Battle of Britain Memorial Flight

The Battle of Britain Memorial Flight is an RAF squadron of old planes used for PR purposes basically. They drag out the old planes iffin there's a jubilee or a state visit and possibly if prince Phillip feels like strafing some rebelious Scots up north. The unit has 12 planes in all and probably the most boring staff of all British military and civilian institutions in the past, present and future. Allow me to elaborate.

I went in at the visitor center, which was a nice enough place and had the added benefit of being free of charge. But in order to see any actual, honest-to-fuck aircraft, you needed to join a guided tour and pay six pounds. Not wishing to be cheap in the face of so much grand war history, I forked the money over.

Well, that's six pounds and 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back. First, we spent almost ten minutes outside the hangar while the guide (apparently a volunteer - I suspect mostly due to the fact that no one will PAY these geezers to listen to them drone on) went on and on ad nauseam about a cargo plane (a Dakota) standing on the tarmac. I suspected what was in store, but followed the group meekly inside the hangar.

Here, my poor ears were subjected to a long, rambling harrangue about every minute, drawn-out, skullsplittingly dull detail regarding a series of machine guns mounted on the wall. I had paid to see actual WW2 aircraft, maybe get a good anecdote or two about swashbuckling pilots and their womenses or a particluarly daring raid on Berlin. What I got was a twenty minute lecture on mechanics.

He was about five minutes into a loooooong monologue on some Rolls Royce engines when I felt my life force slipping away so fast that I simply turned around without a word, snapped a few pics on the way and marched right out of there. I kept on walking till I reached the car, seething with pure, sheer hatred at the thought of somebody making such a complete, fucking BORE out of WW2 history. If it wasn't for the fact that they had closing times, I bet he would still be down there, squeezing the lifeblood out of the rest of the poor group.

So my advice to you is to go see the visitor center. You may even wish to purchase some items from their less than well stocked shelves (the only fleece jacket sizes they had were for Japanese midgets). But by all that is Holy in this world, by all that is Good and Just and Right, stay the fuck away from the guided tour - unless you have either a death wish or some very good earplugs.

All pics here.

No worries there.


The planes are owned and operated by the RAF proper, and they have maintenance personell going over the planes and such; they're taking much better care of them than they did during the actual war. The big, dark bird towards the back is a Lancaster bomber.


Model of a Lancaster.


The engine that finally made me snap.


The area is an actual RAF training ground to this very day, and I saw and heard lots of planes in the air around me.