oslo. As always, this "official" celebration will take place in late June; on the 24th to be precise. Which means I'll have to postpone my departure for sweet, sweet Italy untill Thursday afternoon. I had hoped to get out of Norway as early as possible, but the US Embassy takes precedence.

Quote of the Day

41 days...

Shop for security over happiness and we buy it at that price.
- Richard David Bach

Quote of the Day

42 days to go... or six weeks! Wheeee!

Whenever they burn books, they will also, in the end, burn people.
- Heinrich Heine

I am Lars Vilks II

In solidarity with the Swedish cartoonist Lars Vilks, I am hereby reprinting the caricature that started the whole fascist violence drama: A drawing showing the "prophet" Muhammed as a dog.



I would also like to remind everyone that May 20th is international "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day", and encourage all of you to make your own artistic contribution.

Quote of the Day

43.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
- Lord Acton

I am Lars Vilks

Lars Vilks, a Swedish artist who has been living under police protection ever since he made a drawing of the "prophet" Muhammed as a dog in 2007, was attacked during a free speech seminar today. Vilks was giving a speech at the university in the Swedish town of Uppsala.

The point of his speech was to show art that had provoked various religions over the years, and he started out with more famous examples, like "Piss Christ", before moving on to an "art" piece called "Allah ho gay bar". That's when several members of the audience rose from their seats and advanced towards him. One man reportedly gave him a headbutt, and his glasses were broken. The police had to use pepper spray and some were arrested.

You can see the video of what happened here, notice how a woman is shrilling "Allah u Akhbar" throughout (Allah is great):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdyKmzEdHws

This should of course be totally unacceptable in a civilized country in 2010. The fuckin animals who attacked Mr Vilks should be rounded up and sent out of the country asap, on penalty of being shot in the head if they ever set foot in Sweden again. But almost as bad are the cowardly fucks of the media, who refuse to show the video, and even digitally blur pictures of the attackers and FAIL TO MENTION THAT THEY WERE MUSLIMS, like this asshole in the Norwegian daily Dagbladet. These lowlife scumbags are terrified of showing people the truth about islamist animals, because their politically correct world would come crumbling down around them if they did. (NTB, the Norwegian press agency also ignores the ethnic background of the violent mob.)

I have no idea what kind of art Lars Vilks produces normally, he may be a genius or he may be worthless. But in a free society he must be allowed to produce whatever art he damn well pleases. So in addition to being Kurt Westergaard, I am now also Lars Vilks.

Quote of the Day

44

In free countries, every man is entitled to express his opinions and every other man is entitled not to listen.
- G. Norman Collie

Quote of the Day

45 days.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
- Lily Tomlin

Quote of the Day

46 days to go...

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy.
- Thornton Wilder

Quote of the Day

47 days...

Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.
- T.S. Eliot

Quote of the Day

48 days to go

Every nation has the government that it deserves.
- Joseph De Maistre

Uhm.

The UK parliamentary election is held today, so I thought I'd try an automated test to see where I would end up. I consider myself a conservative libertarian, who would vote Conservative in most UK constituencies. Imagine my surprise when I tried the Telegraph's test and came out with this result:

UKIP 66%
BNP 58%
Labour 49%
Conservative 42%
LibDem 28%
Green 21%

There has to be something seriously wrong when a party containing fascist, anti-semite scum like the BNP comes in 2nd and Labour beats out the Tories... (whether that wrong is with ME or the Telegraph's test is another matter).

Quote of the Day

49 days left - 7 weeks...

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
- Evan Esar

Quote of the Day

Fifty days...

We take no note of time
But from its loss.
- Edward Young

Quote of the Day

51 days...

Sentimentality is only sentiment that rubs you up the wrong way.
- William Somerset Maugham

Quote of the Day

52 days...

Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning.
- Isaiah 5:11

Quote of the Day

53 days...

Beware that you do not lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.
- Aesop

Quote of the Day

54 days till Italy...

Men often applaud an imitation, and hiss the real thing.
- Aesop

Busy weekend

Yesterday I came out of my self-imposed provincial exile and went to Oslo to "party" with friends, most of them journalists (yes, who knew?). We talked and laughed for several hours, and the mood was only slightly dampened by the fact that a journalist accidentally managed to spill the better part of a glass of beer in my lap. This is quite common actually, and I'll leave it to you to ponder the irony of why I, as a teetotaller, usually leave the party as the guy most reeking of alcohol.

