Inchmahome Priory

Inchmahome Priory and the area around have some of the strangest names in Scotland. Inchmahome is funny enough in English, but comes from the Gaelic "Innis MoCholmaig" and simply means the Island of St Colmaig.

The priory lies on said island, which is situated in one of Scotlands few lakes - almost all other bodies of water are called lochs up here - but not the Lake of Menteith. This too has a Gaelic explanation; the area was known as "Laich o Menteith", which means the "lowlands of Menteith", but a Dutch cartographer fucked up sometime in the 16th century and the name for the loch stuck.

Finally, there's the only settlement of any size around the lake; Port of Menteith. It's not a port or a harbour at all; "port" means ferryplace in Gaelic and refers to the fact that there were (and still are) boats going to and from Inchmahome Priory.

The priory sits a seven minute boat trip out in the waters of the lake and has always been known for its peacefulness. The monks were Augustins and generally not allowed to speak while in the priory, so this naturally added to the tranquility of the place. It was visited by Robert the Bruce in 1306 and in 1547 it played host for three weeks to the then 4-year old Mary Stuart, who was whisked away to safety there after the Scots had had their asses handed to them in the Battle of Pinkie Clough.

Again, the island's reputation is well founded. It is a very nice, lush place with some very old, majestic 4-500 year old chestnuts growing there and some friendly waterfowl begging for food from tourists. Very peaceful and all, and also perfect for a picnic if you can avoid all the turds that the fuckin' Canada geese leave there.

All pics here.

The island of Inchmahome.


Priory ruins.





This clearing was where the 4-year old Mary used to play in 1547.


There are some mighty nice trees on the island.


This chestnut tree is 4-500 years old.


If you tilt your head and squint just so, you can imagine some pretty crazy stuff going on here.


Have you ever seen anything as crazy as this?


One fears to speculate what lies within.


This.


Two ducks preening themselves. As previously stated, it's a hard life in the tourist industry.


I bought two packets of butterscoth biscuits and shared one of them with the ducks. The guy behind the counter who sold me the packets said the ducks were in the business of shaking down tourists who'd been stupid enough to bring food to the island. What he didn't say (but which may have been implied) was that so far none had been stupid enough to buy food at the island with the explicit intent to feed the greedy little featherballs.