I also learned that a story that I had tipped one of them about, was the third most read story of its kind online - a story about Centralia, PA, a city which has been sitting above a coal fire for years. The fire is expected to least appx 250 more years. Anyway, a feather in the cap of yours truly.

Tonight I'm driving down south to attend a combined birthday & moving in party for an old friend (literally, she just turned 30, muahahahahahaha) of mine who I traveled in Italy with during the summer of 2005. Wheeee!

Quote of the Day

55 days to go...

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
- Aesop

Shoot me now

I have 40+ English tests to grade, ranging from the atrocious, but short to the atrocious and long.

Sweet Jebus, I long for June.

Quote of the Day

56 days...

Destroy the seed of evil, or it will grow up to your ruin.
- Aesop

Quote of the Day

57 days...

Please all, and you will please none.
- Aesop

Quote of the Day

58 days.

He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
- Aesop

Quote of the Day

59 days to go... This week will be Aesop week - quotes by the famous Greek fableteller. Enjoy!

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.
- Aesop

Quote of the Day

Nature understands no jesting. She is always true, always serious, always severe. She is always right, and the errors are always those of man.
- Goethe

Sixty days to go.

The Enemy

As Jon Stewart says it, if you have media you've already heard - Trey Parker and Matt Stone (of South Park fame) have been threatened by a muslim webpage for airing the prophet Muhammed on the show.

Stewart also mentions that the webpage's owners are living in New York City, enjoying American freedom to spew out their hatred of American society and pretty much everything Western, including democracy and freedom of speech.

My question is simple: Why Aren't They Killed Dead? Or, to put it more directly: Why the flying fuck haven't the FBI, the NYPD, the CIA, the Black Choppers or the Salvation Army tracked down these fuckers and torn them limb from limb a long time ago? Are we really that "civilized", that we allow these worthless pieces of rabblerousing scum to live among us and continue to spread hatred and recruit even more scum?

We're in a fuckin WAR, people. We have been since LONG before 9/11, and at least since that date we should realize who the enemy is: Islam. Which is why every fucker with a long beard, every fucker in flowing garments, every fucker who regularly kneels down to pray towards Mecca, every fucker who's ever uttered one fuckin word against the republican government of the United States of America and the freedoms for which it stands, needs to be told to leave the country on pain of beeing shot point blank in the head.

This is WAR. We have seen the enemy, we have heard the enemy, we have read what the enemy has to say. The enemy is here, now, amongst us, in all western societies. We have the means to eradicate it, to purge it from our soil, to rid our societies of this despicable, violent, misogynistic, homophobic, childbeating, pedophile, ignorant pestilence of a faith.

The choice is ours, and if we don't soon ACT, all the freedoms that we cherish will perish, little by little, piece by piece. South Park is just one example, the Muhammed drawings is another. This is a war we can easily win. But first we need to muster up the guts to fuckin FIGHT IT.

Quote of the Day

61 days - two months to go...

Imprisoned in every fat man a thin man is wildly signaling to be let out.
- Cyril Connolly

Quote of the Day

You can't be a Real Country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
- Frank Zappa


62 days left...

Quote of the Day

63 days left.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
- Drew Carey

Weather report from Norway

At present: Cloudy, with snow.
Forecast: Flying pigs.

Sixty-four days to go. Italyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Quote of the Day

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."
- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Quote of the Day

65 days left...

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Ogden Nash

Quote of the Day

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
- Eric Hoffer

Sixtysix days to go.

Quote of the Day

If triangles invented a god, they would make him three-sided.
- Montesquieu

67 days to go.

Quote of the Day

68 days to go.


Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.
- Oliver Herford

Quote of the Day

69 days, baby... 69...

If it had not been for the discontent of a few fellows who had not been satisfied with their conditions, you would still be living in caves. Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization. Progress is born of agitation. It is agitation or stagnation.
- Eugene V. Debs

Quote of the Day

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
- Winston Churchill

Seventy days left.

Quote of the Day

71 days.

The image of myself which I try to create in my own mind in order that I may love myself is very different from the image which I try to create in the minds of others in order that they may love me.
- W.H. Auden

Quote of the Day

72 days to go

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Quote of the Day

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
- John Diefenbaker

7-3 baby

Quote of the Day

A celibate clergy is an especially good idea because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.
- Carl Sagan

74 days.

Quote of the Day

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
- Baltasar Gracian

75 days, baby.

Indian eating

Just got back from the only Indian restaurant in town, and I'm so stuffed you could put me on a mantle.

*burp*

Ahhhhhhhh.

Balance

Lest I be accused of favoritism, let me also gloat over the recent revelations concerning the Catholic church here in Norway. The child molesters in funny clothes are still dragging their feet and saying that the reporting to the police is for the abused to do, the Church will not report pedophiles in their own organization.

Personally, I think every goddamn Catholic bishop, cardinal and the pope himself should be fucked up the ass with a big, blunt stick for any number of reasons, but this seems to be a particularly fitting one. They're running an organization that not only does its best to turn people to stupid, unscientific beliefs, but is also committing and helping to hide unspeakable acts against minors. The Catholic church is the world's biggest organized crime syndicate, and needs to be dealt with accordingly.

Consequences

One down, hundreds of millions of stupid, veiled-by-the-word-of-god cunts to go.

Added Saturday: I see the first commenter calls me a psycopath. It's not MY fault that millions upon millions of stupid cunts think that the word of God demands they wrap themselves in full body cover. It's not MY fault that in this instance the covering up had deadly consequences. I will, however, laugh merrily at the death of any stupid cunt, be they male or female, Muslim or Christian who go ahead and off themselves solely due to their own fuckin' stupidity. This story is chlorine in the gene pool and surely a candidate for the Darwin awards.

Quote of the Day

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.
- Dave Barry

Seventy-six days to go.

Quote of the Day

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving in words evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

77 days left.

Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up

Today I learned the basic tricks of the Moviemaker program, and in a daze of swelled ego and utter lack of critical sense, I made a video. It is a collection of travel pictures from various journeys to the US over the years, to the tune of America The Beautiful. The pics are blurry and the sound file isn't the best. Also, YouTube informed me that due to copyright issues with Sony, my video isn't available in Germany. Don't say I didn't warn ya...

Quote of the Day

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
- Dave Barry

It is now 78 days till I leave for Italy.

Quote of the Day

It is now 79 days left till I leave for Italy.

Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then, be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the forms of kings to govern him? Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson

It's the final countdown

Today, it is 80 days till I leave for Italy. I'm counting down.

Eighty.

Quote of the Day

A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.
- Barry Goldwater

Quote of the Day

If God kills, lies, cheats, discriminates, and otherwise behaves in a manner that puts the Mafia to shame, that's Okay, he's God. He can do whatever he wants. Anyone who adheres to this philosophy has had his sense of morality, decency, justice and humaneness warped beyond recognition by the very book that is supposedly preaching the opposite.
- Dennis McKinsey

Quote of the Day

Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it.
- Agatha Christie

See Naples and uhm... leave again

There's an old saying - "See Naples and die", meaning you can perish at your own leisure after seeing the grandeur of the city. Also there's a very real chance you'll croak while there; if not from the insane traffic, then from muggings, food poisoning or pollution. Anyways, I spent a very hectic day in the city back in the summer of  2005. I'd driven down from Rome with a Norwegian friend of mine and the next day we saw Pompei and Capri all in a day. On the morrow we made an insane drive all the way up to Milan. I remember Pompei as beautiful and dramatic, Capri as lovely and romantic and Naples as dirty, filthy and downright pestilent.

Ever the forgiving traveler I am willing to give the city and its surroundings a second chance - which is why I have just booked a flight to Naples for December 23, with a return flight to Oslo Jan 1. I am going to see Pompei in detail and Capri too and possibly venture south to the lovely Amalfi coast. I shall take in the (supposed) splendor of Naples' museums, gardens and castles. I shall venture underground to see "Napoli Sotteranea". I shall stuff face with pizzas on the piazzas. I shall not think of snow, cold and Norway, except maybe as a distant, unpleasant memory to be repressed (or, more likely, as a hellhole where most of my friends and family will be stuck for the holidays, muahahaha). In short, I shall have a jolly good holiday in a warm place. Except, with my luck, expect Vesuv to obliterate the city sometime in late December.

Doing Oslo

Yesterday I got a visit from Prague. Spencer, the yankee bartender and his Czech girlfriend Jana were in Oslo and I drove in to meet them on a gray, rainy day. Spencer is in Norway intermittently to do some work on a huge van he and a Swedish pal are going to use for racing motorcycles in the summer.

We managed to squeeze in 3 hours of sightseeing. We started out in the Vigelandsparken, a huge collection of sculptures made by Gustav Vigeland, then we drove out to see the viking ships at Bygdøy. I hadn't been to see the viking ships in years, but they were a pleasant experience. Huge and majestic, they bore witness to the fact that Norwegians have always been great travelers and some of the things found in the ships were really nice artwork.

We ended the brief visit by taking a stroll in downtown Oslo and stuffing face with Norwegian hot dogs in lompe, a Norwegian speciality. Bonus point for the fact that the sausages were made by a producer from my hometown, wheee. I've advised them that they gotta return here in mid May, to see the children's parade on the 17th, which is Norway's Constitution Day.

Some pictures from the Viking ships exhibition:

Wannabe vikings...


The Oseberg ship... containing a woman of high rank, this ship was originally used as a "pleasure cruiser" in calm waters.


The Gokstad ship... more sturdy, a replica of this ship sailed from Oslo to Chicago for the World Exposition in 1893.


The burial chamber from the Gokstad ship:

Quote of the Day

A man who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his intrusion on that of others.
- Jane Austen

Quote of the Day

Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.
- Buckminster Fuller

Quote of the Day

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
- Mitch Ratcliffe

Oh my darling clementine

Tonight I went shopping at the local grocery store, when lo and behold, I spotted something that made my eyes (and mouth) water. ISRAELI clementines! I wasn't slow to fill a bag and I shall stuff face all through Easter with these. I know it's not much, but whatever I can do to support Israel, I'll do.

Quote of the Day

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
- Muhammad Ali

Quote of the Day

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Quote of the Day

Oh Lord please don’t burn us don’t kill or toast your flock
Don’t put us on the barbeque or simmer us in stock,
Don’t bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.
- Monty Python

Wanderlust

It's Easter and I have all of next week and Monday the week after, off. My traveling foot is itching to wander but ah needs to save me moneys for the summer. I'm sitting here listening to typical "road songs" (mainly Springsteen) and it's all I can do not to run out to the car and drive south, and just keep on driving into the night.

Spring has arrived and with it the usual wanderlust. I've just gotta buckle down, grind my teeth and keep the powder dry till June, when I'm off to sweet, sweet Italy. Sigh.

Quote of the Day

I know a lot of people without brains who do an awful lot of talking.
- The Scarecrow (from The Wizard of Oz)

Quote of the Day

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton

Quote of the Day

Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.
- Calvin Coolidge

Quote of the Day

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
- Fred Allen

Quote of the Day

The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because philosophy is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
- John W. Gardner

Quote of the Day

Do you not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed?
- Axel Oxenstierna

Sorcery

According to CNN, a Lebanese guy has been sentenced to death in Saudi Arabia for "sorcery". Ali Hussain Sibat was a program leader in Beirut of a call-in show, where he "according to his lawyer ... would predict the future on his show and give out advice to his audience."

This is one execution I can get behind wholeheartedly. Fuckin cons who deceive their audiences by claiming to know the future or fucking morons who actually believe they can do so - doesn't matter. One less cunt in the world is always a good thing, whether that cunt is a stupid cunt or a tricking cunt is of minor importance.

Sadly, the Saudis seem to have fucked up on basic logic, since the rationale of his death penalty was described thusly: "...the judges in Medina issued a statement expressing that Sibat deserved to be executed for having continually practiced black magic on his show, adding that this sentence would deter others from practicing sorcery." In other words, he's not being beheaded because he is making outrageous, irrational, illogical bullshit claims, he's getting his head lopped off because the Saudis think he's able to foretell the future by invoking black magic.

I've already gone on record advocating this measure before, for other reasons, but let me reiterate it in no uncertain terms: The whole Saudi royal family, its religious authorites and its clergy; every fucking institution that serves to prop up this disgusting stone-age regime of superstition, fundamentalism, misogyny and just general allround stupidity needs to be wiped off the surface of the earth.

Quote of the Day

In explaining any puzzling Washington phenomenon, always choose stupidity over conspiracy, incompetence over cunning. Anything else gives them too much credit.
- Charles Krauthammer

Quote of the Day

I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.
- Michael McShane

Quote of the Day

I drink to make people interesting.
- Groucho Marx

Quote of the Day

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- Steven Wright

Quote of the Day

Les envieux mourront, mais non jamais l'envie
[The envious die, but envy never does]
- Molière

Quote of the Day

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
- Doug Larson

Vive la France!

The Prague deal fell through, on account of the Czech morons already having rented out the apartment they offered me... what a bunch of amateurish imbeciles.

On the bright side, I've just gone and extended my stay in the south of France from a week to a month. Nice little town, surroundings seem purdy and there's lots of history in the area. The drawback with any and all activities conducted in France is of course that the country is full of FRENCH people, with all that entails in terms of annoyance, arrogance, cowardice, non-parlez-anglais-fear-of-soap-generally-behaving-like-a-cunt behavior. Still, I shall brave it for a month, and maybe I'll come away with, if not an appreciation, then at least a resigned tolerance for the southern frogs.

Quote of the Day

If half the lawyers would become plumbers, two of man’s biggest problems would be solved.
- Felton Davis, Jr.

Quote of the Day

According to The Telegraph, the current Labour administration is planning a move to abolish the House of Lords and replace it with a wholly elected second chamber. About fuckin' time is all I can say. The UK is the only democracy left in the world where one half of its legislature is composed of a mixture of the bastard sons of previous kings (hereditary peers) and psychofants of the current prime minister (life peers). Kick 'em out and let the people decide, for better or for worse. Which brings me to the quote for today, which I thought was an unusually appropriate one:

"The House of Lords is a model of how to care for the elderly."
- Frank Field

Quote of the Day

I have no plans, and no plans to plan.
- Mario Cuomo

Quote of the Day

Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity to be otherwise.
- Maya Angelou

Quote of the Day

The more you are willing to accept responsibility for your actions, the more credibility you will have.
- Brian Koslow

Quote of the Day

Whenever a friend succeeds a little something in me dies.
- Gore Vidal

Quote of the Day

When you choose the lesser of two evils, always remember that it is still an evil.
- Max Lerner

666

This is my post #666, muahahaha!

On a more sombre note, is there anything more wexing than waiting, waiting, WAITING for confirmation that your travel arrangements are in order? My first apartment in Prague was SOLD the week after I got an initial OK from the owners to rent it (wail & weep, it was a true beauty!), and now I've gotten an offer from a rental agency in Prague, but they have yet to get in touch with the owner of the apartment to get a final confirmation. Gah!

If all goes according to plan I leave the country the day after school ends and return the day before it begins again. Now that's what I call good use of time, a whole summer spent outside Norway...

Quote of the Day

Road Rage, Air Rage. Why should I be forced to divide my rage into separate categories? To me, it’s just one big, all-around everyday rage. I don’t have time for fine distinctions, I’m busy screaming at people.
- George Carlin

Quote of the Day

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?"
Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually, "Cats are Nice."
- Terry Pratchett, from "Sourcery"

Quote of the Day

As one goes through life one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.
- Katherine Hepburn

Quote of the Day

Tact consists in knowing how far we may go too far.
- Jean Cocteau

Quote of the Day

One is never as fortunate or unfortunate as one imagines.
- De La Rochefoucauld

Quote of the Day

The hotel shop only had two decent books, and I'd written both of them.
- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

War is like love; it always finds a way.
- Bertolt Brecht

Quote of the Day

May you live all the days of your life.
- Jonathan Swift

Vive la Republique

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand it's done. I've nailed down a great place in the south of France for one week this summer, just 3 hours from Barcelona. Daytrip, here we come.

Now I've managed to cover the first three weeks of holidaying, and I have an apartment in Prague that's almost, just almost mine... I can feel the taste of it, my preciousssssss...

Quote of the Day

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

Quote of the Day

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that wouldn’t work.
- Thomas Edison

Quote of the Day

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
- James Bovard

Happyyyyyyyyyyy

I'm so happy! Happy, happy, happy! Albie and Court booked tickets last night and are definitely coming to Europe, wheeeeeeee!

As of now the travel plan has them arriving in Geneva Monday 6/28, leaving from the same place Wednesday 7/21. They'll start out with a few days in Geneva (Albie's old hometown), then probably go to Venice for a couple of days before coming down to see me in my spacious apartment just south of Florence. We're staying in Italy till July 10th, probably taking day trips all over the place.

From July 10-17 we have a one-week gap to fill, it'll probably be France (where I can safely go these days, the country having elected a president who doesn't suck ass on a daily basis). Then Albie and Court are off to Paris for a few days before going home from Geneva, while I take off to Prague for my last two weeks of rental.